May His Lost Sheep Return

Beautiful 'Double' Rainbow - His Promises Won't Let Go Of His People

2012-01-22T01:49:00.002+10:00

I asked God for a sign. I know He speaks in signs.. and also in a still small voice.
He once told me, to always seek to hear His still small voice, more than I crave signs, 'thunders' or 'lightnings'. He didn't show Himself to Elijah in the storm nor thunders nor winds, etc. He showed Himself in the calm... still small voice.

So, for this thing though, I needed a SIGN. I know I heard, but I needed confirmation.

I asked, for a rainbow. Not just any rainbow... A massive amazing stunning rainbow.

Today, I touched down in Singapore. Nice and hot weather. But then the storm came somehow, some where... I was indoors, I didn't know. But as I was walking towards Yvonne's house, Eliza and I witnessed the beautiful rainbow.

God's Promise to me... again. :)

And my brother saw it in DOUBLE.

Does that mean I was closer to the rainbow? Hehehe... God is good to all who love Him. :) And He loves us more than what we love Him with! :)

Scheduler Ring Tones

2012-01-18T23:32:00.001+10:00

Ok.. let's side track for a moment. For me, and for my 49 Days friends... hehe.

Scheduler's Voice Mail:

"Yo! Wait, wait, wait, wait~
I am not a Grim Reaper, I am a SCHEDULER!
When I don't pick up the phone, please hang up.
I'll call you back later, I'm in the middle of a schedule. Ah!"

Missed calls:

"kang min ho is calling, i said kang min ho is calling!!, kang min ho called!!! 7 missed calls by kang min ho, 5 missed calls by han kang. the traveler who does not want to answer can no longer make phone calls in the area. diriri!!!"

Han Kang is calling:

Subtitles on Youtube

Hurry up! Answer the Call!

Ok... a few laughing moments to cheer me up for tonight.
I'm off to sleep now.

Moments

2012-01-17T21:28:00.000+10:00

I know it when my heart feels pain. I know it when it hurts.
Over the years, I've learned to openly identify pain with my heart. No cover ups.
So I'm coming to terms with my emotions and how my heart feels at times.
Circumstances do play a role in creating one's worst and best emotions at times. But I'm determined not to let them rule over me.
Easy to say as it is. But what else can I do but pray.
I heard His Spirit calling out within me to channel all that strength and frustrations to prayer.
If my heart wrenches. Wrench in prayer.
If I want to cry, cry liquid prayers.
If I don't understand, pray... it helps.
If I don't see no road ahead that seems straight, pray... and take a step of faith... then another step. Just keep walking.
When will the light at the end of the tunnel show?
Why do us humans cringe at the thoughts of how fearful things can be?
I'm merely human. Not all knowing. I'm afraid of waiting. I'm afraid of not having an answer.
But I got my God who knows it all.
And He's telling me, trust me.
He's telling me, lay your burdens down, and look to me.

"And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

- Philippians 4:7 (NIV)

In times like this, thank God for inspiring great songs.

Another song by Michael Jacobs.
Very heart felt and truthful.

He says, "Please listen to the entire song, the first verse is how I was feeling for a long time and I feel that God was pushing me to make this song, so I hope you guys enjoy it! ".

To find out more about the song and what he felt while he wrote it, click the video to go to YouTube. :)

... ... ... ... ...

I have a dream for the media industry. I really do.

2012-01-15T00:15:00.000+10:00

More and more Holy Spirit inspired spoken words.
Here's a great one.

Chinese New Year is around the corner.

I'm praying for my many friends... and family to experience the love, salvation and hope from God this year.

Live, and love.

2012-01-11T22:54:00.000+10:00

The world attempts strategies and formulas in protecting themselves. The greatest love that came down from Heaven, Jesus Christ, did nothing to protect Himself.

He gave.

He prayed.

He hurt.

He loved.

Being answerable to one's own hearts defines a person's life. To live in this complex world with endless strategies and ideologies might spite one to cover up the secrets of their heart. Some secrets are kept to protect. Protecting one self, or protecting another. Love protects. And love opens the door to getting hurt. But rather love, than not. May we never attempt to cover up what we really feel.

Whatever we feel, let's come in total transparency before God who knows the deepest of our hearts. He'll guide us through what we feel, and shine His light in our lives.

Sometimes, when proper words don't seem to come out in prayers anymore, pray in tongues, from the heart, from the Spirit that grieves and groans on our behalf.
And when too tired to even speak, you can cry.
Your tears, will be collected in the loving Father's hands... as liquid prayers.

Live, and love.

Living each day in thanksgiving.
Not a lover of heat, but this summer, I deeply appreciate the faithfulness of God in our lives.
Many complain about these few days of heat. But I know what could be worse.
This year's summer has already been greater than many years.

I won't complain about what I don't have... but I will get all that I can have.
And I will talk less... and pray more, knowing God is mighty in every situation.
Though I may not be able to reach beyond what I can do, I trust God is with us.
How we view God in our lives... will determine how we live our lives. :)

Get Your Weight Up

2012-01-07T17:56:00.000+10:00

I go to the gym regularly. So I know what this song means for me.

Enjoy.

For the original version?

Haha... why, but nowadays, artists are beginning to bring out the truth in real nakedness and honesty.
Yay, I see growth in the way the Gospel is shared.

It really isn't that much anymore about adopting a set of rules to follow and 'be Holy'. But instead, it's a walk of recognising Grace and walking honestly, allowing God to transform us so who we become, is REAL!

Haha.. rap music!
Didn't know God was hotter than rockin' four sweaters! :)

Naked and Not Ashamed by Bishop T.D Jakes

2012-01-06T00:36:00.003+10:00

I intended to wait till I finished the book. But I can't wait. (ah.. so much talking about 'waiting' this year?! haha)

Anyway, it's a good book, and I highly recommend it. Or you can borrow it from me... :)


Naked and not Ashamed - T.D. Jakes

"Be prepared to be challenged by Naked and Not Ashamed as you have never been challenged before! Here Bishop T.D. Jakes calls for believers to strip away all layers of superficiality, religious reasonings, and pious pretendings. We need to be real - to be honest before God and man. Our example, Jesus Christ Himself, ministered and died in total openness before us. How can the hurting around us receive help and healing unless we too are Naked and Not Ashamed?"

I picked up many great, motivating and inspiring truths in the book. Here's one of them that I read just today.

"...Most of the time God delivers us (or is in the process of delivering us) while we maintain a veil of secrecy to protect our reputations and public perceptions. These secular scholars would be appalled if they knew how many of us were in serious trouble when we came to our wit's end and submitted to the redemptive work of the Lord. It was He who delivered us out from under the stress and the strain of our crises. His power forces open the fowler's snare that entrapped the mind. His Word gives us the grace to seize the opportunity to escape and go on with our lives!..."

Ooh... time to read more and go to bed. It's Friday tomorrow already! Not, looking at the time, it's TODAY. The week has kinda flown by... the year is picking up its pace.

One step, two steps... three steps... and we're almost somewhere!

Self Amused + Truth without Photoshop

2012-01-04T20:48:00.001+10:00

Decided to take a cyber stroll, and found myself re-reading my old days.
Me, I started blogging since 2003. For the longest time in my life, I wrote on only one blog/diary. All the way till 2008, I found myself paddling between two blogs - this and the old. In 2009, I totally gave up my previous blog... and began filling the new wine skin.

Looking back at those previous entries totally amused, or should I say, amazed me.
Year 2003, that meant I was sixteen going seventeen.
I wonder how this blog will look in another 10 years' time!
Oh well.

Prayer for a Friend

A couple of things have already made it's mark in 2012 for me. Couple of shocking news for a friend I've been praying for since I knew her. From a distance not too far, nor too near, I watched her make it through a couple of significant life stages in her life. All these while I kept her in my prayers, and watched her go through those stages. And in this season, she undergoes another massive life changing stage for her... one that many wouldn't want to go through. But for me, still far yet near, I can only pray, and await God's hand to heal the situation.

Truth without Photoshop

For awhile, I've been going through a book by Bishop T.D Jakes, "Naked but not Ashamed". A great book filled with truths about being ourselves and embracing our lives, sins and weaknesses, and allowing God, who already knows all about us, to heal us and set us free.
I will tell you more about it when I finish the book. But right now, I'd like to present to you Janette-ikz's earth shattering God anointed poem.. that threads upon similar lines.

The Truth without Photoshop by Janette-ikz.

My prayer & hope awaits many more who would stand up in boldness to be transparent and boast about God's work, healing, grace and strength in our lives.

We don't just live a ritualistic religious life. The truth will set you free, and set others free too.

Let's be transparent, decrease and let God increase in our lives.

:)

Beginning the Wait

2012-01-03T22:04:00.003+10:00

Often, I feel like Jeremiah in the Bible....

Waiting is difficult!

In this age, to wait for the arrival of a public bus, one would probably flash out their i-technology, or S-technology, gadgets and key in a couple of words, play a couple of games... ring a friend, or just check out what's going on in Facebook.

Can I sit still for a moment and quietly wait upon the Lord?
Hear His voice..
Understand, and even more so, experience His love for me?

Waiting isn't easy. Especially when we're talking about waiting - just waiting. No iPhones, no distractions, no looking around... just wait.

I can't change what comes my way. But I can probably learn how to master the art of disciplining myself to wait on the Lord.

I'm not going to look at the flowers before me.. or check what my iPhone or Facebook tells me. I want to keep hold of His Promises for me.. and live in it. And when His Promises arrive, I will know, because He will speak to my heart - a deep assurance that will sustain me and guide my steps.

Pray with me.

When intentions become too hard to understand, she shrinks back to protect her heart.

