Recollections of 2010

As the year move towards its closure in about 4 hours, I'd like to pen down a couple of thoughts about 2010 - A Year of Breakthrough. Indeed, as mentioned in my previous entry, 2010 has been a year of highs and low, but through it all, God's been faithful, and I'm sitting before my laptop, carving out this beautiful journey to remember what God's done.

Early this year

The year began quite abruptly for me. I never really sat down to think and lay down the steps that I wanted to take. I pretty much dashed into 2010 with a fire I didn't really know or understood. I still remember my shepherd, Elysaa, asking me to list and write down my New Year resolutions. So I listed down a few that came off the top of my list - reviving my media production skills, and improving my guitar skills. I can't really remember what else I wrote, cuz clearly, I was so 'interested' that I lost the paper I wrote, and had to re-write a second draft. Haha...

But God had His plans. I knew I had to go into 2010 with something in my hand. Thank God for blogs! I wrote down a whole entry at the beginning of 2010, called, "Hey 2010, Let's Freestyle". Looking at that entry right now, I laugh at who I was before, and who I am now... and I also appreciate the Holy Spirit's work in my life, back then, and now.

Right then, I knew little about what 2010 had. But I had the inclining that it was going to be great, and fun! So there you go, I dashed right in, with that God given fire and passion.... and history began it's making... :)

Came the first Breakthrough

It didn't have to wait till middle of May when I penned down one of the highlights of my walk. Prior to this entry, there were already many little things that God was doing in my life. I won't list all of them down tonight, else, I'd be writing a whole year out..!

The entry, "Going Gear 5 With God", sparked one of God's major faithfulness in my life. Last year, I gave my screenwriting dream to God and stopped writing the story that I've written for years. In return, God showed me His faithfulness and opened up the first door of the media industry to me. I never really thought I'd head into the industry in this direction. Awestruck, God's river of blessing continued to push me through 2010.

October 2010 - I turned 24

Turning 24 meant a lot to me. I began to look beyond myself and for the first time in my life, I engaged the opportunity to be a blessing on my birthday. And in returned, God blessed me even more. I wrote an entry called, "Faithstones", kind of like what I'm doing right now! Some of you might remember the little fundraiser I had for my birthday.

It took a simple step of faith and a little bit more to break past the fears of doing this, but God's been awesome. Because of that, a total of AUD$811 was raised for Compassion Australia! I was extremely touched by everyone's contribution to this drive and am so much more convinced of how I can be a blessing to others. God's blessed me that I'm well clothed and fed, as compared to many ones who aren't. And if you asked if I would do it again if given another chance to choose how I celebrated my 24th birthday, I'd probably do the same thing.

And something I didn't really want to share initially, but thinking about it now, why do we keep the good things hidden? So on my birthday, I've taken a step of faith to sponsor a child with Compassion. It's been something me in my heart for a few years now, but this year, I felt so strongly God saying that it's the right time. So.... He took me through the process of choosing the child, and ask me personally how, but I'm now a 'spiritual mum'! It feels so good... and I know I'm blessed by the child as well.

2010 Facebook Statuses

Facebook was great and so allowed me to do this 'summary of 2010 statuses'. I'm posting it up, because it's awesome, this whole 2010 Journey!

Friends

My covenant sister: Atieno

I take this opportunity to thank Atieno, a dear friend of mine. This faith-filled woman is now back in Kenya, by God's Grace, enjoying both Christmas and the New Year with her dearest ones.

We had many great conversations the whole of this year. Sharing our God given aspirations, inspirations, as well as our deepest struggles. God used our relationship with one another to stir even deeper passions for His purposes, and it is always amazing when we get together and speak the same message that God had been speaking to us over a period of time.

The crazy things we do together.... And the blessings God's given us together, we both know.

My dearest sister and covenant friend... Kenya is not too far, and the world can be small in some ways. We have dreams, and a God who is bigger than our dreams. We'll meet again... like we did again... and will so again. As God open our eyes, He'll give us the Grace to embrace these things..!

To the left, to the right - which we do we go? Yeah... wherever we go, let's remain in the Vine! :)

My chat till daylight sister: Siau Ying

This dear friend of mine, Siau Ying, is another gem in my life. Yes, we have 'romantic' moments. Hahaha... I'm so glad to have met her about a year ago, and now that she's back in KL, and going to Singapore next year, I look back and find that our friendship began last year, but really developed deeper this year, despite the physical distance we had.

I'm going to miss her company here in Brisbane, and the times we chat till late at night and not be tired, but instead, refreshed. The nights we hang out at my place... and the nights in my car outside her place. And those Cha Tea sessions... lalala... the list is short, but the conversations are exponential.

Well, you're going to be a GREAT DOCTOR, and Singapore will treat you well. Haha... through Grace, Mercy and Hope, you're going to do Singapore even better..! You go girl, and like I said, the world... isn't too big for us, cuz we got GOD!

My truth-be-spoken housemate: Wen Huey

I wouldn't be who I am this day if not for my wonderful housemate, Wen Huey. To be real, we have the most direct and honest conversations anyone might think of, and she's not slow to point out character flaws and strengths of mine.

But we've been through so much and I ought to thank God for her being in my life. Through our conversations and endless emails, I've come to know who I am and who I can be in God. And the times we cook for each other (her cooking for me more than me for her, I bake more), we've managed to fill in the gaps for one another's lives.

Making pizzas on my birthday

Through her, I've learnt as well, how to be there for friends. And her integrity and effort to go all out for her friends needs to be praised. I guess I'll never forget how she 'saved my life' when she sped to the airport, during morning peak hour traffic, a couple of weeks ago when I left my passport at home. The times we spent at Cha Time, Green Tea House, Dao Huey and just spending time over noodles and tea, ah... too many.

So, my little message for you is, thanks for being my friend. Though sometimes we are on different pages and opinions, I'm glad that we can still be friends and honest with one another. Learn to be better to yourself! It's great to go all out for friends, but sometimes, certain things are really not your responsibility. Protect yourself, your heart, emotions and physic, and don't over compromise your principles! And... whatever 2011 holds for you, embrace it as it comes along... God is good, and He will be with you. And my prayer still, is that you come to know Jesus as a friend and His love for you.

