I am permitted to say I'm depressed with certain things.
That I am discouraged.
That things don't go well..
And that I've been hurt.

A lot has been put into this... a lot of emotions and effort. My heart has been put into this. But I feel like I'm hitting walls, and getting hurt. My sincere intentions were mistaken. My care has been made invalid.
Yes, I'm permitted to say. But try understanding how I feel.

Oil and water can never mix. Ten good deeds cannot cover up one bad action. Ten loving words cannot cover up one hurting word.

Why am I trying so hard, to end up hurt by man. When I try to love people, they don't see it. I'm always giving in to others, but then I get stepped over. I say my opinion, but it's always over ridden. I open my heart and life and make myself vulnerable, but they hurt and close me up.

That's why I can't put my trust in man anymore. They will all fail me but God wouldn't.

I'll take break, and keep trying. Be myself - be sincere. And be who God has created me to be.

At least through this I've learnt a lot, and looked back to some good old days... And through those good memories, God is now helping me ride on that cloud to take me forward.

I'm only but a human. Be patient with me. Like how Jesus showed me Grace.

Rayson & Shin Yee's Love Story

It's my honour to present Da Ge and Da Sao's Love Story :)



Hee hee... True love waits.
Yes. TRUE love. True LOVE.
WAITS.

It's deep. Very deep, and true.

Hee~ many of us are still floating in the overflow of the wedding love...~~

But as I was going through facebook, I noticed many posts get pushed down as new ones arises. Therefore I thought I'd post up a recent post I wrote on my facebook status.

I realise I can no longer limit myself when I ask God for something. Because my God gives as we so desire. Spiritual Gifts - all of it! Mission field - the nations! That's what Jesus meant when He said to have a Childlike Faith. Put 10 gifts before a child, which one would they pick? Given a choice, they'll take ALL of them!

 
It's been something that God has been speaking to me a lot lately, especially in the last two months, and I've been feeling that challenge and excitement as well. God is indeed amazing. Yes, amazing is how I will describe Him. He never fails to surprise me.

And I've been seeing more victories in my life. Yet, more tests coming. I pray for God's strength in my life, and take each step at a time. And something I desire is victories over my dreams. A person is actually in their weakest and most vulnerable place in their dreams. But God has been using dreams to speak to so many ones.

We see prophecies, and we also see ourselves. One's state of mind is uncontrollable in dream state, and when you find yourself doing things that you don't ever think you'll do when you're awake, reveals a certain part of yourself that you might not have fully surrendered to God. Sometimes in our consiousness and alertness, we know what we are not supposed to do, because we're Christian. But in our dreams, we see our true self, and also find out where we thought we might have been strong, but actually are weak. So it's always good to evaluate our dreams, to know whether it is from God, the devil, or ourselves.

From God, test the prophecies, pray about it. Then trust and have faith that God's promises will come to pass. God is a comforter and encourager.

From the devil, test, identify and bind the enemy, pray and command with authority & victory. The enemy brings fear and doubt. Identify it and rebuke!

From yourself, test the source and find our heart condition, our weaknesses and strengths, and pray for victory and the truth to set us free. Our hearts are deceitful above all things. Let deception neither rule nor hinder our walk in Christ.

God is sovereign and He'll always protect us. Trust God, put on your spiritual armour and pray in the spirit all ocassions, even during your dreams!!

And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests.

- Ephesians 6:18a (NIV)

Have a great God-filled week ahead!

Joined by God's Love

Today was the BIG day for my Da Ge & Da Sao (officially Da Sao now!).

I'm so happy for them. Happy can't even describe how I feel! But you know what I mean!

God has brought two different people from two different countries to Brisbane together.

He sang while she walked down the aisle. And she sang as she walked down as well. The song finishes when she reaches him.. ah, how it so sings of the Songs of Solomon!

Their lives had never been about themselves since they came to know the saving Grace and Love of Jesus. And even in their wedding, I knew there was a special touch from Heaven that came down. It wasn't about themselves. It was about everyone there who came to share this joyous occassion with them. And it was about God, and His hand upon this marriage.

Whao... If I'm not wrong, not a single person who came walked out without a tear in their eye. Tears of joy, touched by the amazing work God has done in their lives, and touched by their genuine love for one another.

May this be a beginning as they embrace this journey together, with God, the 3rd strand in their lives. :)

"...A cord of three strands is not quickly broken."

- Eccl 4:12c

Congratulations, Mr and Mrs Low! Hee hee...

Clap clap clap.... applaud!!!

Peek-a-boo November

Hey everyone, it's November!