2012 - Waiting on You

2012-01-02T14:29:00.002+10:00

I asked myself what 2012 entails. Since 2010, I knew I had to go through 2011 to make it to 2012. Needless to say, that sounds bogan isn't it? But before you totally deprecate that statement, I'mma explain why.

2011 was a tough year. In some ways, it was fruitful. Yet at times, the momentum stood placid, aimless... pulling a trawler of excess baggage. I had to let some go, and continue with some. Sifting, you might call it.

But all these while, I've been waiting for the great 2012. Why? Something in my spirit tells me it's gonna be good. But the toll of 2011 lost me some of that hope, yet grew me deeper in faith, knowing what God has for me. All these while, I had plans for 2012. To do this, and to do that... to have this... to have that. To be here... and to be there.

Too much for what one could do in a year. What's gonna happen? To this day, I still don't know how it's going to happen. All I know is, my God, my Lord, my Saviour, my King, my Friend, and my Lover - Jesus, promised good to me... and a lot of those promises, are going to be fulfilled.

2012

What will the year hold? What will I expect and achieve? I have many hopes and dreams... many desires to fulfill. But I have began this year by laying them at the feet of Jesus.

Two thing He's told me about 2012: Promises & Wait.

How amazing is God's covenant with man! Three times in a row He put a rainbow before me.. His promise to Noah, and His promise to me.

I only took a photo of 1 of the 3 rainbows I saw (different times, different days). The other two were captured in the camera of my memory, lenses - my eyes, and my heart.

Many times He spoke, through my heart, through media and through my Pastor - Wait on the Promises of God.

Yesterday, I broke down in the church service again. What God spoke through Pastor Wilson, hit home in my heart. The world may say there are coincidences in this world, but I say it's God. The rainbows, and the same messages... and at the altar call, two people prayed for me. I don't know if they realised, but both spoke what God spoke to me over the past week.

What's my future gonna be like? I really really don't know right now. But again, I know it's something GOOD.

I need miracles, I need breakthroughs... But most of all, I need my eyes fixed upon God.
More than the watchmen wait for the morning, I will wait for You.

2012, I have entered.

I wait for the Lord, my soul waits,

and in his word I put my hope.

My soul waits for the Lord

more than watchmen wait for the morning,

more than watchmen wait for the morning.

- Psalm 130:5-6 (NIV)

Tasting the last bits of 2011

2011-12-31T13:20:00.008+10:00

It's the last day of this grueling year of 2011. I'm seated at my desk, before what we call a 'laptop', with many thoughts. Should I attempt to write an entry in 45 minutes, so I can head off to explore Mt Ommaney Shopping Centre?

Yes, I guess I'll do that. So stay with me.

Dented Start

The year began like many years, with a BANG. A bang can imply what "Ris Low" depicts, "BOOMZ", or "SHINGZ". Maybe, a shingz in some way, maybe a boomz in another. Depends on how you see it.

For me, the year began with Wen Huey and her sisters chilling with me in my living room, watching the Taiwanese TV Drama "Stories of Time". It's funny how to this day, I still think of the drama every now and then. For me, that lodged deep in my heart something... for myself and a bond between Mum and Dad. :)

A week or two later, the Queensland floods hit us. I thank God for His protection upon me, and also for my many brothers and sisters, of whom some missed being in Toowoomba, and was protected from the massive disaster there. A few friends had their houses flooded, many lost their belongings.. a heart wrenching season for many, but at the same time, the community spirit in Queensland grew. We braved through it together.

In that same season, a life shaking experience happened for me. My faith was shaken due to a specific event. My tears ran dry and I didn't know how I could move on in life for awhile... but God held me during those times, and He was faithful in carrying me through... and also gave me hope. I miss my Double A sister. Can't wait till the day we meet again. "...we gon' make it!!"

Well, for me, the beginnings of 2011 painted a direction for me to achieve. And I called it a "Year of Faith". A journey of finding deeper faith in God, and knowing where I stood in this place.

The Year Progressing

The year moved really fast after the slow turmoil of January. I began this great journey of faith, as it seemed, God wasn't too slow to embark me on the process.

In terms of media and ministry, His faithfulness showed up. My brother gave me his DSLR so I could use it for filming. With God's guidance and inspiration, I completed my first film in my lifetime - Unmask. What came even better was my dream-come-true production of preparing a 'Movie Trailer'. That was a breakthrough in my ministry life.

The Unmask Short Film:

Later on in the year, I also attended a Filmaking & Directing course, and made a short film called "What Comes This Way".

Here's a poster I made for it. The film is still in post production... hoping to finish it soon!

Do you see my name in there? Hee hee.. Praise God for the wonderful experience.

Growth Through Uprooting

This year, my security in Christ grew massively. With many of my precious close sisters and brothers moving away from my life, it's like a spiritual uprooting of where I stood. Although physically I wasn't the one uprooted, it felt like my position in life was massively shaken. Who was I and where could I be? Who did I live for, and where was my hope and security? Those were the questions I found myself asking myself time and again. It felt like God was placing a new foundation for me, strengthening the core of my being, and I found myself at the cross many times surrendering it all to God again. At those points, I realised that God was my security, and He would never leave me nor forsake me.

And I thank God, that in the midst of all the shifting, sieving and shaking, I stood firm, and the friends I had, remained in touch. Though far away, deep in our hearts, there remains that connection, and blood of Christ that has bounded us together.

Character Development through Pruning

This year God dealt massively with my character. I had different events rock up in my life - pastoral, ministry, work or even friendship related. Situations that I was too incapable to handle, or peer pressure to do or say the wrong things at times. Or even at times the few encounters of being misunderstood and accused for something I did not do. All part and parcel of what we go through in life. I found myself in rage at times, startled by how angry I could get. I knew I was emotional, but in terms of anger, I never knew how dangerous I could become. Yet it all pointed to one thing, my imperfectness, and where my securities laid. Through these series of events, God indeed embarked me on some painful pruning!

Pruning ain't fun at all! But you know, as a gardener myself, I know that pruning causes more fruit production, and healthier plants. So as the Chief Gardener, God cut off pieces of me that rotted, and snipped of my impurities. He gave me constant health checks and starved some of my bad habits to death. He purified me through the cleansing from His Word, and convicted my actions and speech, and even helped me made right choices regarding the movies I watched and the music I listened to.

Through encouraging friends and honest brothers and sisters, I was constantly slammed with reflective modes and struggles in my action intentions. I thank God for helping me go through what I've done and said at times, and for His endless mercy and grace that fell abundantly over me. I grew in humility, and learnt how to say sorry and sometimes, do the right thing.

Am I perfect yet? No way... but with honesty and nakedness before the Lord, I am able to embrace my weaknesses and bring them before God, who would then help me be transformed by the cleansing power of His Spirit and Word.

To my friends out there who strive to grow in God, don't be afraid to be who you really are. We can't make it through by just doing what seems right, or doing good hypocritically, if we don't have a change in our heart. Allow ourselves to reveal before God who we really are, then He can change and transform us, that we may stand before Him pure and honest, yet covered by His Grace and Love... walking in Grace. :)

Learning to Live

It used to be all about ministry and legalistic routines. But one thing I learnt this year was to learn how to live this life God has given me. His love for me extends to the point where I am allowed to enjoy the beauty of this world He made!

This year, I traveled and chilled lots. One thing on my bucket list - to travel to Ayers Rock. I did it!! And even more so, I climbed the Kings Canyon and conquered the Valley of Winds at Kata Juta. Breath taking experiences... beauty of God and His Creations... My soul was refreshed and my eyes are opened.
I built great friendships through coffee, chilling, hiking.. and just doing things together with many ones.

Thank God for the friends He's put in my life... whao, too much for me to write in just one day. But... again, pictures tell a thousand words. Great places... great friendships. (not in chronological order - just too difficult with blogger.)

Turning 25th

Mum came and spent my 25th birthday with me in Australia. On the day, we went to Tasmania. I had an awesome time... she did too. Pictures, tell a thousand words. :)

I've come to embrace the fact that I'm a quarter of a century years old. To many, it seems like a quarter life crisis. Sometimes I feel like that too. But each time I'm reminded of how God picked me from the falling pit to where I am today.. Five years ago, I touched down in Brisbane, not knowing how much my life would change. Four years ago, God touched my heart and saved me.

Amazing Grace.. how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like me. I once was lost, but now I'm found, was blind but now I see. My chains are gone, I've been set free. My God my Savior, has ransomed me. And like a flood, His mercy rains. Unending love, amazing Grace...

I had almost half a day chatting with a brother recently... laughing at who we were five years ago, and who we've become today. It's just amazing, the transformation power of God and His work. Our God is faithful, though we may not see it at one point in time or another, we know He never stopped working for the good of those who love Him. My life, just in the past 5 years, has already shouted how great God is. I don't know what the next few years would entail, but definitely something good.

And as I walk to the last day of 2011. It's amazing... what God told me four years ago. Tomorrow, I walk once again in close proximity with the Lord, I will wait for you.

It's been definitely a year of Faith for me. And I made it through. Job changes, life changes, ministry changes, friends changes.... many more things to believe for. But God saw me through.. I'm still in Brisbane, working.. and growing. What's next? I'm not sure, but definitely something Good.

So, it's almost 45 minutes. I'm about to end my entry.
I'll be counting down to the start of 2012 tonight... I can't wait.

For my family, I miss you.. May God bless you all greatly... Mum, Dad, Sis and Bro, all my aunties, my uncles... cousins... Grandma... extended relatives that I may have met once or twice in my life time... so many of you, may God bless you, and I pray for the day we can together all worship the Great Almighty God who loves us and blesses us endlessly.