Cheers to our 2010 and 2011!

And the many more friends

Like to thank my life group members... and also my ex-life group members... who've all been so great and precious in my life. I don't want to list names, lest I forget names. But, you know who you are... and you being in my life and speaking into my life... and letting me speak into your life... or just your crazy company and brotherly/sisterly friendship in my life... you're all precious.

The deeper lessons

This year has been a year where God has broken me emotionally. I walked into the year wanting to learn how to love and serve more. And because I made that prayer, God let me be broken.

God helped me understand Love on a deeper level, by first breaking that outer shell of mine. God helped me face my greatest enemy, myself. And God showed me who He wanted me to be.

To be someone who is real and sincere. Someone who have no pretense. God broke me as a vessel, to reveal the treasure within. He taught me to understand His love for me. He helped me experience His Grace for me. I realise I could no longer make 'promises' to God, because in my weakness I am unable to fulfill them. But where God took me lifted me out of Christianity as a religion.

I used to hold it beside my lips that 'Christianity is a relationship with God, not a religion'. But I held that statement religiously. God didn't need me to make promises about how I was going to live my life. But through this whole year, Grace was what He gave me.

Looking back, my achievements, dreams and breakthroughs this year are encircled by an endless depth of His Grace and Love for me. Many times, I questioned and asked, "Why did God choose me, such a sinner?"

The only answer I could find was His Grace.

Everytime I hurt and suffered, He reminded me of His work at the cross for me. Each time I wanted to give up, He didn't reprimand me, but instead held me in His arms and encouraged me. The times I sinned and blamed myself, He spoke His gentle still voice in my life, reminding me of His Grace, and because He didn't condemn me at all, it broke and touched me so much to understand His love for me. Each time I cried, He collected my tears and carried them, and comforted me.

His love for me made me flee from sin.
His love for me made me cry and pray when I see others in sin.
His love for me helped me come out of that hole when I thought I was meddling too much into His affairs.
His love for me helped me forgive my weaknesses and find hope.
His love for me brought tears to my eyes... why did you choose me?
His love for me lifted me up... and when I was up there, I knew then, it was not by my own strength, but He was the one lifting me up. I wasn't standing, but was on my knees.

Pride had always been my greatest enemy. But God took me down to humility, and taught me what it meant to be humble. Pride arose from my past hurts. And because of that, I tried finding acceptance in the eyes of man. But God took it away, by first revealing to me the hurt I had hidden beneath the covers. My whole life, I've been looking up to man for inspiration, acceptance and courage. But this year, God rescued me once again, and imprinted courage in my life, helping me face my fears, through His word, and many ones around me. And I believe there is a deeper work that still needs to be done in my life... but God will be with me through those thick and thin.

So many things I didn't know, and I thought I knew it all back then. I was such a fool, when I thought I was wise. But this day, my wisdom will not come from myself nor man. Wisdom will come from God, and all I got to do is stop striving, and let God keep speaking to me... as a friend, the way He painted this relationship for me.

2010 indeed, has been a year of breaking but these breaking brought breakthrough. I would never have thought who I was 365 days ago, is I'd be right now. And all these I will boast in the Lord's work in my life.

Really soon, 2011 is coming. I've been writing for about 2 hours now... so it's only 2 hours to 2011. And in about 10 months and 20 days, I'll turn 25 - a quarter of a century.

Right now, I sense 2011 will be another year of breakthrough. But one that requires faith to step forth into. There will be challenges that I've never had... But God's is equipping me with His full armour, and one of the weapons that I have, the shield of faith, He'll train me to use it.

This year, I learnt a lot about Grace, Hope, Mercy and Love.... and I know next year, there is still so much more on that to learn. But on top of that, God will begin to teach me lessons on Faith. God lessons are so special as well! God is a great teacher, and the way He teaches, sometimes can be quite intimidating, but it's fulfilling and exciting. So.... I've signed up for another year! Haha...

God, my Shi Fu! Disciple Xuan is here!

In thanksgiving, I stand in Awe of You. :)

Happy Holidays

Mum and Dad has just left Brisbane a couple of hours ago, and are on their flight right now, back to Singapore.

It's been a great time I've had over the past month, both back home and here in Brisbane. 2010 has been a year of ups and downs. Many 'ups' of breakthrough and awakening in my soul and spirit, and many 'downs' of learning to face the terrors of my characters and my shortcomings, and learning to flourish in the hide God's given me, not flourish behind a shell of 'godliness'.

I'll come into that in my entry, hopefully tomorrow - maybe... the 'recollections of 2010'?

Anyway, 2010 has been great. And deep.

For now, I've finished cleaning my room. And when I say 'clean', I seriously mean, CLEAN. Haha... oooh, it's shining.... and glittering, right now. Went for a run at the gym... and had a nice cool shower, followed my a beautifying rice mask for my tender face... ooh, lala... alright!

So, summing up today's entry so I leave the goodness for tomorrow's long entry... or maybe even 'tonight'? Yeah... Photos!

Mum and Dad's trip to Melbourne/Brisbane to celebrate Christmas and spend good time with me. Here's the only photo we've got with the three of us together.. haha... yummy Italian dinner in Lygon Street during our first night in Melbourne! Mum and Dad loved it! :)

If you ever asked me, what's my favourite food? Here it is... and nothing can beat it. Mum's homemade Teochew Braised Duck. My all time favourite, and the dish I miss the most everytime I'm away from home. Yep, so Mum and I made this duck here in Brisbane... Godsent. :)

My trip back home, and then to Muar (M'sia) to celebrate Grandma's 81 (82 Chinese?) birthday. Hee.. Happy Grandma with all her grandchildren. 1 more in Singapore and 2 in Taiwan.

And then... the epic photo. My closest and same aged cousin whom I grew up together with, together with Mum! Hee... Yes... Mama Chef and the two young 'masterchefs'. Haha...

Well, I guess that's all for now!

Time to head to Sunnybank with WenHuey and her sisters.... for Taiwanese dinner. :) Yum...

Christmas around the Corner

With my travels of late, I've been meeting many people. It's interesting to see how diverse the ways many ones perceive Christmas. To many, it's a festive season for giving, to a few, it's indulging, and to some, a responsibility. To us Christians, Christmas reminds us of the birth of Jesus Christ, who came to bring hope, love and salvation to the world. Without the birth of Jesus, the world would not have known Christmas.

