But I feel God's heartbeat too... He says, "It's hard but you gotta go through it. Remember your prayers?"
"For the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes each one he accepts as his child."
- Heb 12:6 (NLT)
"For the Lord corrects those he loves, just as a father corrects a child in whom he delights."
- Prov 3:12 (NLT)
I've been watching Joyce Meyer's Podcasts almost every night, and this lady has that anointing that just spoke so much into my heart. I'm trying to take baby steps to change parts of me that's unpleasing to God... and as much as I want to try to hard, God has reminded me that it is not by the works of man, but only by the Grace of God that one can be saved. And that in itself, God has used at least 3 ocassions to remind me that it is by His Grace that I am saved!
For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith--and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God-- not by works, so that no one can boast.
- Eph 2:8-9 (NIV)
I very much believe God is trying to do a certain work in me... and in the words of Joyce Meyer:
"... so often we want to live sloppy lives and want to have God come and deliver us. But the truth of the matter is we don't learn anything if He does that. Now God is a miracle working God and I'm certainly not saying He won't do a miracle to get you out of debt, but I will tell you this, and I believe it with all my heart, and that is - if we would do what we can do, God will do what we cannot do. But if we won't do what we can do, then God won't do what we can't do."
At the end of last year, we planned new year resolutions for the year of 2009. And I would say 2009 was not an easy year... I didn't have a heap load of resolutions, but all I had was one thing - and that is to move more in God's Spirit, not by might, nor by strength, but only by His Spirit.
'Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit,' says the LORD Almighty.
- Zechariah 4:6b (NIV)
And the Lord began to do His work in my heart. He first had to refocus my foundations to Him himself, and not man. He did major changes in my life and did what He had to do to get my eyes back on Him. And when He did so, He allowed trials and testings to come my way, and which I have actually stumbled and failed a couple of times... but each time His Grace and Mercy endured me through the journey.
A month ago, I was entering a point of devastation in my spiritual growth... though all seemed great on the outside, I was struggling to press into His Presence. There were just too many distractions in my life.
Someone prophecied over me and a vision she had was that God was laying pieces over pieces to add to the foundations of the structure that He is building within me. This process of laying deeper and stronger foundations was what God was doing in my life. And honestly, the process felt slow and long... and it did cause me to wonder where I was running...
Came another prophecy a day later... where I was seen running very hard in the race... but I was running without knowing direction. And because of that I was feeling exhausted and confused. God was encouraging me to press on and continue to SEEK HIM for a clear direction, a clear finishing line, that when I find it, I will be able to focus all my energies and strive towards the finishing line.
Two weeks later, at Joseph Advance, God used a brother to speak to me regarding my spiritual gifting... and I gained a revelation through that. I always thought that my spiritual gifting could be used in a certain way... but I had been restricting the direction which I was using my spiritual gift... when there could have been another calling...
And on a side note, just yesterday, I did a spiritual gifts assessment and I indeed had an inclination towards that spiritual gift, but the exercising of the gift wasn't in the direction I thought I would have used it. I really thank God for the sequence and confirmations He has been revealing to me in my life. And this is not the end... cuz we prophecy and know in part!
Back tracking to Joseph Advance... a day later at Church, there was a prophecy spoken to me again. And this time I was told that, "It's not the right timing. God has His timing for the things that I desire to see come to pass. I don't need to try so hard on my own, but instead, I should rely on His Spirit and in God's timing, they WILL come to pass. And that I should rise in faith to see these things happen."
Back then when I received the word, I kept it in my sack... I was thinking, "Is God talking about this??? But I'm doing so well in that now! How could it be?"
So I wrote it down... and kept doing what I was doing....
Recently... God has deepened something within me... in these grueling days, God had to go deeper and dig out the residual sins and transgressions within me. He made me realise that all I was really relying on was my human strength. MY OWN STRENGTH and MIGHT.
Where was the faith? Where was my trust? Did I even believe?
"Then Jesus declared, "I am the bread of life. He who comes to me will never go hungry, and he who believes in me will never be thirsty. But as I told you, you have seen me and still you do not believe."
