Bye Winter 2012.....

Matcha Latte in a POT? um....

There's an excuse for every opportunity to write. Today, I accredit the sole contributor to be this cuppa good, thick, warm... Matcha Latte.... enjoyably making its way down to mark the close end of Winter. Though, frankly speaking, as much as I want to say it's one more day to 'good bye Winter', I can't... because the clock has ticked and I'm already on the last day of Winter 2012.

Finding pride in unleashing this entry, in rebellion to my biological cry for sleep... I thought to sum it up with the end of the 'SWS' condition... which has improved over the many years, coming off from then, to then, to this... and today.

So, over time I've learned to be honest with how I feel, and that did myself some justice. Did SWS affect me this winter? Nope. Was I emo this winter? Yes - but it's not winter related.

So that's a breakthrough....! Anyway, I thought of ending winter 2012 with a nice note, and walk in to embrace Spring... ah, what does spring entail... I don't know. It's gonna be good, cuz my God has promised good to me. 

Random Writings...? Maybe.

"The lone sufferer walks through the wooden hallway with his goals and passions..."

These were the lines that jumped up at me from a book... and has lingered in the theatre of my mind for the past two days. So my random undecipherable writing will begin with something similar.

Her brows were closely knitted together for awhile. The princess broods as though there was no one watching. In a way, there is no one to watch, except for the Prince who knows all her all too well. Slouching into the comfort of her emotions, she begins to unpack and fumble through the books on her shelves. Many books with different titles. Each had a few pages written in them, some had more, some had less. Some had been pushed to the back of the shelf, covered in dust, mould and cobwebs.

She reaches out to the book most recently touched. The writings within carried a heaviness in her heart even as she flipped through the pages. For a moment, she recalls the moments written in the book, long before the books came upon these shelves. Her heart musters confusion as the pages flipped. She thought they were all history. Yes, they were. Skimming through the books, she finds liberation as the awareness of breakthrough entered her thoughts.

The Prince had been writing the book with her. She hadn't been all alone. Things might have been tough, and it felt as though the journey on the sand had only one set of footprints. They weren't hers. They were the Prince's.

Yesterday, the oxidation potential produce tipped again. The sensational reality of such produce does invoke endless thoughts within her mind. The lack of self-understanding does not relay a faster solution to neutralise the produce. It was pretty strong. The dosage tipped the danger indicator, it was causing her difficulty at work.

She marvels at the thought that such produce had the power to affect her. Yet at the same time, the produce helped her realise how much more she needs the Prince to carry her out of her weakness. The Prince gave her a place to hide in the midst of confusion, and told her it wasn't that bad. The Prince reminded her of His Promises to her.

She flips through her writings that marked her year. Inspirational, thought provoking and once again, heart warming. The Prince has got her in His hands. He was not just the Prince, but the King, the Giver of Life.

She closes the book and returns them to the shelf. The recent catalyst of the oxidation produce has made its way into the book. But that's okay. The story is a great one, and a great one to tell one day. She finds herself expediting on the comfort of the catalyst, learning to neutralise the chemical through sober awareness of the catalyst intention. It was best to store chemicals each to their own areas, and with proper risk management and careful implementation of the standard operating procedures, they could enjoy and dwell safely in the research environment. Whatever the research output is, as long as the SOPs are carefully adhered to, it will be safe.

Just before I head to get some rest
I lay down at this place a bit of mess
Thinking of the things I might confess
Now that the light has set in west
Heart has been put once again to the test
Got to guard my heart and wait for the Lord to bless
I was told that good is the enemy of the best
So I'm not going to settle for less
This journey of waiting may feel like a quest
But in the refuge of His wings I nest
and find comfort upon His chest

Time to sign off.... for another long day tomorrow.

Coffee Overdose

I have a great excuse to write now. Been wanting to do this real and proper for a long time... time was the road block. Sleep deprivation was the detour. Caffeine is the freeway.

Reason For Writing Tonight, and Tonight

By the time this post is published it would be Saturday morning. But to me, it's the end of the Friday.... :)

So... Nice Friday spent this evening... it began with a Nespresso coffee tasting at Brisbane City.

A shot of Ristretto. :) I had a Roma too... Verdict? Ristretto, followed by Arpeggio.

Followed by another cuppa at the Three Monkeys Cafe at West End.... The BODYPUMP class I did... has gone to.... waste? Haha..

Switching gears... am listening to Y.E.S 93.3 FM now.. my new hobby. Good way to keep in touch with news back home, and keeping up to date with the latest Chinese songs. Right now, they're playing Yang Chen Ling's (匿名的好友) song. The thing about listening to these songs though.. is that they evoke emotions within me. And songs have a powerful ability to connect memories of the past with the present, and even probably the future.

New Territories

So as previously mentioned, I have engaged new battles and new responsibilities. To think that leadership was an ending point was a mere carnal hope. My struggles in entering leadership has diffused over the months of rediscovering my purpose and security in God. As one might have noticed through my writings since early April, I have been going down an emotional slide and at the same time engraving the walks of a spiritual expansion.