May many ones find hope, faith and love this Christmas. And may many one come to know the true purpose of Christmas - and to find God in their lives.

I've just touched down in Brisbane after my short weekend in Melbourne. Spent some good time with my colleagues at the ASCC Christmas Party, probably the last time for us to see one another before the company winds up. I joined my parents at Melbourne City after that, and had an awesome weekend with them, touring the city, and QV markets... and also just chilling and relaxing in the wonderful apartment we were staying at, with tea, wine, coffee, fresh fruits... etc!

Mum and Dad will be joining me in a few day, so it's great!

I know God is doing something this season. It's December and many are winding down, or summing up the year. But for me, summing up the year had painted a beginning for 2011, and the years to come. God's been so great at speaking, I can't deny He still speaks to His people! Whoever said God doesn't speak to us, that's so not true.

And as God beautifully painted my 2010, He did the same for many ones. The testimonies of people around me, and people I've been following in the media industry, has just been overwhelming. God's speaking to the generation He is calling, and His Spirit is at work, not just in my life and those around me, but also in the people all over the world. And because media has been used by God, we are able to praise God and glorify Him, as we noticed the same revelations and breakthroughs in the lives of totally unrelated people.

The Spirit of God! :)

Well, I'm off to bed! Have a great journey towards Christmas... that's JUST around the Corner. May your Christmas be filled with meaning and Grace.

Greetings from Singapore

So me I'm sitting at my dining table with my laptop before me, yes, that's why I'm blogging.

My short holiday in Singapore is coming to an end. Seemed like I did quite a bit, but also, not a lot. I guess food is always on the agenda, so I had my fill. Two more days, so I believe I'll be fully stuffed by the end of the trip.

Got quite a bit of photos, but am so lazy to upload them right now.

Trip to Muar, Malaysia

Spent 3 days 2 nights in Muar with my family. It was good to be in Muar. Also, it was bitter sweet. Heart warming, and heart breaking. Seeing almost everyone coming back together for Grandma's birthday was great... on the other hand, seeing 3rd aunt and her condition getting worse was heart breaking. It was only less than a year since I last saw her, but she now can't talk nor walk properly. God's heart was breaking for them, seeing the family in this state. And 2nd aunt was also struggling to pull the family together with her own strength. On the other hand, my paternal uncle was also going through some health problems.

There is so much going on and I'm actually humbled to be able to see and appreciate them more than I used to. In the past, going back to Malaysia was just for fun, family and food. But now, there is a deeper meaning. I see a need for God in almost every situation, and every heart there. In the past, the tiniest strife would always seem like a character flaw and cause unhappiness, and fear in the hearts of many around. But as I was there this time round, I just kept feeling God's heart for them, not as a whole, but for every individual. God's heart for uncle, for aunt, for grandma, for her, for him, for the children, for everyone. In my heart, there grew even deeper a holy discontentment.. There would have been so much more joy in the family, if Jesus was present.

I'm praying they come to know God's love and providence in the family... please pray with me, that God will strengthen the weak in my extended family, and pour forth all His Love in their hearts, and comfort them in their own personal lives, every single one of them. Salvation will come to my family, I pray and believe. God's love, joy, peace and grace will overflow in our lives, to their lives, and to those around.

Meeting with buddies

Met Eliza and Eleen at Dempsey.. had a crazy, but refreshing time chilling over exquisite food, talking about our lives, and what God's laid in our hearts this whole year.

Then the next day, Eliza came over to my place. Cooked Mee Hoon Kway for her... haha, her special request, so I made it. Then we watched the 1040 Movie, powerful. And then we went for cake at Raffles City, and then met Andrea for Starbucks coffee till late at night that day. Lots of crazy laughter, and we even got to write our 2011 wishes on a floating ball and got it thrown into the Singapore River! Cool~~! Photos to come.

Next day, we attended Dage and Dasao's wedding lunch reception @ Goodwood Park Hotel. Was a very great reception they had... and through the videos they played (testimony + wedding video), many ones were touched and encouraged.

On Tuesday, spent a great deal of time at Orchard Road, and then met the wushu gang for dinner and dessert after that. Had a great time catching up and doing the crazy stuff (as usual)! Hm.. not photos to come... but VIDEOS to come!

Wednesday night... spent a great time chilling at dage's house, with Dasao and Eliza... and Auntie! Hahaha... so refreshing the talks we had... laughing non stop... and also some deep nice talks... and a powerful 1040 movie screening. :)

Today!

Whao.... went to Vivo to get some of my computer gadgets.... then walked around did some unintentional shopping... And then walk walk walk... someone sprung up on me... mam~~!!! Hahaha... oh, I should have said, 'da sao'~~!!! Hahaha... so funny la... so much of a coincidence as well! Hahaha...

So well, lots more, I guess photos will paint my thousand words in due time.

I'm gonna do a eye mask with my sis now, and then enjoy a nice sleep... I hope I'll enjoy.

These nights, I lay on my bed, and wonder and keep praying. I see the foundations laid.. the extreme holy discontentment... the misconceptions and misunderstandings towards God and His Church... and things people do. I pray everyone will see through Jesus's eyes of Grace in all situations..

God's work in my life in 2010 really helped me to appreciate and understand Grace. And to understand and learn Love.... and also Hope in God, and in the people of God... and even in people without God... or in people who are in God, but have swayed.

Our ministry and walk requires Grace. Grace... can't be taught. Grace can only be experience.

I'm logging off now.

Have a great evening, and coming weekend!

Right now I speak LIFE

For a moment I paused.

Didn't identify where the discouragement was coming from. It had been going for awhile since a month ago. Then Legacy was the turning point. Was sharing in life group how I battled through only by God's amazing Grace. All I wanted to do was remain at the conference and not go back to the world. But reality was there, and the world was where I had to be in, not of.

But each day going back to Legacy, God made Himself present. His Presence made me just want to remain there. I asked God, why can't the world be like this? But God intended for us to take His Presence to the world. So I asked God, how can I live in this world? God told me, live in His Presence. Find acceptance only in Him. My Hope and Salvation is only found in Jesus.