"I will wait for you" + Merry Christmas!

2011-12-25T12:02:00.005+10:00

Merry Christmas y'all!

A day of joy for the world, because Jesus was born to the world, a Saviour and King.

Had lots of party... and food, gave some presents, some good some poor... and dodgy.. *sweet potato*, haha... but well, in the midst of this all, God is the best Gift Giver of all.

---- ---- Merry Christmas ---- ----

"I will wait for you"

Here's another cool video. Talks about "I will wait for you". Speaks the heart of so many ladies nowadays..

Me included. Hee...

Check it out! For all y'all ladies who desire a true companionship.... and for y'all gentlemen... too. :)
Enjoy:

(I put the subtitles in there.. so it makes it easy for y'all to see!)

So much truth.. and fun. :)

Saying "Sorry".

2011-12-20T14:30:00.001+10:00

Us imperfect people always kinda want things our way...
Or when situations happens, immediately victimise ourselves, and make it dramatic.

Maybe, things ain't that bad..
Look beyond ourselves... ah, maybe someone else is the victim in the case.
Love, goes beyond what we feel...

Whatever the case.. I learnt again, to say 'sorry' and put others first... yesterday.

This year, one thing I found in my growth... the ability to say 'sorry', in humility. God teaches more than just once, so we get it.

Another breakthrough. :)

Turn your eyes upon Jesus, look full in His wonderful face.

And the things of the earth will grow strangely dim.

In the light of His Glory and Grace.

Heart Warmers + heart mirrors.

2011-12-18T23:36:00.000+10:00

I chanced upon a nice video... two years apart, and they warmed my heart.

In 2008:

I love the part at 0:49.... so sweet.

In 2010:

Beautiful friendship... and it's so cute.

December finds its way speeding past my life. I woke up to a realisation that this year has gone by like the wind. A difficult gruel start to the year, I reflected upon re-visiting the entries of January and Feb. Whao...

A deepening of my faith..
Strengthening of my security in God..
Finding Jesus as the Lover of my Soul..
Holding on to love without building walls despite getting hurt...

That so reminds me of a testimony I heard today at Church. This girl went through a time of loving a friend who misunderstood her, and even hated her. Through that she persevered at loving her, but time and time again got hurt so badly. Eventually, she managed to keep drawing strength from God in loving her, and not allow walls to be build from the negativity she was receiving all around her.

Beautiful testimony...
That's the kind of love Jesus had... and even more so, extending love to one's enemies... not easy, but do-able, and achievable.

Well, I sit here looking at the time, past bed time again.... a chilly night, and a long weekend I've had... kind of sending a tickle down my nasal pharyngeal canal, I'm falling sick? Ah... please, not!
I've learnt to take care of myself more this year, learning to find both spiritual and physical rest in God this year, loving the body God has given me, and honouring this temple of the Holy Spirit.

So, sleep time it shall be. Probably two echinacea pills might help. Ah, and lots of water.

Kingdom Princess-meter:

A bittersweet heart felt uprising within hearing the update of once whom was close but now far away. Could things have been better? Probably not. An unruly and incommunicable attitude did no help to a situation. Not even so to speak about personal space... the case shall pass and fade away. For now, may the love of God heal hearts... broken and fearful hearts once again.

The next step would be critical. A stage and season right now that seems placid, dry or at times shaky. But the princess sits and rests upon the Kings heart, feasting on the Love that runs so freely.

As for matters of the heart... she decides to put them on the shelf. A decision that requires coupling with actions, which at times creates one of the most difficult tests. Not building walls, but instead guarding her heart within the confines of a secure pair of hands.. the hands of the King, who would choose the time and protector worthy to carry and own it.

No whys, no how... no when. God makes all things beautiful in His time.

Praising God in the Prophetic

2011-12-12T23:45:00.006+10:00

Through my season of "Question & Answers" with God... I've been blessed.
Though I can't see clearly in the mist at times, I know where I'm headed, and learning to trust God with each step.

When I was a young baby Christian, following God was easy. Learning His ways were fresh, and exciting. But finding balance as a Kingdom Warrior, and as a physical citizen of the world, is tough. I used to raise my hands up in the air, and proclaim all that I could do and would do for Jesus.

Somewhere I read once... If we pray to be an eagle, we got to undergo 'eagle training'. Don't pray to be an eagle and choose to live the life of a chicken. Ah.. not easy.

But one thing I know for sure, no matter how tough it gets, I can't let go of Jesus. He's addictive cuz He's good. Talk about drug addicts who may think heroin or smoking trees feel great. I heard my colleague tell me about this Christian she met on the plane last night, a once drug addict, now life turned a 180 degrees because he met God. And now he's helping other drug addicts overcome their addiction, and coming to know God. Whao.

Indeed, Jesus is the best addiction one can have. Haha..

This night I watched a sermon at Mavuno again. Here's my snippet of inspiration I posted on Facebook. Yeah, true enough, it'll get pushed down by newer 'feeds' soon, but what's on my blog is like my journey.

She conceived again, and when she gave birth to a son she said, " This time I will praise the Lord." So she named him Judah. Genesis 29:35a

'The Judah moment' - Leah's position of praise was prophetic because it did not speak into the 'now' but into the 'future'. A moment of praise that God would pick up and turn around your world and circumstances. Regardless of the outcome in the physical, the lesson for me is that I can praise God in the prophetic. God turned the story around for the 'rejected' woman, and Jesus is called the Lion of the Tribe of Judah. - Ps Kyama Mugambi

It's a great encouragement for me... Though I may not clearly see what the future holds exactly, I can choose to praise God for He's promised goodness to me. He will never leave nor forsake me. We won't fully understand God's timing and the way He works, but all I know is He works for the good of those who loves Him.

I could use a punching bag right now

2011-12-11T22:39:00.004+10:00

I want to stay on the mountain top with Jesus, to commune, be healed and filled in His Presence. Away from the world, dangers, hurts and problems, worship and erect an altar at the Transfiguration.

But Jesus said no I can't and told me go back down. His light is still dim in the parts of the world some can't be found. I can't just sit back, cross my arms, chill and look around. Though it's great to have my heart pound when I hear His clear sweet sound.

So I'm back down in this world, at times it feels like I never left. I kinda feel what Jesus went through, maybe just a tenth of it. I can never compare my little hurts to those He went through. And in the midst of this all it's like I know I'm not perfect which makes it harder. It wasn't easy for Jesus who was perfect, spotless and without sin.

And so for me a mere human trying to live out God's ways... in my own humane strength, that's close to destruction. But I walk in His Grace and am strengthened cuz His love for me gives me confidence and courage to take each step. So here I am, imperfect, but willing to try.. learning to be a better me, learning to be a better disciple, discovering who I am, and learning who I should be.

Suddenly, I'm reminded of the deep verses in one of the songs by Jin. I highlight the lines in red that so reflect what I feel this very moment.

I see what’s going on in the world it’s so depressin’
I shouldn’t be though cause hope can help cope with the stressin’
I still can’t help but wonder how things are gonna be
I was once told to be the change I wanna see
it makes perfect sense I’m up for the challenge
now I realize how hard it is to find balance
as a person there’s no calculation
can’t recall the last time I did a self evaluation
in my mind is where I usually find that I promise
to make a change but nows the time to be brutally honest
yeah on a scale of one to ten
before I give myself a score I’d have to think again
all in all take a moment just to pause
instead of just the good I’m tryin’ to focus on my flaws
keep an eye out for any foul play like a referee
at the end of the day just tryin’ to be a better me

Giving up His life for His friends... but they ran away and disowned him. He brought the truth to them.. but they found all ways to accuse Him. He saved and fixed their problems, turning water into wine. Yet they never appreciated Him enough.. He lived up to love those who are broken hearted.. and bridge the gap between the weak and the strong, but one side would always be weary of Him and His intentions.

The widow at the well held her guard from Him.
The Martha who served Him wholeheartedly had something to say against Him when her sister was sitting by His feet.
The disciple that followed Him the whole time but betrayed Him for money.
The other disciple that claimed he would do all for Him, denied Him and pretended he never knew Jesus.
Pontius Pilate who knew He was innocent, but gave Him over to cruxification due to pressure.

Anyway, bottom line... He loved but was left all alone by those He loved. That lonely place is really hard to be in. In a place where you do certain things and people don't understand yet malign you or hurt you even more. A place where as a disciple or follower of Christ, would one consider a privilege to be in. Whatever the case, my Lord went through it. And I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

I'm fighting this rat race. Fighting the good vs evil. Fighting the right vs wrong. Learning to die to myself so that Christ may live through me.

A work in progress.. A journey ahead that sometimes taking another step can be painful. Jesus walked it, and finished the journey.

Will I?

Will we?

Run the race with me friends. Don't leave nobody behind... don't give up. It's hard, but we'll make it through!

Reflections

2011-11-26T23:28:00.000+10:00

How easy it is to be unaware of the creepy crawlies that enter our hearts! It lurks at our doorsteps, gotta be aware. Be not afraid to discover sin in our hearts, rather, be afraid of being oblivious and sinning without knowing.
Identifying our sinful nature allows us to yield to God's Grace and redemption in our lives, and in humility righting the wrongs by obeying His ways and His voice in our lives.

It is like a daily surrender to yield our hearts to God, being alert cuz the enemy prowls around waiting to devour us.

Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.
- 1 Peter 5:8 (NIV)

I've been bitten a couple of times by this roaring lion. But it never takes too long to snap to senses and dash straight in the other direction once realising it, and obeying God's voice.

I can always follow the blame game that Eve did back in the Garden of Eden... "Oh, it's someone else fault... that's why I did this, or that."

