Vulnerability - I'm Appreciating This.

This year is really taking a toll on me before the month of Janurary even touched an end.

But I realised, I have never made as vulnerable as this... I guess the last time I was this vulnerable, was when I was a child... or even, a baby. Of course, as it seems this moment, I am not as vulnerable as a kid.

Looking back, though vulnerable as a kid, I knew my parent's care for me. I had to rely on my parents. I had to trust what they knew what they were doing. I had no control over my life, and what I was going to eat, wear or do.... at least not before I was clearly aware of my surroundings.

And right now, I feel like God's taking me back to that place. That place where I let go of everything, and find Him fully, not knowing of what the future holds, but knowing that there's something good in store. As I can see right now, I know, there's a race that I'm running, a destination I am headed, but how I'm gonna get there, it's still a mystery indeed.

That's what's amazing.

I guess it's quite hard to tell someone to just let go as such. But God is a teacher, guider and comforter, and through Him and His sovereign will, I have found it easy to let go. These days I look back to who I was three years ago, and who I am now... I really find it amazing.

"They say friends are friends forever, if the Lord's the lord of them."

Yes... heaps of my friends and dear ones have left my side over the period of 2 months.... I miss them but I know we're going to meet again, not by my strength, but that God will make it happen. All I know right now is that God had made me vulnerable, and I choose to maintain this heart of vulnerabilty, that I may have the softest heart He can mould... and do unimaginable things...

I find my faith growing into a radical one... already at times I can't fathom it myself, but if I've decide to start this relationship with God, I might as well be real about it.

Whao....

So, Chinese New Year is hitting in a few days. Before that, please pray for the world... and for Queensland. Against the cyclone that's about to hit us... and against the pain and evil that's happening around the world.... pray that many ones will begin to turn to God, cuz clearly He is speaking something to the world now. It's already 2011, let us be urgent. :)

....and there will be the sifting of the hot, cold and lukewarm..

I'm blogging from home, Singapore. Visited the dentist yesterday, did my CNY shopping... and tomorrow, hair cut!
Guess it's all well spent and in good usage.. God's really opening these doors, and every moment of my life isn't wasted.

Anyway, some pictures of what's been going on.... I thought I'd post up, and let it tell its own story.

Hiking at Lamington Nationak Park on Australia Day Holiday - Caves Circuit

Kuziwa and I... I'm so going to miss you... Take care, my homegirl :)

SetYen, Fenny, Kimie, and myself.. taking a rest near the Cave!

Half the gang, before setting out. But see, I'm already clinging on to Kuzi kuzi...

"Don't leave me...!"

Project Passion... farewell for Evelyn. Ah... Looking at this picture... reminds us of the good times, yet the amazing hand of God, cuz right now, we've all moved on but striving hard for God! Believing that we're still going to do great things through Project Passion!

Farewell... Evelyn Meh meh... but now.. Kuzi left me too!

Anyway, the year ahead holds greater things! (not that the things before weren't great..)
But I'm holding on, and letting go... haha... so God can take control.

So... now they're all over the world... clearly, God's hands are moving!

Ok, it's a choppy entry... but I'm logging off now! Hahaha... Happy Chinese New Year friends!

2011 - The Faith Journey

God is painting. The picture is slowly getting clearer.

2011 will be a deep journey of faith. Faith is more than what we know. Faith is totally letting go, and let God be in control, trusting Him no matter what happens.

What is this year for me? I don't know. But I know God is in control.

A shaking off of loose bits that I don't need to take to heaven with me.
A tightening of what matters to God, the filling of oil in my lamps.
A holding on to Him so much tighter than before, because the time is drawer near.
Finding peace and knowing Him, day and night.

To run when necessary, to rest when necessary.
To fight when called, to retreat when commanded.
To let lose of my reigns, and trust that I will not fall off cuz God's holding on to me.

This is 2011 for me.

I'm not preparing for the journey. I'm already on the journey. The Faith Journey.

This call is too big for me. I ask why me?
But it's not me that will fulfil these tasks. It is God in me.

God in me.

Pray with me... pray for me. :)

Covered and Protected through the Unfortunate 2011 Beginnings

Before I had the chance to post up my what 2011 meant for me.... a series of events took their turns in my life.

While I'd like to list them... I thought, never mind. They'll come along... somehow.

First Natural Disaster in my life

The 2011 QLD Flood Disaster appeared on the news in Toowoomba and overnight reached us in Brisbane.
Went to work, had our usual morning coffee together... jumped into the lab to begin work, but before we could really start, a colleague came running in shouting, 'GO HOME NOW! CORONATION DRIVE IS GOING TO FLOOD IN AN HOUR!"

The next hour marked the evacuation of many ones, running home to save their houses where flood waters were already lapping at their door steps. Some others had to rush home to secure their belongings to higher grounds, find a good high ground for their cars... or to evacuate to higher grounds, while some others begin their journey around roads blocked from floodwaters, praying that they will reach home before they get stranded by flood waters.