God had to begin to stretch me and lift me up from my zone of comfort. If I was a rodeo bull locked up in a cage with a zealous passion to see the Kingdom advance, then I got to be a bull who is not comfortable in the cage. For a season I've been kicking, but when the battle got tough, I've began to look at sitting down... but then I realise that within this cage is a training ground. The gates will fly open when the Lord of the Harvest says it's time.

My heart's been expanded in loving others.. and embracing situations and people in my life. Whatever God is doing in my life, is good. Some times I'm faced with tough situations, difficult situations... with scenarios where it seems no word can solve... but I've learned how to embrace them, be there and be a human, sometimes a light, in the situation. Whao. Who would have thought I'd be here 5 years ago... or 10 years ago? Some people might say it's an age maturity process. I'd say a bit of that, and lots of God.

So... I'm climbing out the hole, and walking in the Lord's grace.

New Sheep the Lord's Asked Me To Partner With Him For....

Jen Lee, whom God's put in my life to help me re-find my confidence in mentoring. Spending good time with her chickens... :)

Eunice, whom God's put in my life to encourage, stretch and spend good time cafe hunting. :) Hee hee.

Am really thankful to God for them, to grow me as an individual.

Fun and Fun!

We can't have all work and no play. God has both allowed me to labour for His Kingdom and purposes, yet placed around me a wonderful environment to be blessed as well. I'm not taking my surroundings for granted, knowing things and places can be harder. Beyond ministry and work commitments, God has surrounded me with awesome individuals I can share life with.

Arvo High Tea at Mel's place with all the beautiful angels... and Ollie!

Chilling at New Farm Market... my first time there.

Enjoying worship practice, though I was not a part of it.

Great feast after LG one Friday... hehe.

Catch up with different ones from Joseph 4.

Driving trip to Queen Mary Falls.

My relaxing refreshing Sydney Trip.

Mamak Supper! Best roti canai in Australia... so far. :)

Farewell Bryan No Longer Scheduler Hun Tan... Stemford will miss you. Thanks for all the great time spent together...! No more emo ok..

Bryan Tan touched down at Changi Airport and was greeted with a great MOO smile from Geemoo. The first of my Aussie friends to meet Geemoo... hehe.

Living in the blessings but not taking them for granted.

Signing Off

I really want to keep writing. It's so therapeutic.
But I will stop now...

In fact, that reminds me... was chatting with friends tonight, and up came the topic about writing... and I've long forgotten a story I've archived, written and never published, never completed. I won't know yet if I'm ever able to continue writing it.. I've never showed it to anyone as well... But tonight there was a request to read it... hm...

Waiting for the gates to fly open. But now... it's training time!

Waiting on the promises of God.

Remember your word to your servant, for your have given me hope. My comfort in my suffering is this: Your promise preserves my life. The arrogant mock me without restraint, but I do not turn from your law. I remember your ancient laws, O Lord, and I find comfort in them.
Indignation grips me because of the wicked, who have forsaken your law. Your decrees are the theme of my song wherever I lodge. In the night I remember your name, O Lord, and I will keep your law. This has been my practice: I obey your precepts.
- Psalm 119:49-56 (NIV)

I should be sleeping now.

But I can't help writing - seeing the date just a month from my last post. I thought I might leave a few finger prints here tonight.

Life has been getter better since my last entries.
Big whao, to the many victories in battles fought.

It's great to have a praying mum. Hee.. Thank you Mama.
It's great to have praying friends. Thank you friends, all you who prayed.. I may not know who you are, but your rewards are in Heaven!!
It's great... to walk through trials.

Sunita shared in JG Muster last weekend. We all love the outcome of changes, but we don't like change.
We love the newly constructed roads, smooth and wide...
But we hate roadblocks.

It's been a refueling and encouraging season in my life. Not so with my own strength, but with little honest and faith filled responses to God's call.
I said I wasn't called to some things.
But God said, this is what is required this season. Who will do it?
I said, Lord, here I am send me... if you really want.

Then my fears said, who said I could do it? I'm weak at this, and I'm not good enough.
Then the Lord said, I will empower you.
Then my fears said, but you failed back then and it hurt so badly.. do you want to go through all that again?
The Lord said, "Remain in me and you will bear much fruit."
Then there was that struggle... yes.. no... later... yes... no...

Eventually, my heart said - MAI TU LIAO!!
Haha.. which means don't waste anymore time! Just do it!!

Yes, so clap clap as I celebrate my own little success, taking on things I thought I've given up.

Seeing little successes too... as I take a step of faith.

Lots more to come... lots more to rely on God for...
Lots more to learn... to know, that I am only human.

Lots more of uncertainty ahead... but I remind myself to trust in God's faithfulness.
Never will He leave me nor forsake me, even as I walk through misty seasons, I will praise Him. :)

Nite!