Season Update?
This season has not been easy at all..
In the midst of many happenings, God's been moulding my heart towards Him.. and righting the wrongs within. I do question why I'm in this place - but I know that God is working for my good. No pruning process is fun... but this process is bittersweet.
Tears have fallen as liquid prayers more than I can hold back..
Questions hitting heavens as I press on in prayer.
I feel like running away, to a land where no one knows me. But running away isn't going to solve any root issues. I asked, can I just be a normal member in another church? The answer is, yes - maybe for half a year or so... but I realise I won't be, for eventually my heart will respond to God once again.
I've been told from the beginning.. the promises, the visions and the hardships to come. Yet, it's a rewarding process, filled with breakthroughs one after another. Right now, wrung as dry as can be, I find myself again at a place of brokenness and of a contrite heart. Not the best place to be in... but here, my eyes returned fix unto God.
The ultimate fulfillment one can have in life, at least to speak for myself, is to be in a close knitted relationship with God. But so many self-willed desires draws us from Him. And my prayer each day is to be closer...
They say the prayers we prayed yesterday makes us who we are today. To be honest, I now quiver at the thought of telling God 'here I am, send me'. But... the physical cannot restrain the spirit within. This pruning process will see a victory soon.
The Lord told me this year will be a Journey of Faith. Indeed it has been. But not one that moves mountains. But one that develops the seeds of faith - to love, to sacrifice, to trust, to endure, to believe, to obey, to look foolish, to be hurt, to be misunderstood, to be isolated, to lose a friend and to lay my burdens down.
That all these may require faith, that in His right timing, God will raise what was lost back again, heal broken relationships, vindicate, reinstate and pour forth His blessings... in His time.
And even in the event that I might not see certain things come to pass, I will still persevere, in knowing that I am looking forward to a country not of this world.
"All these people were still living by faith when they died. They did not receive the things promised; they only saw them and welcomed them from a distance. And they admitted that they were aliens and strangers on earth. People who say such things show that they are looking for a country of their own. If they had been thinking fo the country they had left, they would have opportunity to return. Instead, they were longing for a better country - a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared a city for them." - Hebrews 11:13-16 (NIV)
A broken and contrite heart He does not despise. Through this I know God really loves me... though things may be hard and through the naked eye it may seem like a horrible place to be in, but through my many previous experiences, I know God completes the work He chooses to begin. Sometimes, to fix a patch in garden requires digging every inch of the whole garden. Well, the Chief Constructor or Gardener knows what's best for us.
Believing breakthrough will come soon. Breaking this current vessel so that more can be encompassed. Praying for stronger foundations, purer heart and closer intimacy with the Creator.
Travels
In my travels, I managed to do some amazing things and meet amazing people. Photos speak a thousand words... of my travels blessed from heaven above.
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| Uluru - Ayers Rock. Beautiful shadow cast over the rock. |
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| At the cliff edge of Kings Canyon. |
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| Jack, the camel I rode. 38 years old. |
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| Enjoying the wonder of Uluru. |
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| My trip to Melbourne and short holiday with Mam Da Sao @Mt Dandenong! |
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| Da Ge....! He willingly held this up! |