It was a hectic few hours for Brisbane and their people. The supermarkets were packed to its fullest and non-perishable food and bottled water were being exhausted from their shelves. Supermarket trollies and baskets were almost exhausted and the queues lined all the way to the end of the marts, with people browsing through queue lines.

Overnight, the flood water rose while everyone awaited without knowing exactly what was going to happen... Then over the days... electricity was cut... we waited and hoped for it to come back.. using candles and torches... hoping that our hp batteries won't go flat...

God's Protection and Provision

Through this all, I'm quite thankful with the situation I was in. God had blessed me with a house on a high ground, close to the uni and supermarket. We were safe throughout and right now are even able to help others who are cleaning up their houses, now that the flood waters have subsided a bit more. God also gave me access to electricity through UQ... and even through I had only a little bit of petrol left, God somehow seemed to 'multiply' it for me to drive to the necessary places, to help people and do His work.

Some photos (not in chronological order):

The aftermath of Chais... sad... very sad... :(

The emptied shelves in foodworks..

Brisbane Street in St Lucia

UQ College Road... Algae from lake pushed up by flood waters

Sir Fred Schonell Drive - Nando under water...

Quote from Paul - they will sell chicken soup now?

Then... I unpacked my 'evacuation backpack'... and wonder... if I really had to evacuate.. would I really survive with just these...? Clearly... thank God I didn't need to evacuate... cuz... I think I lack a lot of essentials... and probably packed some weird (fish) stuff in there.. haha.

Now I realise it not about how much I can do... but how much the community can do. I found my friends helping one another.. and even people we don't know. Then also to feed a starving brother...

God's amazing plan

And initially I didn't really like the traffic jam.. but because of that, God enabled me to run a last errand before my dear friend left Brisbane for good... I couldn't stop crying, visiting and saying my goodbyes... and I knew it was God's perfect timing for me to be in that traffic jam, so I could make a last minute right turn and say my goodbyes...

All helping out

Came home and Lee Ying was washing her clothes with Wen. Her stuff were all stained by the river mud as they were submerged in a garage... If not for the unexpected traffic we could be helping her, but it was good to have Wen helping her there...

I guess everyone are doing their part in helping out... whether big or small... or even the simple prayer.. because it all counts. Though I sometimes wish I could do more, but I look at today without regrets... and am extremely thankful to be able to help Elysaa and Wei Ling, and even strangers that I don't know.

Wherever God directs my step.. I will go.
Living not for man, but for God.

The other thing

I guess I won't mention too much about the other few events... But I know God is faithful and will see through all He's begun. I know, faith is believing something you don't yet see... and it's hard when without faith, many ones can grasp hold of everything in their lives so dearly that sometimes find it hard to let go. The uncertainty of futures, and the present... today and tomorrow.

But the God I know... He never ever lets us down. Cuz all that He gives is good... and though what now may seem horrible, when looking back, we saw the path beautifully painted. All that, to give us a hope and a future. He's got plans to prosper us, not to harm us. With faith in God, we give it all up to Him.. let Him drive... ya, when I say let God drive... really, let Him drive. :)

Trust in God. Trust in Jesus. God NEVER fails.

Farewell

Right now... it seems to spell another episode of my life... I'm going to miss you so so so so much.... I can't stop crying... but.. God is good. He's taken you from me again... but we gon make it, wherever we are. I thank God for today... so so much.

Go... double A!

Starting 2011

So I penned down a long entry yesterday. Oh, but that was LAST YEAR. Haha... It's a New Year today!

This year for me, started pretty chilled out. Wen Huey's sisters were here, so we wished each other a happy new year.

I was chilling on the couch watching the Taiwanese drama - 光阴的故事, also known as the 'Story of Time'. Was watching it with my parents while they visited me up here in Brisbane, and since the weather wasn't really great, we pretty much chilled out in the living room with this drama the whole time.

This drama isn't an idol drama, and I'm thankful for that. Sometimes idol dramas are too unrealistic. This drama tells of the lives of peope in a little town/village in the 1960s to 2000s.. and Dad enjoyed watching it, telling of how it was to be living in those times back then!

So yeah... that aside..

I guess I'm taking it easy at the moment before the year really pounces into another series of rushing waves, I thought I'd just chill while I can.

There are already some 'splashes' on my calendar and assignments/appointments already booked and locked in. At this point in time, I can't believe I'm more or less going to be kept pretty occupied till at least May.... Hm... But this year, I'm not going to strive with my own strength... I'm running on 'fuel Holy Spirit'. Yeah.

And right now... I'm on a saving spree... not spending..

But I need to get... a proper camera for filming. :)

The lesson on this 'Journey of Faith' has begun.