We all have a responsibility for our actions...! Can't blame no one else.

So... one more lesson learned to today... What did I learn? To be sensitive to God. To not be easily influenced by the ways of the world and the bitterness around me. To be secure in God. And to be humble to right the wrongs, and commit situations to God.

Alright... now that I feel much better 'penning' this down..

I just want to share a cake I made 2 days ago for Wenhuey's bday. I prayed before I started, because I never made this before... and it's a miracle cuz God showed up, and in the last minute I found out the recipe to do this!!

Winnie the Pooh Oreo Cheese Cake

Yum...

Night.

Vibrant Church Conference Promo Video

2011-11-03T23:09:00.001+10:00

My new piece of work.. done within a very short time.. heaps of time constraints.

God still enabled me to pull through it. Lots of miracle moments, and coordinate lock-ins.

Many watched and asked, "Did you make it Shannon? We can see your style in it."

Now thinking... noticing my 'style', is it good or bad? Hm... does it mean, it's time to upgrade and learn new skills.. yes I guess so.

But then again, Atieno once told me, make something your style and it will be recognised straight away - in a good way.

Whatever the case, God be above all these...

Direction and many other things... I'm praying for......
I really miss home.

Turning a Quarter of a Century

2011-10-29T18:37:00.000+10:00

This was my last two weeks. Mama came and celebrated my 25th birthday with me. We had lots of fun, in Brisbane and Hobart.

I was homesick before she came. Am so refreshed! Missing her already, but I'm still happy for all the good time spent!

Now... I'm back to 'work' again...!

Next time home, Chinese New Year!
Can't wait.

Where from and where to?

2011-10-06T23:31:00.004+10:00

Lately there are so many thoughts in my mind. I feel like time and time again I'm back on the same spot, looking at what I lost, or being so sensitive cuz my security was placed upon humans again. Every time things become better, I feel happy for awhile. But the slightest disappointment from man, can cause me to relive every moment of hurt once again.

I live my life not conceited. I live my life for Jesus. Yet the world loves to find accusations against my intentions. I find myself at a point where I don't seek to explain anymore about the way I do things, or the reason why things happen. I love because I want to. I hurt, because I'm affected. My heart breaks, seeing the carnality of my surroundings and myself taken to a glorious state, instead of the Light of the Lord shining above all.

They say, a person who's heart is sick, tends to soon fall into sickness. Indeed, I've succumb to unknown forces of pressure that has affected me so much, mentally, emotionally, spiritually and even physically. I'm once again down with the flu bug. :( But this time, I have to press on and battle it, because I had heaps of work to do...

Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life. - Proverbs 13:12

I'm praying for hope to arise more within me. Maybe I've lost hope somehow down the road through a turn of events. I have lost sight of the Giver of Hope... the faithfulness of my Giver of Hope. Though I've been broken, and wrestling, God's been so faithful and in His still small voice calls out to me, "I won't let go of you."

I love Him. I love God.

Here's my inspired song... written in this very moment.

Where did these feelings come about
Feels like I'm running the circles route
Head's up in the clouds, inside tryna' doubt
Need navigation and peace to fill me throughout
Where have I come from and where am I heading
These thoughts battle within and it's bothering
me, to find a place where I can feel secure
Knowing deep down inside that my heart needs a cure
for the hurts that's scarred the precious heart of mine
each minute I look away feels like I'm losing time
it's either I keep searching or hitting these road blocks
or seek the Healer Giver who turn the hands of clocks

I know You're calling me to draw closer to you
These events in my life ain't just a coincidence for fools
You want my heart softened so you can use me as a tool
but most of all to have me close to you so I'll be full
no longer seeking left or right or strive to start a fight
with my inner soul desires battling against the light
if I let go and let You drive the wheel of my life
I know I'll be safe, trust you and let go of the strife
to know I'm loved even when I fail to do my best
cuz Your Grace sustains me when I up against the tests
especially when trials and hardships add the load upon my neck
I will lay them down and relieve the load cuz You've got my back

You Are The Reason

2011-09-14T22:35:00.002+10:00

As more and more artists begin to open their spiritual eyes to see the Grace of God in their lives... they begin to churn out music that so reflects God's work in their lives.

Songs written that comes in plain nakedness in acknowledgment of our own carnal nature and our weak ways... and songs that so sings the heart beat of many Christians, the attempt of reaching out to God.

God is so perfect... we aim and strive so much to be like Him... and be Holy, but we eventually realise it's His Grace that sees us through... and faith that we develop as we take small steps in obedience.
Ouch... to see individuals serve God and seek God in their own strength... that really hurts. But on the other hand, seeing individuals understanding that He loves us no matter what, and that we can come to Him anytime, and He would throw His arms around our dirty bodies... that's really touching.

So this song... a new rapper that Jin recommended on his blog... whao, amazing... touched my heart the moment I opened the youtube link.

May this song bless you... (it's not a heavy rap song... really nice and gentle to the ears.. enjoy.)

And so.. I wrote the lyrics out too!!

You are the Reason

Chorus

Teach us to love

Because we are searching for the son

You are the reason

Though our world has come undone

Don’t hide away

You are the reason we are here

We need You with us

And to guide us again without fear, you are the reason…

Verse 1

Everything I am I try to live my life for You

I want to glorify myself so now I’m all confused

Do I need your help, and do I need a saviour

I try to read Your word but I push if off for later

I never try to talk about You but I want Your help

I don’t pray about Your glory I just pray for wealth

I just pray for health, and I just pray for me

But I never really thought about it carefully

I tell myself I’m righteous, I’m on the only path

To make a solid living, but is it worth my past

I never thought that I could take control of things I do

But every time I did it always led me back to You

You feel so far away, I need You close to me

I can’t remember the last time that You spoke with me

I need You here right now, because I need a home

I need a reason for my life because I’m all alone

Verse 2

The reason You were beaten down was because of me

And every time I think about it You’re my company

But every time I say Your name they all make fun of me

Like do I really need Your Presence right in front of me?

I live my life conceded, no room for me and Jesus

Who cares if I succeeded, who cares if I repeated?

It’s not about my life, it’s not about my lines

It’s all about the Saviour, ‘cuz He was crucified

I never thought about it, but You’re my everything

And You will be there when I give my girl her wedding ring

And You will be there when I’m crying every tear I have

And You were with me when they came and took away my dad

You were with me when I moved into this basement

I forot about my past and the pain You just erased it

You’re the only one that I can believe in

And thanks to Your love my life has a reason

Ending

Looking through the eyes of love

You know the world may seem a better place

And yet the moment that you realise

There’s so much pain before your very eyes

Reminder

2011-08-07T23:39:00.003+10:00

Today I was reminded again... of January.

Jan01: Signed up for a Faith 2011 Package with God!
Jan02: I just wanna be the friend who can relate to Jesus, especially in times where it seems like everyone else ain't flipping the pages.
Jan05: Faith lesson began. Troubles but God sent E-Word to me: 'Because God is in control, we have nothing to fear'.Whao..
Jan08: Worshipping God in the morning is so refreshing.. "I'll add unto your portion, but you won't carry it by yourself.. the Spirit will carry it." My role is to remain in Him and walk by the Spirit.

Jan18 - I wrote a blog entry:

2011 will be a deep journey of faith. Faith is more than what we know. Faith is totally letting go, and let God be in control, trusting Him no matter what happens.

What is this year for me? I don't know. But I know God is in control.

A shaking off of loose bits that I don't need to take to heaven with me.
A tightening of what matters to God, the filling of oil in my lamps.
A holding on to Him so much tighter than before, because the time is drawer near.
Finding peace and knowing Him, day and night.

To run when necessary, to rest when necessary.
To fight when called, to retreat when commanded.
To let lose of my reigns, and trust that I will not fall off cuz God's holding on to me.

Right now

I'm facing what seems like a tall and high wall before me. Am I supposed to jump over it?
Remaining stagnant for the moment, and re-thinking.
If this was a journey and I've been going from somewhere to a destination, then that means I have not really been moving for the past 1 week.
And so what have I been doing? Re-thinking.
And in my re-thinking, I found once again the reason why I'm on this journey.
Feels like, a check point to refuel and re-think. Probably erect an altar and worship the Lord here.
This tall wall ahead of me, only the Lord can help cross.

My desires laid bare. My weakness revealed.
His grace fills. His strength empowers.

The head vs heart knowledge, and the faith and deeds struggle.

I give my all to You

Send me and I will go for You

To the ends of the earth

I'll follow after You

I want the world to know

Your love endures forever

Tell me and I will obey

This is far greater than sacrifice

Trusting You and not myself

Will always lead to blessing

Lord have your way in me

Not my will Yours be done

Here I stand within Your Presence longing for Your touch

A thousand days cannot compare to one day in Your courts

Hold me now and never ever let me go

My Jesus, my precious Saviour

I'm forever Yours

This song... reminded me about the heart I offered to Jesus about 3 and half years ago. Have I regretted it?
Thinking through... no. This is my life and the way I have decided to live my life.

I had a vision of what Heaven was going to be like... what the new Earth was going to be like when Jesus returns and makes everything right.

What suffering right now, will be made perfect in His time.

But there are things I'm praying for that will be loosen, and things that will be bound right now, so it will be in Heaven too.

The journey continues...

Refreshed

2011-07-23T01:26:00.001+10:00

Had a physically exhausting week.. but a spiritually refreshing week.

Drawing closer to God... gaining new perspective in life.
Hearing from my homegirl Atieno..
Catching up with Yen Mii who's in a similar walk with me..

Being more fertile for God's word..

