Didn't identify where the discouragement was coming from. It had been going for awhile since a month ago. Then Legacy was the turning point. Was sharing in life group how I battled through only by God's amazing Grace. All I wanted to do was remain at the conference and not go back to the world. But reality was there, and the world was where I had to be in, not of.
But each day going back to Legacy, God made Himself present. His Presence made me just want to remain there. I asked God, why can't the world be like this? But God intended for us to take His Presence to the world. So I asked God, how can I live in this world? God told me, live in His Presence. Find acceptance only in Him. My Hope and Salvation is only found in Jesus.
And then He allowed Kuzi to wait for me to drive her home. Having such a housemate is wonderful... to ride to and fro church... God placed her in my car for that purpose, to encourage me, to know that I'm not alone.
And then Sunday was it. God said, 'GO'. Come to think of it, I'm now reminded of one of my firey passions this year - the Great Commission. "Which part of GO do you not understand?" And to speak of more encouragement, Atieno spoke her word into my life.
God sent Evelyn to speak life into my life on Tuesday. Funny how the tables turned and I didn't need to shepherd her with the lesson I prepared. Somehow I allowed God's Spirit to take control, and He did. She ended up praying for me and even received a vision for me after I prayed for her. God is amazing!
Even more amazing, I was so sick today I had to go home from work. I thought I wouldn't make it for chairing today. My first time chairing in life group (after a training chairing at UDMM 1 year ago). It was only half an hour to life group and I was still stuck in bed, couldn't get up. But somehow Strength came, and I went...
God spoke more than what I prepared for the sharing. He took over... some said I was calm and didn't seem like my first time. The life group responded. God moved...
Whao... read Shin Yee a.k.a Da Sao's blog this morning at work... and just saw how much she missed God... it's amazing. I do have those 'miss God' times as well... and I pray that everyday I will yearn for God so much..
Moses told God:
Then Moses said to him, "If your Presence does not go with us, do not send us up from here. How will anyone know that you are pleased with me and with your people unless you go with us? What else will distinguish me and your people from all the other people on the face of the earth?"
- Ex 33:15-16
Really.. that is my prayer to God. I can't live this life no more without God..
It's not about me. So, discouragement shouldn't set in. Because it's not about me. It's not about whether I bear fruits now, or later... or what people think of me. It's not about me. Remaining in Christ, and yielding fruit in season. Let God decide the season.
He is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever he does prospers.
- Psalm 1:3
It's all about God.
Learning to decrease, so He can increase.
Back to rest. I thank God for today. The wonderful day He had made. :)
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