- John 6:35-36 (NIV)
God also impacted me within my heart, with other verses regarding trust, faith and believing.
"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see."
- Heb 11:1 (NIV)
The test of the Lord is difficult when it comes.... the trials are grueling and painful at times... and know what? I didn't make it... I failed the test... and I felt so horrible and condemned. Yet after that, God picked me up from the miry clay, and told me He loves me. He is teaching me and moulding me as a person... He is preparing me for His works... He is preparing me to the promises He has for me.
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
- Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)
"For the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes each one he accepts as his child."
- Heb 12:6 (NLT)
That's right... that's so right..
Today I went to life group with a solemn heart... But I also prayed, that God would lead me out of my fix. That God will give me a new start and strength to stand firm in Him. The devil may have taunted me or tried to lead me away from God... the devil may have tempted me and tried to make me walk towards the hole of sin... the devil may have placed thoughts of condemnation or giving up in my mind, but I have collected all these and threw them back in His face!
"Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you."
- James 4:7 (NIV)
"So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed."
- John 8:36 (NIV)
Know what? God is faithful, forgiving and merciful - and His Grace abounds so deeply and endureth forever!
God spoke to me and I saw - I saw where the past few months had been leading from and to.
Tracing all the way back to my new year resolution, and then prophecies... and my current situation... it seemed like it had all unfolded, not fully, but almost all revealed.
Yes! How could I have missed it? That God was helping me to realise that I had chosen to walk in my own strength all this time? Even at times I claimed so boldly that I wanted to walk by His Spirit, how much time have I spent trying to seek Him and asking Him for an increase in His Spirit in my life?
How many times have I claimed that 'trust God, things will be fine', yet go on and try to resolve issues on my own, jumping ahead of God before He can show me the promises He had for me?
Even in a simple ambition that I had, I had jumped ahead and picked up the reigns of my life again. God had led for awhile, but somehow, I had slowly taken the reigns of my life back in my own hands again. My goals, my dreams and direction in life.... I had sidetracked.
Today's Bible discussion spoke deep in my heart:
"For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."
- Matthew 6:21
"Teach me your way, O LORD, and I will walk in your truth; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name."
- Psalm 86:11
It reminded me of the prophecy made about me few weeks back.... to trust God for the things that I desire to see to come to pass in God's timing. But first now, I should be seeking God's and calling upon Him, and trusting Him!
I don't know why it took me so long to realise what God was doing... or why it took such a long route before I came to this spot. Like what Joyce Meyer said....
"....you could tell me just like that, what God's been dealing with you about. But you haven't done it yet. He's not going to change His Mind. If you're waiting to see if He is going to change His mind, I can tell you, He won't change His mind. I've been around the block a few times, and in the end... .... God will get His way, or you will be very unhappy. ...Mum ain't happy ain't nobody happy? God ain't happy ain't no Christian happy!"
"...I might just push some of you over the edge tonight, where you just kind of say, you know what? I might as well just get this over with and do this God's way, and move on and stop fighting it, because I'm miserable. Get your soul under control!"
That's right... I want to just get on and stop fighting God's way... or else I just won't have that joy and peace that comes from God. I know God has plans to prosper me that works for the good for me if I love Him with all my heart, soul, and mind.
"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."
- Romans 8:28 (NIV)
"Catch for us the foxes, the little foxes that ruin the vineyards, our vineyards that are in bloom."
- Songs of Songs 2:15 (NIV)
Thank God for His Saving Grace and His faithfulness... that I can stand before Him and have a loving relationship with Him. Jesus called His disciples to pray against falling into temptation... but they fell asleep. So many times we are like them disciples... we pray but our flesh weakens us to and cause us to be sleeping Christians, instead of praying Christians.
"Jesus went out as usual to the Mount of Olives, and his disciples followed him. On reaching the place, he said to them, "Pray that you will not fall into temptation." He withdrew about a stone's throw beyond them, knelt down and prayed, "Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done." An angel from heaven appeared to him and strengthened him. And being in anguish, he prayed more earnestly, and his sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground. When he rose from prayer and went back to the disciples, he found them asleep, exhausted from sorrow. "Why are you sleeping?" he asked them. "Get up and pray so that you will not fall into temptation."