Visited Hillsongs Brisbane today (Friday).

Very blessed.. Yet also, my heart is dug deeper... my convictions grow...

As I parked my car in the driveway... I turned my engine off and buried my head in my hands - smacked upon the steering wheel... once again baring my heart with this heart cry once again:

Heal my heart and make it clean

Open up my eyes to the things unseen

Show me how to love like You have loved me..

Break my heart for what breaks Yours

Everything I am for Your Kingdom's cause

As I walk from earth into eternity

Season Update + Travels

2011-07-14T00:08:00.000+10:00

Season Update?

This season has not been easy at all..

In the midst of many happenings, God's been moulding my heart towards Him.. and righting the wrongs within. I do question why I'm in this place - but I know that God is working for my good. No pruning process is fun... but this process is bittersweet.

Tears have fallen as liquid prayers more than I can hold back..
Questions hitting heavens as I press on in prayer.

I feel like running away, to a land where no one knows me. But running away isn't going to solve any root issues. I asked, can I just be a normal member in another church? The answer is, yes - maybe for half a year or so... but I realise I won't be, for eventually my heart will respond to God once again.

I've been told from the beginning.. the promises, the visions and the hardships to come. Yet, it's a rewarding process, filled with breakthroughs one after another. Right now, wrung as dry as can be, I find myself again at a place of brokenness and of a contrite heart. Not the best place to be in... but here, my eyes returned fix unto God.

The ultimate fulfillment one can have in life, at least to speak for myself, is to be in a close knitted relationship with God. But so many self-willed desires draws us from Him. And my prayer each day is to be closer...

They say the prayers we prayed yesterday makes us who we are today. To be honest, I now quiver at the thought of telling God 'here I am, send me'. But... the physical cannot restrain the spirit within. This pruning process will see a victory soon.

The Lord told me this year will be a Journey of Faith. Indeed it has been. But not one that moves mountains. But one that develops the seeds of faith - to love, to sacrifice, to trust, to endure, to believe, to obey, to look foolish, to be hurt, to be misunderstood, to be isolated, to lose a friend and to lay my burdens down.

That all these may require faith, that in His right timing, God will raise what was lost back again, heal broken relationships, vindicate, reinstate and pour forth His blessings... in His time.

And even in the event that I might not see certain things come to pass, I will still persevere, in knowing that I am looking forward to a country not of this world.

"All these people were still living by faith when they died. They did not receive the things promised; they only saw them and welcomed them from a distance. And they admitted that they were aliens and strangers on earth. People who say such things show that they are looking for a country of their own. If they had been thinking fo the country they had left, they would have opportunity to return. Instead, they were longing for a better country - a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared a city for them." - Hebrews 11:13-16 (NIV)

A broken and contrite heart He does not despise. Through this I know God really loves me... though things may be hard and through the naked eye it may seem like a horrible place to be in, but through my many previous experiences, I know God completes the work He chooses to begin. Sometimes, to fix a patch in garden requires digging every inch of the whole garden. Well, the Chief Constructor or Gardener knows what's best for us.

Believing breakthrough will come soon. Breaking this current vessel so that more can be encompassed. Praying for stronger foundations, purer heart and closer intimacy with the Creator.

Travels

In my travels, I managed to do some amazing things and meet amazing people. Photos speak a thousand words... of my travels blessed from heaven above.

Uluru - Ayers Rock. Beautiful shadow cast over the rock.

At the cliff edge of Kings Canyon.

Jack, the camel I rode. 38 years old.

Enjoying the wonder of Uluru.

My trip to Melbourne and short holiday with Mam Da Sao @Mt Dandenong!

Da Ge....! He willingly held this up!

My One Desire

2011-06-21T22:47:00.000+10:00

In the midst of the chaos, I called and the Lord answered. And deep within, something moved. This song - I thank the Lord. May this be my heart cry.

One Desire

You gave it all for me
My soul desire, my everything
All I am is devoted to You
How could I fail to see
You are the love that rescued me
And all I am is devoted to You

And oh, how could I not be moved
Lord here with You
So have Your way in me
Cause Lord there is just one thing
And that I will seek

This is my cry, My one desire
Just to be where You are Lord
Now and forever
It's more than a song, it's my one desire
Just to be with You, to be with You, Jesus

Inspirational

2011-06-17T16:41:00.005+10:00

King David wrote some of the best music and poems in tough times.

Looking back at my facebook statuses, I'm amazed by what I churned out over the past few days. Indeed it has been a quick week that has flown by. Some times, it feels like gear 1, but at times gear 5. I'm getting the momentum of this ride with God now... but I'm still learning more. This magic carpet ride with God is getting more and more exciting!

But anyway... just for memory and keepsake, I've decided to just copy and paste my past two facebook status updates here. Cuz... to be honest, I think they're pretty cool and inspirational...! :)

16th June, midnight:
Preservering yet it feels like Gethsemane... Sheer vulnerability. A scapegoat, doormat, broken and poured out, hurt and misunderstood. Did the King mean to love sacrificially? Yet being hurt in the process. He understood, went through and now comforts because He understands...

17th June, midnight:
The guns fired and She finally realised. It's not an illusion but She did fire in accuracy and precision. The King was not delayed in fulfilling the promise. She saw the clouds dissipate, and clarity revealed. Now She pivots and makes a directional change. Her eyes and heart are on the field, where the King is calling Her to. As for the rest, She trusts and know the King has His time. :)

I've booked my flights to Melbourne, and then to Uluru. 10 days of holidays after my last day at work. Time to rewind, relax and find inspiration.

My personal short term ministry faith goals for the next half of 2011:

1) Purchase a good condenser microphone, pistol grip, and boom pole.
2) Improve after effects video animation skills
3) Make 2 short films/documentaries.

As the Lord guides... :)

The clouds are dissipating slowly..

2011-06-17T00:18:00.000+10:00

It's 12am! Today is my beloved cousin's bday. We're the same age and she's hit a quarter her life! Happy birthday Ah Ying! I'll join you in a quarter soon.. haha.

On a side note...

I'm beginning to see more and receive confirmation through a series of events that occurred.

Last month, a prophetic word was given onto me in 2 parts.
The first part had been coming true so many times, and I've been astonished and amazed at what God is doing. Yet on the sidenote, the second part instructed focus and waiting on God's timing.

Last week, the prophetic word continued with a part 3 and 4, and I'm surprised. There's beginning to be so much clarity now... I thought the word would just end with 1 and 2, but I'm now quite excited to see what is coming forth.

At least, I refuse now to waddle in self-pity, but instead to claim the victory and promises God has for me... the moaning and groaning and whinging can go.. I've given the enemy too much attention. Things happened and it does hurt me. But now I begin to see the picture being painted, and know that God who has spoken this into motion beforehand will carry it unto completion.

I thank God for the friends who has stood by and understood through this season. It's not exactly been easy, but God has put the wise around me to guide me.

So today I decided to do something really therapeutic.. cooking my favourite Teochew braised duck. This Teochew braised duck means a lot to me.. the recipe and the significance in my life. Anyone in my family who thinks of my favourite food will link it to this duck.. and it's never the same bought from outside. The best will always be mum's duck, and grandma's duck. :) Hope I master this duck well... and pass it on to my future generations too!!!

Anyway.. here's the duck. Enjoy... looking! haha.... goodnight!

Looking towards Heaven

2011-06-15T23:41:00.002+10:00

The more I care... the more I get hurt.

The some things I might do, if I could turn back the hands of time.

Choose not to say something that I shouldn't say.
Say something I should have said.
Stay out of a specific matter.
Be there for somebody.
Be wiser with my words.
Be more of a giver than receiver.
Be more supportive than discouraging.
Be somewhere else at a specific time.

But if the hands of time turned back, I would still have made the same mistakes, and done the same thing.

I don't know the future and may not always take the best action, or say the best thing. I'm trying to be better but at times it seems to go the other way. I try to go the extra mile for a friend, but fail to be a good friend at the end. I try to see the need, but overlook the pressing need. I try to be a blessing to another, but hurt another in the process. I try to be giving, but in turn became selfish. I try to say the right words, but in turn hurt someone. I try to do something, but in turn was classified a meddler. I try to pursue my dreams, but in turn compromise being there to support a friend's dream.

So many things I try, to make the world a better place. But I've carried a huge load upon myself, and it's weighing me down. I am trying, but am still an imperfect person, slowly improving and become a better person God wants me to be.

I want to be a blessing.
But at times I feel crushed.

The Bible says - we're hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.

Yes, it's not the easiest thing to live for Christ. A friend shared reccently about her experience about being 'nice' after knowing Christ. I personally understand from my own walk as well.

In the past, being there for a friend, being nice, seemed to be a 'good deed' effort... and it seemed so easy to be a nice person. But ever since God began His work in my heart to love from the heart, and love with His grace and love... not to judge but to love... and to give without expecting in return, it all changed for me.

I find myself now constantly in a vulnerable place. Loving from my heart, and trying still, to be there for those whom I care for. But loving from the heart means opening myself up to deeper vulnerability. To expect being hurt by people's responses becomes a normal thing.

I find myself lowering to a deeper humility, to say 'sorry', or go out and do something and not get a response I want. But a friend taught me recently, if you are learning to give, then give without expecting in return. Easy theory I have known for a while... but never did I know, that includes expecting some reaction from the receiver.

God is moulding my character.

I'm sorry to everyone whom I might have hurt along the way as God moulds me. I'm sorry if I've been selfish and prideful. But please don't judge me based on yesterday, today, or tomorrow. God is a God of second chances... and each time I'm given another chance, I hope I did better.