And then He allowed Kuzi to wait for me to drive her home. Having such a housemate is wonderful... to ride to and fro church... God placed her in my car for that purpose, to encourage me, to know that I'm not alone.

And then Sunday was it. God said, 'GO'.  Come to think of it, I'm now reminded of one of my firey passions this year - the Great Commission. "Which part of GO do you not understand?" And to speak of more encouragement, Atieno spoke her word into my life.

God sent Evelyn to speak life into my life on Tuesday. Funny how the tables turned and I didn't need to shepherd her with the lesson I prepared. Somehow I allowed God's Spirit to take control, and He did. She ended up praying for me and even received a vision for me after I prayed for her. God is amazing!

Even more amazing, I was so sick today I had to go home from work. I thought I wouldn't make it for chairing today. My first time chairing in life group (after a training chairing at UDMM 1 year ago). It was only half an hour to life group and I was still stuck in bed, couldn't get up. But somehow Strength came, and I went...

God spoke more than what I prepared for the sharing. He took over... some said I was calm and didn't seem like my first time. The life group responded. God moved...

Whao... read Shin Yee a.k.a Da Sao's blog this morning at work... and just saw how much she missed God... it's amazing. I do have those 'miss God' times as well... and I pray that everyday I will yearn for God so much..

Moses told God:

Then Moses said to him, "If your Presence does not go with us, do not send us up from here. How will anyone know that you are pleased with me and with your people unless you go with us? What else will distinguish me and your people from all the other people on the face of the earth?"

- Ex 33:15-16

Really.. that is my prayer to God. I can't live this life no more without God..

It's not about me. So, discouragement shouldn't set in. Because it's not about me. It's not about whether I bear fruits now, or later... or what people think of me. It's not about me. Remaining in Christ, and yielding fruit in season. Let God decide the season.

He is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever he does prospers.

- Psalm 1:3

It's all about God.

Learning to decrease, so He can increase.

Back to rest. I thank God for today. The wonderful day He had made. :)

"...If His Grace is an ocean... we're all sinking..."

Who will you take with you? The world and all that's in it will pass and fade one day. The world is sinking... but I know I'm sinking in the right place. Instead of struggling and fighting for my own rights, I'll fight for souls, that we may sink all together in His Grace...

There's so much that I can want and fight for... but all that, I'm letting go, and learning to let go...
God, remind me.

...
And that's all for now folks. I wonder if people still drop by. Anyway, I'm going to believe what God said, and keep writing. Back to bed so I can rest this sickness away.

Conference Galore

Last weekend I was in Melbourne for the ASSCR Conference. Many international scientists came and talked about the progression of research and science in the world... and it was great. At one point, there was a huge debat on how Asia is currently leading research, such as, Singapore, Japan and Korea.

Coming back to Brisbane, there was our Legacy Conference... another wonderful weekend I had. I thought I was having post-conference withdrawal symptoms.. It was awesome, Legacy. I've still got heaps of recorded sermons to catch up on... Well, God's been great.

And then just yesterday and today, I was at another conference - Australian Lab Managers Conference at Southbank. It was humbling to be the youngest kid on the block, sitting in a conference packed with lab managers and many experienced professionals in this field. If this was not God's favour, what is? Was good to hear more about Occupational Health and Safety and its new legislations that were going to be put in place.. And somewhere along the way... they praised the Singapore, China, Taiwan and Korean education system - mainly Mathematics and Science. Hmm...

Pondering
Made me wonder a lot after watching the 1040 Movie, about God's work in Asia, and its purpose in being a nation to fulfil the Great Commission. Whao. I haven't really understood God's intent for me in the Science field, and have always questioned why I always felt God tell me to stay in my industry... but maybe the tip of the iceberg has begun to show itself.

Right now

Am feeling kinda sick right now. Throat was itchy yesterday....
Now I'm a little feverish... slight sore throat... and pulses of coughing contractions are making their way to eruption.

Before I go to bed... Praise God, My Encourager!

God's a great encourager. Been feeling quite discourage for about two weeks, but before and during Legacy, God's been encouraging me to take heart, and to drop disappointments and discouragement. I picked up, and let go, picked up and let go. Through Atieno, Evelyn, Kuzi and Yvonne... thanks girls, God's just kept bringing them to shower encouragement upon my spirit.

I'm so encouraged right now... and know God is one who affirms and pursues.

And for the rest of me, He gave me this as a reminder. :)


I watched Coffey grow from 'Trading my Sorrows' to 'All Ye'... and till today, I'm blown away. Please see his testimony:


In my entry on "Going Gear 5 With God", I wrote:

6th May, my Facebook status says: "Faithfulness is the KEY to unlock the doors God has promised He'll lead you to. =) Revelation!"

Faithfulness to God... not just God's goal. :)

Goodnight~ Let me rest up so sickness can't overtake.

Powerful Legacy Conference

The Legacy Conference is finally finished. And as always, after each major conference like that I always go back to the time God showed me a vision of the transfiguration.

Three years ago, in the vision...:

God, I just want to remain here. Can't I? It's so peaceful here.

No, my child, you have to go back.

Why????

And then my good big bro showed me the verses in Luke 9:32-42.

As the men were leaving Jesus, Peter said to him, "Master, it is good for us to be here. Let us put up three shelters--one for you, one for Moses and one for Elijah." (He did not know what he was saying.)

- Luke 9:33

The next day, when they came down from the mountain, a large crowd met him.

- Luke 9:37

Even while the boy was coming, the demon threw him to the ground in a convulsion. But Jesus rebuked the evil[2] spirit, healed the boy and gave him back to his father.

- Luke 9:42

Peter wanted to remain on the mountain top. But Jesus knew He had things to do, and that was to heal the world that God had given Him. Immediately after coming down from the mountain, Jesus continued His Ministry, and healed the boy who was demon possessed.

That's God's calling for us. And conferences really take us up to the mountain top, but then, we come back down, empowered by God Presence. And the greatest part of this that we all got to know, is that we can find that mountain top experience not only from conferences, but also from our daily encounters with God!

God's Presence

We need God's Presence to be in us and to go before us so we win the victory.

