The NEXT Chapter of My Life

I have to study for CDS exam tomorrow! Argh... Doctrines A. So I'll come with a short entry... cuz I really have this urge to write before my inspiration runs off.

Today we had the Shekinah Cast Party to commemorate the OC sucessful performance and have an evaluation, and also to have a great gathering!

We had a time where we came together to share how this performance changed our lives and affected our walk with God, and I just wanna share mine once again, to remember God's glory and goodness in my life.

I signed up for the OC performance thinking that God didn't want me to do it. For such upfront ministry might lead to pride and wrong heart attitudes. On the first day of the rehearsal, I actually lost my way and got on the wrong bus, and was late for the rehearsal. Along the journey, I began to think that God didn't want me to join this performance. I thought God was thinking, "If I let her join it, her pride will grow and she will walk away from me."

That moment, I felt myself wrestling with God. I was telling God, "God... I really want to show you my commitment. I really hope to do this... yes, I know my heart attitude may be wrong, but Lord, use this to teach me and help me grow closer to you once again."

After my first rehearsal, I actually made new friends and even people who lived in St Lucia who offered to send me home and organised car pools for rehearsals. That day I actually asked Patrick, "Why do you want to join this ministry?"

He said, "I like dancing and in the Bible shows people who loves God so much that they dance for God. I also want to dance for God."

At that moment, I told God, "Yes Lord. We all know that perfect answer. But Lord, it can be done. And Lord, so please, during the next few weeks of rehearsals to the date of performance, may you help me develop this love for you. This true desire to dance for You and Your Glory."

I just wanna summarise and praise the Lord for answering my prayer. For God has changed my heart attitude through and through, and truly taught me humility, humbling me for His Glory. I believe that sometimes God may put us in situations which we know ourselves that our heart condition is wrong. And at those times, we may think that God doesn't want us to do certain things.

It's hard to fathom how God works sometimes. But what other way to teach a man to overcome problems, than to put him in a situation?

Firstly, God helped me identify my situation and heart condition.
Next, God places a situation in our lives, a problem to overcome. Had I withdrawn from the performance God would not have taught me this valuable lesson. What other way to overcome pride, but to put me in such a situation?
Then God had this party for us, where we all brought revelations and edified one another.

So Lord, this day you have affirmed me. Giving up this ministry was only running away. Lord, I'm not going to give up on this ministry that you have placed me in, a place where I will grow closer to you through the things you will bring me to, and through the gifts you have given me.

God intended for us to be overcomers! Amen!

God taught me this lesson this time. And that doesn't mean I should be complacent to forget this lesson, but to work on it and remember it always, to allow God to bring me to greater heights for His Glory!

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On a side note, this day was different too. I can feel God opening another chapter in my life this day as I stepped out. And even as I am typing this entry, I can remember such a vision in my dream before. It's a feeling of excitement of the new things God is going to bring into my life. And a tinge of sadness of the old times I am still holding on to.

Hearing "How Great Is Our God" on my way home just brought back sweet memories... and I wonder how different live group is going to feel when we next sing this song. I pray God will comfort every single one of us even this day and the days ahead, helping us remember His greater purposes He has in place in every single persons' lives.

This day the Lord has constantly reminded me and brought to me this verse:

"Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him." - James 1:12