I'm trying to be better, not just cuz I want to please people... to be honest, the reason is cuz the world is already a hard enough place, and I just want to be a blessing. I hate strife, and really love it when people around me are just united and happy. And the other reason - God has not given up on me despite my weaknesses, and He still loves me. So I'm not taking His love for me for granted... but I really wanna be a better person for God, a better ambassador for God.

Jesus loved us and died for us... and back then, He died a lonely and painful death... and the people hated Him, and it must have been really hard, to be killed and hated and wronged by the people you love.

I prayed that I can understand God's heart beat. And He allowed many things to happen in my life. And through these, I understand how much I can love someone, yet be hurt and wronged, yet persevering in the love that Jesus command us to. Of course, the love I give is no where near the perfect love that Jesus gives.

So in trying to love, I've been hurt again. But, each time I'll become stronger, for the treasure is building up in this jar of clay, and that's me.

"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."

2 Corinthians 4:16-18

In a developed country, people have every thing. But yet the hole in our hearts crave and yearn the filling of what only God can give. The true security and acceptance. I need that.

I look to my brothers and sisters in the developing or third world countries. They may not have every material possession they need or want, but the smile on their face each time they praise and worship God, and their living testimonies about how great God is in their lives, thoroughly reflects their security in God, the Provider of their lives.

No doubt, a lot of my problems and emotions are caused by my insecurities. And I'm praying that I may only allow God to fill that space in my heart. Pray with me friends... thank you.

Business Unusual

2011-06-11T13:31:00.000+10:00

40:00min onwards for the sermon. Deep message - watch if you can - you won't regret.

05 Business Unusual (Wired For Greatness) from Mavuno Church on Vimeo.

Starting small

2011-06-11T11:28:00.002+10:00

Freddie short films always cheer me up. And here's what he's got to say.

Just a quick snippet for the day! :)

Underage Short Film

2011-06-11T01:03:00.001+10:00

I sometimes wallow in self-pity and over-magnify my own minute state of life... yet forgetting my security is found in Christ. And in times like this... God does bring me gentle reminders. And at the same time, encourage me through His faithfulness, that I have a friend like Him. This season hasn't been most easy, neither has it been too difficult. But all things work for God and He uses all things.

I've been sick at home for the past 3 days... hasn't been an easy 3 days as well. See.. I had to be near a toilet all the time. Haha... But I thank God for rest, and even friends who rang up and drove me to the clinic.It's been a good time for me to reflect on my life as well.. hard not to, when I'm facing four walls in my room daily. And to let God search my heart..

At the same time, I've seen some amazing but heart wrenching short films (some on my facebook now cuz I can't link it here)... The world needs to see more of these films... it is the truth... why are we magnifying celebrity gossip news, or news about things that people just sit back and go, "oh, that again? ah, that's stupid." But things that happens daily in the world that nobody really sees... and when we screen them on TV, people go "so sad... but they just do this to ask us to donate".

I don't know about you but these films don't just make me want to donate, but make me want to be OUT THERE, fulfilling a purpose greater than myself. Living a life more than just for myself. I'm not noble and true I can't step out this day... but film and media - that's the avenue I have at the moment... I want the world to see it. And see it, so there hearts will say, "Here I am Lord, send me." This work cannot be done alone. The body of Christ needs to unite and do it together, each fulfilling their role.

Hurray!! Victory!!!

2011-06-05T23:10:00.000+10:00

I am very happy girl today. It's a joyous occasion. Something I've been praying for more than 4 years now has happened. God is faithful.

And other things... are making me happy and joyful as well.

2 job offers... 1 more to come? Crossroad number 2, but I'm praying for clarity.

Ps Wenan said they were all praying for me. It's so encouraging... I'm really thankful, and see God's favour.

Went for a jog this morning, and felt a strong uncomfortably plus depressive blow strike at me from the enemy. When things are going well, the enemy tries to destroy and steal. I kept praying and praying... and stood firmly and held strong unto God. To be honest, it wasn't easy but I prayed and praised God as I ran... soon the enemy left.

In the midst of many battles, both mine and my friends, I see lots of victories happening too... in two of my sheep's lives... in my leaders' lives... in my fellow sisters' and brothers' lives.. The enemy's been defeated, death couldn't hold Jesus down. Friends, know who we stand in the Lord, and keep praying! Prayer is partnership with God to partake in Victory!! Yeah, I'm waving the flag of victory....!

And it's amazing, I randomly clicked on one of the sermons at Mavuno today. It's not a very recent sermon but out of the many sermons on the site, I just clicked this one. And it apparently talked about the MEDIA AND ENTERTAINMENT industry! How clear can God strike His vision for me when He really wants to?

Enjoy this sermon... from 37:00min onwards... you'll be so so blessed. Really.

03 Setting The Agenda (Wired For Greatness) from Mavuno Church on Vimeo.

Tonight I commission Xiao Jie to do God's work tomorrow in His safe hands. The Church needs more prayer and covering! So please pray pray and pray pray pray!! :)

Goodnight... and now let's welcome another exciting victorious week!!!

God is awesome!!!

Welcoming Winter

2011-06-01T23:41:00.000+10:00

I'm seated on my bed cuddled in my nice warm duvet, sleeping bag, thick ski jacket and nicely cushioned with at least four pillows by my sides...

It's not really that cold, is it?

Well, I'm once again embracing the Brissy winter - in which some has decided, is not really a winter. But for a tropical island girl like me, this season is definitely winter.

So as mentioned in my earlier entry, I was having my baby back. Ok, by this I meant my laptop - my baby. It was short lived. Right now, it's on its way back to Sydney to be re-fixed again. Suffice it to say, a poor job was executed and my baby needs to undergo another operation. Sob.

Well, so I'm living on this little netbook Jasmine has kindly lent me. It's pretty hard to type, but I cannot envision myself not blogging right now. For the 1st of June usually marks winter for me - officially. Although I must say that the few weeks before today did feel a lot colder.

To date since I last wrote, which isn't very long ago, I have had two job interviews and two other 'ex-employers' keenly creating roles for me in their companies. I thank God for such favour - I mean, this is amazing. I haven't had any concrete promises yet, yet holding on to God, I will trust Him.

I know the job offer in Sydney is so so so so tempting... lucrative job offer... but is this really what God wants me to do? Please pray for me...! I really hope to get PR sponsored by an employer... but anyway, I know God is doing something to shake my world so that the breakthrough of blessings may come!!! So I'm running this good race... without turning back. I just need to focus, and keep running!!!!

The prophetic word is coming to pass... and now it's part 1, before part 2. If you know what I mean, please pray for me along those lines.... too. :)

I'm determined not to be affected by SWS this year. SWS = Shannon's Winter Syndrome. God's peace upon me. I won't be mastered by my emotions. I will rise up above them and hold on to the Tower and Refuge. :)

Good night y'all...

May stone?

2011-05-27T17:50:00.000+10:00

No.. it's not a 'maybe will stone' title. As my blog is always filled with 'faith stones', I thought I should pop in a 'Month of May 2011 Stone'!

So... now's just a word filled update... photos will follow next month when I get my laptop back!

'...life without a basic technology...'

I haven't written in a while. A lot has happened, and I don't have a laptop right now. But these days without a laptop has definitely drawn me closer to God, and got my body rested. Goes to show how much time I spend with technology!

But yeah, my laptop is repaired and I'm getting it on Monday. But I thought, till then, I should lock in an entry for this month of May, cuz I haven't!

So... a lot has been happening! What has been?

I don't know if I will ever be able to write it all in my blog! Maybe if I listed them, I would have missed some as well...

"...man will leave his father and mother to be united to his wife...."

But of course, I must write - TWO BEAUTIFUL WEDDINGS over the past 2 months!

Congratulations Veon and Derrick!
And... congratulations Elysaa and Puay Siong!! :)

These two sisters who have positively impacted my lives in the past 4 years - I'm really thankful and also happy to see them blessed and 'married happily ever after'!

'...Scene 1, Take 1!...'

I attended an awesome film director's course. Met some great people with the same passion. Worked with the director of Giant Vision Films - Chris Hobart. Over the short 6 days of this intensive course, he definitely gained my respect, and taught me lots of great skills... not just technical skills, but how to be a good leader.

To top this section off with some icing, I was complimented for good camera skills! :)

Well... I'm excited with what God has for me in the media industry!

'...embracing the storms...'

So, life's got its ups and downs... and in the midst of lots of great things, some difficult things have happened. So, I'm losing my job - was initially verbally guaranteed continuation for another year, but due to financial budgeting, the company realised they could not keep one full-time-employee, and chose to keep 3 part time employees to increase the hands.

When one door closes, another door opens. I know a lot of my friends at work have a lot to say about the decision made. Some of them even felt angry. But for me, I know God has the best and there must be a greater purpose in these all. So, I'm praying for direction and greater things to come.

Being in my current company has been a great blessing in my life. I've learnt a lot, both technically and in my character, and also learning to work with people who are extremely different from me. It's been great and I'm sure that as we look back to these years, we would have appreciated all the opportunities given to us by our company.

My current job had been a blessing from God. So as the song goes, "You give and take away... my heart will choose to say... blessed be YOUR NAME!"

I've already got invited for an interview on Monday (pray for me!), and also my ex-supervisor is going to have a meeting to try and give me a job for 6 months. Applied for three other potential job too! Doors are opening, and I'm leaving them to God.

Hallelujah! When one God shuts, another opens! So... I'm excited for what's coming!

'...conferences 1: Oceania Convention 2011...'

Bootcamp!