Then Moses said to him, "If your Presence does not go with us, do not send us up from here. How will anyone know that you are pleased with me and with your people unless you go with us? What else will distinguish me and your people from all the other people on the face of the earth?"

- Ex 33:15-16

I so need God's Presence in my life... so so need... more of God.

Everyday. Yes, every day. Not only from the conference, not only from Sunday and Friday... or yesterday.

Heidi Baker once said something like, '...many of us are living on the stale bread crumbs of yesterday's Presence (manna), but God wants to give us His fresh Presence everyday..."

Set Apart

This word Holiness is awesome. To be set apart at times we do things the world hates. But I'm praying for the wisdom and His guidance. I've learnt it takes to understand God's way before we can be set apart. Not approaching His Holy Place with what I think is right, but instead to seek God in Spirit and in Truth. The lesson from King David transporting the ark was so powerful.
 
I'm taking it slow, understand God, live for Him in His way.
 
Battles + Prophecies
 
"A warrior."
"Strong foundations being laid."
"To not be discouraged."
"Rejoice and let the Joy of the Lord be my strength."
 
Countless more prophecies.. Many tears of liquid prayers through the conference. I thank God for the opportunity to aid the visuals team with the DVD recording. I spent the whole conference at the back. Praising and worshipping God at the last row with all my heart. There was so many transactions... I was singing, and then I was not... I was crying, was on my knees.. I was questioning... and hurting... and then I was listening... and He lifted me up, and comforted me. Each worship session was powerful, and I was able to be a part of worshipping God in the main hall, at the back... having my own space and time with God, in such a personal space.
 
And then when the session started, I would be at the PA room doing the recording... didn't know pressing a start and stop button could be so challenging as well. Ps Wilson, now I understand how you felt!! No role is minor or less important! It was also humbling to see all the sacrificial hearts of PA and Visuals Crew members working at the back of the hall... and a lot of many other behind the scene activities..
 
Sleep..
 
So the DVD was successfully published after some late nights. So sleep is now tugging at me. Just had Siew Ching's farewell... it was really touching and humbling to see her heart for those around her... makes me reflect on myself and think of how I can do more for those around me... with a heart that is genuinely character transformed by God.
 
God doesn't need us. He wants us.
 
This new foundation that is stronger, firmer and deeper, is going to go deep and break new grounds... it's a painful journey... but God will help me.
 
Let God arise, for our God is a God who saves. I'll let Him take control.
 
So much more I want to write... but now I know why they say God is amazing for us human minds. Because when God comes, He comes like a tsunami, too much for us to handle. So in the same way, God's touch was so deep, I can't piece it all in words, nor in a single blog entry... and a lot of it is still being slowly revealed... and I'm learning to absorb so it doesn't just become words... but instead, let God's touch do a deep character transformation within me.
 

A life. Not a puppet.

To respect, not to misuse.

To treasure, to bless, to pamper, not for self use.

Amazing In-Control God

God is amazing.

In helping me be real to myself, to Him and to the things that I'm going through, He's taught me that I don't have to maintain a form of righteousness in order to try and be someone. And in accepting this, God has also given me courage to follow Him.

When you follow God, you make a decision. Many can be Christians but choose to lead a life away from God. But for me, I don't want to be like that.

Having experience God's real touch in my life, I am accountable to no one, except the saving love from God. I'm not being legalistic about this, or trying to live a life to please man no more. God has been reaching out to me, and helping me come out of this. I'm not quite there yet, and I don't know the day it'll be fully achieved. But that's faith, and trust that God is helping me. Don't ask me why I'm so sure. But I know God is faithful, and He has always proven to be.

Today Pastor Lance spoke at the Legacy Conference. He's targeted and spoke everything that God has been speaking to me about. A life that goes straight to our hearts. Being a real person.

Many people in the world nowadays try to do things because of society pressure, stress or even for their own fame. And as we have come out of the world, we still sometimes hold on to the things that controlled our lives in the past. Acceptance from the society, family or friends.

God's way isn't like that. God's way is very simple. Find acceptance in God. Only finding that place and acceptance in God will we be able to find true security. And when that happens, nothing in the world shakes us anymore.

If all my friends leave me, it wouldn't matter.
If all my friends reject me, it wouldn't matter.
If all my ambition reaches nowhere, it wouldn't matter.
If all my possessions are gone, it wouldn't matter.
Because I'm safe in God's hands, and that matters - because God sees the beginning and the end, and eternity.

Faith, comes down finally to that. That we know we have eternity with God.

The revelation is still building and the picture is just starting to get clearer.

Yes, I am permitted to question, because God isn't afraid of questions.... no legalistic or politically correct Christian answers, just a true life experience of God - that is how one will truly be able to shine for Jesus.

He's just amazing, and I mean every word.

More to come.

I am permitted to say I'm depressed with certain things.
That I am discouraged.
That things don't go well..
And that I've been hurt.

A lot has been put into this... a lot of emotions and effort. My heart has been put into this. But I feel like I'm hitting walls, and getting hurt. My sincere intentions were mistaken. My care has been made invalid.
Yes, I'm permitted to say. But try understanding how I feel.

Oil and water can never mix. Ten good deeds cannot cover up one bad action. Ten loving words cannot cover up one hurting word.

Why am I trying so hard, to end up hurt by man. When I try to love people, they don't see it. I'm always giving in to others, but then I get stepped over. I say my opinion, but it's always over ridden. I open my heart and life and make myself vulnerable, but they hurt and close me up.

That's why I can't put my trust in man anymore. They will all fail me but God wouldn't.

I'll take break, and keep trying. Be myself - be sincere. And be who God has created me to be.

At least through this I've learnt a lot, and looked back to some good old days... And through those good memories, God is now helping me ride on that cloud to take me forward.

I'm only but a human. Be patient with me. Like how Jesus showed me Grace.

Rayson & Shin Yee's Love Story

It's my honour to present Da Ge and Da Sao's Love Story :)



Hee hee... True love waits.
Yes. TRUE love. True LOVE.
WAITS.

It's deep. Very deep, and true.

Hee~ many of us are still floating in the overflow of the wedding love...~~

But as I was going through facebook, I noticed many posts get pushed down as new ones arises. Therefore I thought I'd post up a recent post I wrote on my facebook status.