- Luke 22:39-46
Not by might, nor by strength, but only by HIS SPIRIT!
I decided to pack my dreams in my bag again... and wait for the day God opens the door for me to do it for Him.... as my desires and focus are fixed back upon God... and my treasures once again placed in the Lord's Kingdom...
I'm going to NZ tomorrow! Yep yep... in about 28 hours, I'll be on the plane! Wee!~ How exciting~!
May this trip be a relaxing and great experience, covered and protected by God and just a great time to escape and spend some time with God. I pray that I'll also deepen my fellowship with Set Yen and really catch up on how she's doing in her walk with God.
Talking about my colleague, Set Yen, if y'all haven't known her... I just wanna praise and thank God that she came to know the Lord just about 2 months ago! Praise God... God answers prayers!!
I remembered the day when I booked the tickets with her... but then God gave me a vision.. and that is, the both of us going there together under God's covering!
Amazing... God is good!!
Alright... Just so I can bid blogger goodnight... and get some rest cuz I still gotta work in the morning (ooh, it's 2:15am now). But yeah... Please pray for me if you have some time... I need to over come and learn what God wants me to learn, most important... is to know God more and more!!! And of course, be so close to God that I can be called 'His Friend'.
Before I end... some photos!
Spring Time in Brisbane - Jacaranda Blossoms
A spring blossoms picnic with my lab:
Michelle, Me, Melissa L, Mel, Set Yen, Fenny and Vicky (oh, Teija's holdin the cam) left to right
WAM Dance Team on Stage
(Some days a spirit will take you and guide you there....)
Afternoon Service Team
My bday Road Trip with Wen Huey and Kwayti Venurs.. to Red Cliffe!
Triple SLURP!
Yummy Oysters! Cheap and Fresh! Slurp..! I had 14 of them... felt like an oyster after that.... but it's GREAT!
Marvelling and seeping within God's Awesome Creation
Nag nag nag ah..?
Can't stop laughing man~~ cuz we almost slipped and fell.
Beautiful bridge that I drove on cuz I missed an exit.... wee!!
Veon's Bday surprise.. she couldn't stop laughing in surprise!!
Welcome to this awesome drama - The Five Weird Sisters
They were a bunch of weirdos.... and nerds...
And they decided... they might begin to transform...
They took of their nerdiness... and began... but that wasn't enough!
Say HELLO to their awesome stunning beauty!
Check out my awesome headstand!
Woops! Gotcha!!
Hope Brisbane Afternoon Service Dinner
Surprise?? One day before my bday.. I had this cake from Tues to Fri for breakfast!!
Kudos! Happy Birthday to me... :)
Thanks everyone for making my 23rd bday so special.... and also, thank God for making my 23rd so special... a special time of realising it's not about ME, but about Him... and that my birthday really isn't anything... so I didn't expect much this year... but it was still such a great blessing to have everyone bless me in so many different ways...!
I was actually extremely surprised to receive so many gifts from everyone... so thankful... then Evelyn told me she thought my love language is gifts. Wahaha.... no oh, my love language isn't gifts! Haha... ok, let me clarify that.
My most prominent expression of love language is gifts... but my receiving love language is not wor... lol...
Wee hee hee....But I'm really greatly blessed and whao!! I can't find my camera adaptor to upload the photos of the different gifts... and there wasn't much photos taken on my bday itself too... but the experience was AWESOME!!
Well, I might upload some nice photos from NZ if I get time... if not... till then!
Thanks so much everyone.. for your prayers and blessings... and just being there for me at all times.... it means a lot! :)
I learnt - the most valuable thing one can give to another is TIME. Because time is something that money can't buy... and something that once you give, you will not get it back. Time, is the best present you can give anyone.
May I encourage everyone to continue to serve the Lord and His people and keep up the sacrificial attitude of giving... and we'll see God's blessings just pour out in our lives.... and there'll be a great reward in Heaven waiting for us!!!
Take care y'all, and God bless!
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