Had been great! Personally, a great breakthrough for me in the area of combatting discouragement. A breakthrough for me in the media as well. Shekinah performed a great stage play, and to top it up, I was invited to be a part of the media production, where I worked with professional stunt directors. The short film was awesome, and it also spoke to me deeply! Spiritual warfare? Look to Jesus. We have the victory!

'...conferences 2: ASCC Scientific Conference 2011...'

This year I was invited to attend a conference my company organised for all Stem Cell Scientists. It was hosted at Kingscliff, NSW. It was great... and I have the privilege to create a poster for my company, and present it.

I'm happy also to be able to sit through more talks without falling asleep (except for twice!), but for the rest, I was actually interested in some of the talks! I was speaking to Set Yen about it and she said it was normal... the first years in the Science industry is sometimes difficult to know what everyone else is talking about... And for me, the most difficult part is when things get too in depth with the combination of a speaker that drones.... in a single tone!

Well, apart from that, I had fun! And was extremely blessed! You know... I was given such a beautiful room! I'll post photos next time.. but I had the sea view cuz I was on the top floor! And although some got upgraded to an apartment, they didn't get the nice view like I did!

I spent great time chilling with God... and also reading a book. :) Hee.. interesting book Maggie mammiee lent me. Cough - it actually belongs to SHIN YEE MAM!!! Haha.... yes, nice book.

'...hello - working adult synergy night...'

Alrighty, it's time to log off and go to Portside Wharf for our church's 'Working Adult Networking Night'!

It's going to be fun.

There is a NEW Thing God's doing

2011-04-03T23:38:00.001+10:00

Not just in their lives... but in my life also.

But today marks the day reality sets in, but also a day many one embraced their journeys. I mark this day with bravery, confidence and courage!

I spent a bit of time overwhelmed by emotions this morning, crying in bed... sob sob. But on the other hand, God was keeping me brave... and here I am, conquering today!

A picture tells a thousand words, so I'mma let mine tell.

Many years ago, God had intended and prepared for great things. From my coming to Brisbane to meet people whom I never thought I'd meet... and God changed my life and touched me through great and wonderful people... I saw how things unfolded and how walking in Light can be so amazing...

There came one day when God being the rearranging again, and little did I know that was the beginning to His bigger movement. But little steps He prepared me... He took me to this year, and then today.

I can't count, maybe I should, the number of people whom has left my side this year. Evelyn, Jenny, Atieno, Siau Ying, Kuzi... and the people who've impacted my life so deeply, Jace and Alvin... and of course, the ones who have been not too near but not that far... my beloved Da Ge and Da Sao, today.

It's amazing but I'm taking it well right now... I had my struggles, but then when God showed me His vision and calling, I was utterly amazed and speechless. Knowing that for all these, there is a greater purpose... and we will meet again, near or far doesn't matter.

Happy 'Belated' CNY meal... hee...

(too bad I got no tripod so I can't be in there)

God's amazing.

I believe He's doing a new thing... and looking bad when I was going through a tough time, I felt God slap encouragement in my face endlessly... and I kept this in my heart for a long time, because I didn't want to write it... until, today. :)

There was a time I was going through and I asked God what He had in store for me now that once again, so many people are leaving my life. He was going on Gear 5, and I knew it had to be a good reason for that. I knew it was good...

During Touching Heaven Prayer Meeting, I was asking God endlessly.. why? Suddenly I realised the blessing I still had that and I learnt how to appreciate the goodness of God in my life that very moment. No one probably realised it but I did. And it may seem like something really small, but that touch and answer from God comforted me I could do nothing but cry throughout the whole P&W.

God kind of like gave me a 'tap' on my back and pointed to me that da sao was just beside me... and da ge was just in front of me. And because of the blood of Christ, we have this privilege to worship God, in the same place together. It might seem something small to you, but that day, I cried endlessly, encouraged and tugged deeply by God's love for me... and all that He's done in my life so far... I felt that comfort, surge through.

I don't know if I'm making sense, since it's already bed time... so I think I'll just go to bed... but I know, it's a new day, and God's doing a new thing...

And... a new season, has finally arrived.

Moving forward!

Tested & Stretched

2011-03-21T22:54:00.000+10:00

A time of testing and being stretched.

I almost blew it a while ago.

Living for God and not the world... and not seeking acceptance from people is a difficult task. But God is determined to deal with that in my life.

I know everyone's tired, so am I. But I'll keep running. It's hard... but I know why I'm doing it. And God is making this even purer.

Can't fall back now. Pray more for fuel. Even if I have to crawl, I will..

If my friends don't understand, it hurts... but I will still choose to obey the Lord.

He knows where I'm heading, and has what I need that I don't know of.

Pray for me..

Unmask Preview

2011-03-13T21:12:00.002+10:00

It's been crazy of late... but today I'm sharing in the joy with my Father God. This partnership and productions that blows my own mind....

I'm happy to present the preview of my FIRST short film production - Unmask Trailer.

Enjoy..
Looks like it's gone in 1:45 min... but that took a long time... but God showed up and made a miracle happen.

I wish for a MacBook Pro, or an Alienware... but God said He'll use the little that I have, and He'll take me through it... and He did!

I thank God for His providence... all the props, venue, sunshine, and the camera.. and the people and timing of the filming... the software... they were 100% provided...
God's amazing... as for the whole short film... Come to Unmask!

I'm just a simple 9-5 scientist, 5 days a week.. but God's multiplied my time and talents, for His kingdom.

It's a new season in my life.... with many changes... and many unknowns coming up...
It's also a season where I'm constantly drawn to praying more, falling back into God's embrace, because I can't do things for myself nor with my own strength anymore.

I know, to the world this sounds weak.. but I'm not living a life for the world...
The time is drawing closer, and believe it or not, Jesus is coming back real soon.

I'm sick of arguements and debates.... it's time to show love, grace and share about Jesus... whether or not people run with you, or appreciate, it doesn't matter anymore. Let us unite, and strive for the same purpose and goal. Stop arguing or allowing people to draw you into arguements. Love irregardless.

"By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."

- John 13:35 (NIV)

It's not about us, not about me. It's all about God!

Run - with hearts aflame!

Faith Affirming God

2011-02-21T22:15:00.003+10:00

Alignment with the Holy Spirit

Remember how I was speaking about God leading me to another chapter in my life - A Year of Faith. It's amazing cuz yesterday, Ps Wenan was preaching at Church, and he shared the vision he had for the church this year! Radical multiplication - Multiplying Faith in our Lives.

Look! It's almost the same as what God has placed in my heart! That's the Holy Spirit at work!!!

The year has begun with many uncertanties and promises. It wasn't a blink of an eye that made it almost the end of February. Somehow, to many ones, claims have been made that the year is already dashing across. But for me, it felt like every moment lived.

It's been long. Especially January. I dont deny that, indeed, the year has began to speed up, and I am excited to know what's coming.

My Reflections - Might Sound Greek To You

Lately, I have been doing a lot of self reflection with regard to certain things. I know there are some fears within I have to address. I'm trying to figure out certain things, and for some reason, I know God's placing me in situations that make me address these issues.

Have I really let my past go fully? I might have, but have I allowed the fears of history mould my character?
I know a lot of bombs have been flying my way. Tell you the truth, I wish I could answer y'all.

Looking to who I was at the beginning of last year, I might have changed for the better. But I guess God's not done with me. It's a lesson of vulnerability. I'm taking each step, by faith, not knowing how I will react to upcoming situations, but trusting God will give me the wisdom and the guidance to be who I really am - the Shannon God created - wise river filled with the Grace of God.

Did you know that is actually what Shannon means? You can doubt, but I'm claiming that blessing in Jesus Name!

I didn't know... but my new life, God's intended for something I didn't even know...

Like I said in my previous entry... In due time, I'll have a story to tell.
But the story doesn't just come like that.
I have to live and survive to tell the story.
And God will keep me going...
Sometimes, I feel like I'm struggling..
I'm battling..
Pray for me.
It's not easy, when I feel like I'm walking alone.. but truth is I'm not.
There's God.
And there are my friends, you guys.
And... though some of my dearest have left, I know they're keeping me in prayers..
Day and night I think of them...
How am I to let go?
I don't know...

God's funny... He gives me such great friends. But then again, to take them all over the world, to places where I can't be right now...

But one thing I know... all these are for a great purpose to come. Because when the purpose comes to fulfilment, I'll be seeing them so much more again, and right now, I'm not talking about heaven. Heaven is the eternity, but before that... God has a great purpose.

Ok.. enough of Greek that seems to confuse most..

Now my life in general?

As for my life now (not that what I wrote above isn't), I've been embarking on my first mini film for Church... pray for me... filming is complete, now it's the editing that's giving me a headache.
God provided me a great new tool as well...! My brother gave me a marvelous SLR camera, that can film awesome movies..
Now, what do you say, when God constantly smacks encouragement in your face?

And beyond that... my God who provides endlessly... provided 99% of the props needed in the film, which didn't cost me a single cent.

God's amazing.... and amazing! Actually, I feel like I'm kinda addicted to these faith journeys..

One thing I realise... each time I feel depressed, discouraged or down, I come to this blog, and am reminded of the endless goodness of God in my life... this blog, to feed His sheep... has in return, fed me the most. :)

Goodnight. :)

I Feel Really Blessed!

2011-02-09T21:32:00.000+10:00

This year's been starting different... moving different... and it's gonna be different.

Kind of know but not know what's coming... trying not to look just at the present but beyond. Trying not to look through my eyes, but eyes of faith.

In due time I'll have a story to tell... but right now it's all in pieces, but each time I look 'up', He's always there to hold me on, I know, there's something great in this... I'm just waiting and praying.