I realise I can no longer limit myself when I ask God for something. Because my God gives as we so desire. Spiritual Gifts - all of it! Mission field - the nations! That's what Jesus meant when He said to have a Childlike Faith. Put 10 gifts before a child, which one would they pick? Given a choice, they'll take ALL of them!

 
It's been something that God has been speaking to me a lot lately, especially in the last two months, and I've been feeling that challenge and excitement as well. God is indeed amazing. Yes, amazing is how I will describe Him. He never fails to surprise me.

And I've been seeing more victories in my life. Yet, more tests coming. I pray for God's strength in my life, and take each step at a time. And something I desire is victories over my dreams. A person is actually in their weakest and most vulnerable place in their dreams. But God has been using dreams to speak to so many ones.

We see prophecies, and we also see ourselves. One's state of mind is uncontrollable in dream state, and when you find yourself doing things that you don't ever think you'll do when you're awake, reveals a certain part of yourself that you might not have fully surrendered to God. Sometimes in our consiousness and alertness, we know what we are not supposed to do, because we're Christian. But in our dreams, we see our true self, and also find out where we thought we might have been strong, but actually are weak. So it's always good to evaluate our dreams, to know whether it is from God, the devil, or ourselves.

From God, test the prophecies, pray about it. Then trust and have faith that God's promises will come to pass. God is a comforter and encourager.

From the devil, test, identify and bind the enemy, pray and command with authority & victory. The enemy brings fear and doubt. Identify it and rebuke!

From yourself, test the source and find our heart condition, our weaknesses and strengths, and pray for victory and the truth to set us free. Our hearts are deceitful above all things. Let deception neither rule nor hinder our walk in Christ.

God is sovereign and He'll always protect us. Trust God, put on your spiritual armour and pray in the spirit all ocassions, even during your dreams!!

And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests.

- Ephesians 6:18a (NIV)

Have a great God-filled week ahead!

Joined by God's Love

Today was the BIG day for my Da Ge & Da Sao (officially Da Sao now!).

I'm so happy for them. Happy can't even describe how I feel! But you know what I mean!

God has brought two different people from two different countries to Brisbane together.

He sang while she walked down the aisle. And she sang as she walked down as well. The song finishes when she reaches him.. ah, how it so sings of the Songs of Solomon!

Their lives had never been about themselves since they came to know the saving Grace and Love of Jesus. And even in their wedding, I knew there was a special touch from Heaven that came down. It wasn't about themselves. It was about everyone there who came to share this joyous occassion with them. And it was about God, and His hand upon this marriage.

Whao... If I'm not wrong, not a single person who came walked out without a tear in their eye. Tears of joy, touched by the amazing work God has done in their lives, and touched by their genuine love for one another.

May this be a beginning as they embrace this journey together, with God, the 3rd strand in their lives. :)

"...A cord of three strands is not quickly broken."

- Eccl 4:12c

Congratulations, Mr and Mrs Low! Hee hee...

Clap clap clap.... applaud!!!

Peek-a-boo November

Hey everyone, it's November!

Time Flies
Time is just rushing and hitting me in gusts on my cheeks day by day. I was just mentioning to my colleague how amazing it is, and in a month's time I'll be on my little trip back home for 2 weeks!
There's been so much that God has jam-packed into my 2010. And I really felt that extra stretch and test that God's been taking me through. Having said that, there has been also, many breakthroughs. Whao!

Atieno has told me that I didn't need to seek my own ministry. But as I sought God, He would bring my ministry to me. Indeed, God has done so. And through this year, God has revealed more of His purpose for my life, and the little steps that He has been taking me through seemed to fall into the big picture.

1040 DVD

I ordered my 1040 DVD about 4 weeks ago, and it finally arrived early this week - praise God! I thought I should do a little movie screening at my place, but before I could fix a date with anyone, I put the DVD into my laptop, and started to watch it.

It's really powerful, what God is doing in Asia. And it strikes me more in the video, of the hearts of different ones who gave up so much in their lives, knowing that the things on earth (money, fame, career, or even their lives) do not matter when compared to the Kingdom of Heaven.

It touches my heart so much, to know how we can do so much more for those in need. And this video speaks deep into my heart too, because I know how Jin and Van Ness were before they became Christians. Both their testimonies always remind me of how faithful God is.

God's Deep Lesson

Lately, I have been doing some self evaluation and thinking on a recent turnout of events. God had by His Grace enabled me to see things and pray for things, and before all things happened, showed me His way and purpose. In this 2010, the many breakthroughs and things that happened showed me that God is sovereign.

Some things turned out to my naked eye, not good. I look back and think how I could have done better, and I knew there were some things I could have done, and not done. But in the midst of all these reflections, I also hear God telling me not to be too hard on myself. I guess God's been teaching me to be a bit better to myself, because He loves me as well. And I guess I'm still learning to find that balance in life, learning to sit and listen to God more, and learning to sit and be there for those He brings in my way.

The other thing that I have been thinking of is this awesome Church that God has placed me with. Through tears and joy I have journeyed with Hope Church and here I found a loving family who would always be there when I needed them. And I have also learnt to be there for others when they needed me. Even though some of us have moved on to different places that God has called us to, for example differen life groups, I still feel so connected with them. Some times it is not the time spent with one another, but it's just that bond that is so strong and powerful, and the few words exchanged, yet you know you have a place in the heart of one another. That is the power of LOVE from God that unites us together.

I love all the times where we can be real and honest before one another, and talk about the great things that God has been doing in our lives, and also to share about our struggles and difficulties and pray for one another. And even as different ones might be called further away from their ministry, there is this powerful element it seems, that unites us, and though far, we are still connected.

I love this family of God that God has blessed me with. I know many ones are always so busy serving God, and despite the times where all their hard work goes un-noticed, they still continue to love and serve the different life group members. At times, they even get misunderstood for not caring enough or doing enough. But I know they have been doing so much beind the scenes and praying so much more for all of us. God has been good to us, and my prayer is everyone learn to see the GOOD that God has done in our lives. Because God is GOOD! :)

God has been faithful to us, and He has been adding to us. As a church grows, there will be pruning and purification, and the enemy would seek to create more strife between believers. But God is sovereign, and as we choose to walk in the Light, we will not stumble. 