Time Flies
Time is just rushing and hitting me in gusts on my cheeks day by day. I was just mentioning to my colleague how amazing it is, and in a month's time I'll be on my little trip back home for 2 weeks!
There's been so much that God has jam-packed into my 2010. And I really felt that extra stretch and test that God's been taking me through. Having said that, there has been also, many breakthroughs. Whao!

Atieno has told me that I didn't need to seek my own ministry. But as I sought God, He would bring my ministry to me. Indeed, God has done so. And through this year, God has revealed more of His purpose for my life, and the little steps that He has been taking me through seemed to fall into the big picture.

1040 DVD

I ordered my 1040 DVD about 4 weeks ago, and it finally arrived early this week - praise God! I thought I should do a little movie screening at my place, but before I could fix a date with anyone, I put the DVD into my laptop, and started to watch it.

It's really powerful, what God is doing in Asia. And it strikes me more in the video, of the hearts of different ones who gave up so much in their lives, knowing that the things on earth (money, fame, career, or even their lives) do not matter when compared to the Kingdom of Heaven.

It touches my heart so much, to know how we can do so much more for those in need. And this video speaks deep into my heart too, because I know how Jin and Van Ness were before they became Christians. Both their testimonies always remind me of how faithful God is.

God's Deep Lesson

Lately, I have been doing some self evaluation and thinking on a recent turnout of events. God had by His Grace enabled me to see things and pray for things, and before all things happened, showed me His way and purpose. In this 2010, the many breakthroughs and things that happened showed me that God is sovereign.

Some things turned out to my naked eye, not good. I look back and think how I could have done better, and I knew there were some things I could have done, and not done. But in the midst of all these reflections, I also hear God telling me not to be too hard on myself. I guess God's been teaching me to be a bit better to myself, because He loves me as well. And I guess I'm still learning to find that balance in life, learning to sit and listen to God more, and learning to sit and be there for those He brings in my way.

The other thing that I have been thinking of is this awesome Church that God has placed me with. Through tears and joy I have journeyed with Hope Church and here I found a loving family who would always be there when I needed them. And I have also learnt to be there for others when they needed me. Even though some of us have moved on to different places that God has called us to, for example differen life groups, I still feel so connected with them. Some times it is not the time spent with one another, but it's just that bond that is so strong and powerful, and the few words exchanged, yet you know you have a place in the heart of one another. That is the power of LOVE from God that unites us together.

I love all the times where we can be real and honest before one another, and talk about the great things that God has been doing in our lives, and also to share about our struggles and difficulties and pray for one another. And even as different ones might be called further away from their ministry, there is this powerful element it seems, that unites us, and though far, we are still connected.

I love this family of God that God has blessed me with. I know many ones are always so busy serving God, and despite the times where all their hard work goes un-noticed, they still continue to love and serve the different life group members. At times, they even get misunderstood for not caring enough or doing enough. But I know they have been doing so much beind the scenes and praying so much more for all of us. God has been good to us, and my prayer is everyone learn to see the GOOD that God has done in our lives. Because God is GOOD! :)

God has been faithful to us, and He has been adding to us. As a church grows, there will be pruning and purification, and the enemy would seek to create more strife between believers. But God is sovereign, and as we choose to walk in the Light, we will not stumble. 

"Walk while you have the light, before darkness overtakes you. The man who walks in the dark does not know where he is going. Put your trust in the light while you have it, so that you may beome sons of light."

- John 12:35b-36 (NIV)

In the third quarter of this year, God has been reminding me so much about John 15. And my prayer is that everyone would receive and embed this chapter strongly in our hearts.

As we embrace positivity, hope and joy in the Lord, obeying and responding to God step by step in faith, we will see the value of God's word in our lives. Let us be TRANSFORMED as we allow God's word to shape and change us to be better people, living that life of FAITH, HOPE and LOVE...! :)

I won't be quoting many Bible verses today, but all that's written above have been what God's been speaking to me about, and affirming me with the different Bible verses in His word.

Hope that changed a Sinner - Transformed into a Soldier of Light

Many years ago, some might admire Van Ness from afar for his position in F4. Another might dislike him for the fame in F4 as well. And one who knew how deep Van Ness was struggling with his fame issues, have thought Van Ness was a gone case and hopeless person, doom for destruction by the terrors of the entertainment industry. But many ones had that Faith, that Hope and that Love for him. So many ones prayed for him, which he may never know. But most importantly, God loved him, and was pursuing him.

My favourite verse in John 10:10 speaks so much, and sums up a major part of my ministry that God has given me.

I know I've posted so many entries about him, from the day he made that decision to be born again till today. But I'm still going to post this one.

Enjoy, and at the end, you'll hear his new song - glorifying God.

Yes, I like it when he sings his English songs.

Peace, and I'll see y'all again!