"Walk while you have the light, before darkness overtakes you. The man who walks in the dark does not know where he is going. Put your trust in the light while you have it, so that you may beome sons of light."

- John 12:35b-36 (NIV)

In the third quarter of this year, God has been reminding me so much about John 15. And my prayer is that everyone would receive and embed this chapter strongly in our hearts.

As we embrace positivity, hope and joy in the Lord, obeying and responding to God step by step in faith, we will see the value of God's word in our lives. Let us be TRANSFORMED as we allow God's word to shape and change us to be better people, living that life of FAITH, HOPE and LOVE...! :)

I won't be quoting many Bible verses today, but all that's written above have been what God's been speaking to me about, and affirming me with the different Bible verses in His word.

Hope that changed a Sinner - Transformed into a Soldier of Light

Many years ago, some might admire Van Ness from afar for his position in F4. Another might dislike him for the fame in F4 as well. And one who knew how deep Van Ness was struggling with his fame issues, have thought Van Ness was a gone case and hopeless person, doom for destruction by the terrors of the entertainment industry. But many ones had that Faith, that Hope and that Love for him. So many ones prayed for him, which he may never know. But most importantly, God loved him, and was pursuing him.

My favourite verse in John 10:10 speaks so much, and sums up a major part of my ministry that God has given me.

I know I've posted so many entries about him, from the day he made that decision to be born again till today. But I'm still going to post this one.

Enjoy, and at the end, you'll hear his new song - glorifying God.

Yes, I like it when he sings his English songs.

Peace, and I'll see y'all again!

Faithstones

What's faithstones? It's not milestones. It's faith stones. Because it's like reaching a milestone, but not exactly a mile. Faith is believing something you do not see.. so, I'll call it Faithstones, cuz I can't see the distance. But... read this entry, to see 3 faith stones that God has highlighted in my life, and those around me... and those far-yet-near to me.

Faithstone 1: Heaven Smiled

I had a great opportunity to witness 3 brothers and sisters' water baptism this morning. It felt awesome there to witness that moment that they publicly proclaimed their faith in Jesus. That moment God kinda nudged me in my elbow and that silent approval and peace was there.

I'm so happy for them, and in moments like that, I learn to appreciate the work that God is doing in many individuals. And at times like that, it was just like Heaven came down.

God is raising up a generation of faith filled people who would respond to Him, both with their hearts and hand.

Faithstone 2: I'm 24 and Thank you

So, my 24th birthday just passed. It's been a different year, and a great year that I've learnt a lot about myself and how to treat others. I also learnt compassion, not just in my head, but in my heart. I also learnt to appreciate others, and be real to myself and others. I don't want to name the few names here, but you know who you are, and you have been a great blessing to me by boldly speaking truth and honesty into my life.

I want to thank God for the floodgates of resources that He opened and how He multiplied one small heart intention greatly. I was a little fearful of doing this fundraiser because I was worried a poor response I might get. But God encouraged me to go ahead and just within 3 days, a total of $723.00 was collected for Compassion Australia. And more is to come... I know, cuz some people said they were going to still add in their share, so I'm going to keep it going! Thank you all, who blessed my heart so greatly in blessing children in poverty on my birthday. And if you still like to donate, please go to my fundraiser website here!

This year has just been a year of great spiritual blessing and that infilling from God just overflowed. Instead of waiting for others to throw me a party or surprise, I decided to have just a couple of friends over to enjoy pieces of my home made pizza. It was such a great time - see more photos on my facebook.

And in just giving, God gave me even more on my birthday. Four birthday cakes, love and a huge present. :) A present in a vision. Don't know what it is yet... :) But God has great gifts!

In addition, I want to thank God for the many people around me and my family... all you who know you've played a part in my life, whether big or small, too many to list. Thank you. You're in my heart and prayers, not just around me.

Faithstone 3: The Potter's Faithfulness - His Work to This Day

You know what makes my heart joyful these days? Knowing God's heart and seeing people rising up see God's heart. People who are willing to lay it all down and say, Jesus you pick it up.

This morning I saw Jin's latest post and it once again reminded me about God's faithfulness:

2002: Age 20. Sitting on the top of the world.

2009: Age 27. Trying to change the world..

In conclusion, each strand of hair represents a life lesson I learned throughout the years.

If you read in my past entries about how Jin played a huge influence in me before I (or him) became a Christian, you'll be so amazed by his every step. I love this man, his willingness to humble himself fully and respond to God, not just in words, but in his heart. Go Jin!

Whenever I'm discouraged, God will remind me of the works He did in both Jin and VanNess's lives. Amazing.

To end my entry, so I can go back to do what I was doing (I really had to get this entry out), I'll just post up part 2 of the NOW I CAN short film. Hee.. ok, I'll post up part 1 again in case you forgot! VanNess and Jin, keep GOING4GOD!

Part 1:


Part 2:

Marvelous Monday

People tend to have Monday blues. But I was excited for work today.

I'm learning to take each step in life with God, instead of always thinking about tomorrow.

Yeah, God's made my Monday so awesome.

Spent this evening being a listener and encourager for two different sisters. Whaoed by God of how He multiplied my time, and even helped me to speak forth words in His Spirit.

I walked away both times claiming them victories in Jesus Name!

Couldn't help but sat in my car at 11pm shouting and worship praising God. Too powerful!

So, 2 days to my birthday. But since I made a bold prayer/wish last year, it's been so awesome. This year, my birthday prayer is even more powerful, and God has helped me to appreciate it, and showed it that it's more BLESSED TO GIVE than to receive.

Please see my birthday fundraiser at http://www.everydayhero.com.au/hero_pages/view_posts/shannon24bday :

Looking Out

I'm turning 24 in 2 days! Every year, I'd be receiving many gifts and cards on this day.

I have been thinking doing this for the past year now and was hoping that this year, instead of having my birthday be all about myself, I'd like to do something much more meaningful.

So I was hoping to be bold enough to make this request. Please instead of giving me gifts this year, why not be a part of helping me fund raise for children affected by poverty?

Having reflected on my life in the past 24 years, I have never really been in lack. I've had a great family, a great society upbringing and now a great God who has constantly blessed me both physically and spiritually in my life.

One of my heartbeats have been to be able to pass on these blessings in my life to those in need.

As much as I'd like to be out there in the mission field, I have not yet acquired resources and time to reach out into the community out there. So meanwhile, I'm going to start with the little I have, right here, to make this dream come true.

So my shout out here is happening! Hope you'll give generously to Compassion Australia for the work they are doing for the children living in poverty in many part of the world.

If you'd like, I'm hoping you'd donate $24 since I'm turning 24.. but if not, any amount is still going to make a difference!

A mustard seed is extremely small, but it grows into a HUGE TREE. So your little contribution will be able to bless many more as well. :)

Thank you!



Some questions that I've been tugging at God lately.

Some inklings and burdens God's placed in me lately as well.

Today was a great spiritual transaction.

I did something that I know God is smiling and happy about. Responding.

And I also believe, today unlocked a beginning in another's life, as well as my own life.

Blessed to be able to bless. Blessed to be able to rest and worship in His Presence.

My God, Jesus reigns forever. No doubt.

Claiming the Media for God

I'm on a special journey with God. He's taking me on a magic carpet ride.

In the last 25 days, it has been more than just awesome. God has been showing me visions and even speaking into my heart.

I want to in this moment take some time here and thank both Atieno and Elysaa for being such great spiritual covenant friends and mentors in my life. Getting to know God more and more do bring about some difficulties from the world, but God who has been faithful in pursuing me has sent great angels like them to watch over my life.

The Pathway of Preparation

Over the past year God has been speaking to me more and more about cutting off from secular music. That is also why you realise I don't like to listen to the radio in my car while I drive. I think there is already a lot that the world is speaking to our minds in our day to day life. The last thing we really need are worldy songs that can resoud and stay in our heads for a long time.

The Holy Spirit has just been further convicted in discerning the times and trends arising. Something inside of me wants to be shut off from what the world or hollywood is telling me, but maybe I have not truly been addressing this issue.

Protection from God during times of Training

Today I watched a snippet of an extrememly long documentary that exposes what the enemy has been doing lately. As I was watching it, I felt that there was something not right within. Thank God for protecting me and letting me go to work instead of staying at home. And something in me knew that I had to get Atieno to watch this with me.

God is soverign and amazing. Atieno received a word from the Holy Spirit this morning to stop watching what the media shows. And... so when she came over to my house and watched the video for the first 4 minutes, she decided it was time to stop. The Spirit spoke to her. And then we spoke. And at that point, I knew why the Holy Spirit wanted me to get Atieno to watch this video with me. The thing is, the video talked so much about the enemy and his work, and even showed many things that can be deterimental or make us fearful.

Stop deciphering the enemy's lies

There's no need to know what the enemy is doing. Yes, we know the anti-Christ is coming, and he is mentioned in the Bible. But our role as a Child of Light is to remain in the Vine, be a tree planted by streams of living water, which yields its fruit in SEASON.

Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked or stand in the way of sinners or sit in the seat of mockers. But his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever he does prospers.

- Ps 1:1-3

We need to put on the armour of God, so that we may stand against the schemes of the enemy. Note how the Bible does not say 'determine the schemes of the enemy and use our own wisdom and understanding to fight them'. It says, TAKE YOUR STAND AGAINST, with the FULL AMOUR of God.

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armour of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armour of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled aroud your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.

- Eph 6:10-18

Have we got the belt of truth and the sword of the spirit well buckled and handled? If not, why not focus on that? There's so much more about God that we can know and grow in. We can never know enough of God.

I thank God for His protection in my life, and His protection of my inner being.

The ministry is there, but the ministry has to be an outflow of the wonderful relationship that we have with our magnificent God.

Let's Pray.. for the Saints

I pray for the media industry, and that men and women of God rising into fame will continue to be rooted in Christ and wait for the SEASON to come where God will allow you to bear fruit and prosper, with His strength. Let us not debate about what the enemy is doing, but instead, stand firm in God and take instructions from only our General Commander - God, the Holy Spirit.

Ah... that's all I really wanted to write for now...

I know there's a lot more, but I know God is saying, all that rest, put on hold till the SEASON comes for me to write them.

Have a great weekend guys! Me, I'm going to be on an exciting trip in Sydney with Atieno until Wednesday~~~!!

Let God move as He desires

You know God has been speaking so much in this season. If you realised, I removed my recent entry. For one, I didn't think it was explained clearly enough, so I thought I'd do up another entry on a later date.

But for now, here's the power of what God can do through media.
Hope you take 5 minutes to hear this message.
This has been what God has been speaking to me since early this year, through different people and even in my heart. And now, here's another snippet of the move of the Spirit. The same message, shared all over the world by different ones!



Have a great day!

Hello!

Hey all, I have been missing in action lately.

Some things been going through and I'm just taking some time off with God. Yeah, I'm on this journey with God I can't exactly write in words now... but it's exciting and breath taking, I know something good's gon come out of it.

God's been putting this in my heart lately. In Luke 13:18-21:

Then Jesus asked, "What is the kingdom of God like? What shall I compare it to? It is like a mustard seed, which a man took and planted in his garden. It grew and became a tree, and the birds of the air perched in its branches." Again he asked, "What shall I compare the kingdom of God to? It is like yeast that a woman took and mixed into a large amount of flour until it worked all through the dough."

- Luke 13:18-21 (NIV)

Next up, snippets of God's Faithfulness

Christmas 4 Kids Promo:


Cardboard Testimony Multimedia:

Unpublished WAC promo:


Maybe photos of what I've been up to...

Cooking my Medium Rare Salmon

Making Gula Melaka Kaya

Planting Pak Choy

My first harvest! My first fruits!! :) God thanks to God!! And my mum for those green fingers!

Cooking and eating my 1st harvest! Man, it's extremely sweet and crunchy!

Harvesting 2nd round...!

Eating my 2nd harvest. That was 5 bunches... can you believe how much they shrunk?

Well, that's all for now folks!

If you'd like to pray for me.. please pray this simple prayer for me.

And that is, that I will be able to hear God's voice clearly and accurately, being fully set apart for Him and being able to discern the voices and make wise decisions.