Cuz my life is different I'm learning how to live in the difference. Trying not to let difference change me but to be the difference. I seem surrounded by darkness at times, but the light within still shines bright, He's leading my way, I see it so clearly.. To the spectator there seems no direction, but really, I'm very joyful right now... though things may not be flowing straight, but I feel very blessed and things are going ahead.

What's coming? God knows. :) And because I know He knows what He's doing... I can keep holding on to His Promises...!

What can I do when God endlessly smacks encouragement right in my face? What did I do?
Really... I love it and can't help but smile and laugh at it... God's fun, amazing and genuinely sincere... I mean like, there's really no other who does this.

"Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.

Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.

Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.

Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.

Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God.

Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me.

Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you."

- Matthew 5:3-12 (NIV)

Today I was working and for some reason I kept wanting to listen to The Ambassador's song... so I did a quick youtube search... and found this awesome song. His lyrics are always so deep... not just a simple rap song..

For those who love it.. or wanna taste a bit of rap... enjoy! :)

Gimme Dat - The Ambassador

It takes someone with a close and growing relationship with God to write such lyrics... deep! Enjoy..

Gimme Dat Lyrics

Verse 1
Gimme dat bible

Gimme dat mic

I'll drop Jesus anyway so he can make a disciple

Can't surpass Christ there's no takin' his title

A passion for Christ I'll have you prayin' for revival

Gimma my city, yeah

Gimme dat-- less fish

Gospel of peace, yeah

You can give me dat-- fresh kicks

Gimme dat

Vest with your blessin' Lord I'm desperate

You gave me your life

So I look forward to my exit

I used to be a punk-kid

Used to wanna run, with

Dudes dat wanna hunt that

Turned our ones into hundreds

Used to run the blunt to be blunt

I wanted trees just to alter my mind

Now I find I'm wantin' Jesus

Used to run and roll mad deep with the street clique

Corner holdin' heat on the low like a secret

God's spirit penetrated my soul on a sneak tip

Took control now I'm in his floor like a leaflet

Chorus
Gimme dat fire

Gimme dat flame

Gimme dat fresh wind

Gimme dat rain

Gimme dat freedom

You can have the chains

Gimme dat God who can gimme all things

Verse 2

I know you got riches

I know you got ice

Your life is a big party

You're partyin' all night

You don't mind not knowin' Christ

In your mind dat's alright

You might not get this now

But you're kind of a Saul type

You keep with the trends

Cool's your middle name

On your pants you got a chain

The juice like Lil' Wayne

You're tattooed in a Benz

Maybe you're inarranged

Ladies, you drivin' crazy

Nothin's crazier than your frame!

(This is a shame!)
It's the age and I'm game

To be an agent of change

And at age, it's like a page in a flame

Just smoke, just mirrors, just vapor is plain

You see, a Holy God is not one of your favorite things

I was just like you,

But God moved on a fellow

Gave me good news

Dat I could use on the ghetto

Maybe it's you who wants a

U-turn to settle

You dead or you do??

I'll tell you it's been settled

Verse 3

So you got platinum?

We got our Lord

If we want, we could ask him

But he's our reward

Gotta be perfect

It can't be three out of four

If you're sick of fallin' short

Then he got a cure

Gimme dat cure, dat door, dat hero

Gimme dat grace dat never chased the dinero

How much glory should you give your boy? Zero

That would cause beef with the Lamb like a Gyro

Gimme dat day reaches you over shinin'

Truth over rhymin'

Virtue over diamonds

Gimme some change

Sometimes I do need the dough

Gimme some pain

Somethin' -- I do need to grow

Gimme what I won't ask for

Don't gimme what I seek

When I creep, I'm a sheep

Gimme your pasture

Gimme life

Just like you intended

It's like to see you raise the day you ascended

Vulnerability - I'm Appreciating This.

2011-01-30T22:46:00.001+10:00

This year is really taking a toll on me before the month of Janurary even touched an end.

But I realised, I have never made as vulnerable as this... I guess the last time I was this vulnerable, was when I was a child... or even, a baby. Of course, as it seems this moment, I am not as vulnerable as a kid.

Looking back, though vulnerable as a kid, I knew my parent's care for me. I had to rely on my parents. I had to trust what they knew what they were doing. I had no control over my life, and what I was going to eat, wear or do.... at least not before I was clearly aware of my surroundings.

And right now, I feel like God's taking me back to that place. That place where I let go of everything, and find Him fully, not knowing of what the future holds, but knowing that there's something good in store. As I can see right now, I know, there's a race that I'm running, a destination I am headed, but how I'm gonna get there, it's still a mystery indeed.

That's what's amazing.

I guess it's quite hard to tell someone to just let go as such. But God is a teacher, guider and comforter, and through Him and His sovereign will, I have found it easy to let go. These days I look back to who I was three years ago, and who I am now... I really find it amazing.

"They say friends are friends forever, if the Lord's the lord of them."

Yes... heaps of my friends and dear ones have left my side over the period of 2 months.... I miss them but I know we're going to meet again, not by my strength, but that God will make it happen. All I know right now is that God had made me vulnerable, and I choose to maintain this heart of vulnerabilty, that I may have the softest heart He can mould... and do unimaginable things...

I find my faith growing into a radical one... already at times I can't fathom it myself, but if I've decide to start this relationship with God, I might as well be real about it.

Whao....

So, Chinese New Year is hitting in a few days. Before that, please pray for the world... and for Queensland. Against the cyclone that's about to hit us... and against the pain and evil that's happening around the world.... pray that many ones will begin to turn to God, cuz clearly He is speaking something to the world now. It's already 2011, let us be urgent. :)

....and there will be the sifting of the hot, cold and lukewarm..

I'm blogging from home, Singapore. Visited the dentist yesterday, did my CNY shopping... and tomorrow, hair cut!
Guess it's all well spent and in good usage.. God's really opening these doors, and every moment of my life isn't wasted.

Anyway, some pictures of what's been going on.... I thought I'd post up, and let it tell its own story.

Hiking at Lamington Nationak Park on Australia Day Holiday - Caves Circuit

Kuziwa and I... I'm so going to miss you... Take care, my homegirl :)

SetYen, Fenny, Kimie, and myself.. taking a rest near the Cave!

Half the gang, before setting out. But see, I'm already clinging on to Kuzi kuzi...

"Don't leave me...!"

Project Passion... farewell for Evelyn. Ah... Looking at this picture... reminds us of the good times, yet the amazing hand of God, cuz right now, we've all moved on but striving hard for God! Believing that we're still going to do great things through Project Passion!

Farewell... Evelyn Meh meh... but now.. Kuzi left me too!

Anyway, the year ahead holds greater things! (not that the things before weren't great..)
But I'm holding on, and letting go... haha... so God can take control.

So... now they're all over the world... clearly, God's hands are moving!

Ok, it's a choppy entry... but I'm logging off now! Hahaha... Happy Chinese New Year friends!

2011 - The Faith Journey

2011-01-18T22:12:00.000+10:00

God is painting. The picture is slowly getting clearer.

2011 will be a deep journey of faith. Faith is more than what we know. Faith is totally letting go, and let God be in control, trusting Him no matter what happens.

What is this year for me? I don't know. But I know God is in control.

A shaking off of loose bits that I don't need to take to heaven with me.
A tightening of what matters to God, the filling of oil in my lamps.
A holding on to Him so much tighter than before, because the time is drawer near.
Finding peace and knowing Him, day and night.

To run when necessary, to rest when necessary.
To fight when called, to retreat when commanded.
To let lose of my reigns, and trust that I will not fall off cuz God's holding on to me.

This is 2011 for me.

I'm not preparing for the journey. I'm already on the journey. The Faith Journey.

This call is too big for me. I ask why me?
But it's not me that will fulfil these tasks. It is God in me.

God in me.

Pray with me... pray for me. :)

Covered and Protected through the Unfortunate 2011 Beginnings

2011-01-14T23:13:00.002+10:00

Before I had the chance to post up my what 2011 meant for me.... a series of events took their turns in my life.

While I'd like to list them... I thought, never mind. They'll come along... somehow.

First Natural Disaster in my life

The 2011 QLD Flood Disaster appeared on the news in Toowoomba and overnight reached us in Brisbane.
Went to work, had our usual morning coffee together... jumped into the lab to begin work, but before we could really start, a colleague came running in shouting, 'GO HOME NOW! CORONATION DRIVE IS GOING TO FLOOD IN AN HOUR!"

The next hour marked the evacuation of many ones, running home to save their houses where flood waters were already lapping at their door steps. Some others had to rush home to secure their belongings to higher grounds, find a good high ground for their cars... or to evacuate to higher grounds, while some others begin their journey around roads blocked from floodwaters, praying that they will reach home before they get stranded by flood waters.

It was a hectic few hours for Brisbane and their people. The supermarkets were packed to its fullest and non-perishable food and bottled water were being exhausted from their shelves. Supermarket trollies and baskets were almost exhausted and the queues lined all the way to the end of the marts, with people browsing through queue lines.

Overnight, the flood water rose while everyone awaited without knowing exactly what was going to happen... Then over the days... electricity was cut... we waited and hoped for it to come back.. using candles and torches... hoping that our hp batteries won't go flat...

God's Protection and Provision

Through this all, I'm quite thankful with the situation I was in. God had blessed me with a house on a high ground, close to the uni and supermarket. We were safe throughout and right now are even able to help others who are cleaning up their houses, now that the flood waters have subsided a bit more. God also gave me access to electricity through UQ... and even through I had only a little bit of petrol left, God somehow seemed to 'multiply' it for me to drive to the necessary places, to help people and do His work.

Some photos (not in chronological order):

The aftermath of Chais... sad... very sad... :(

The emptied shelves in foodworks..

Brisbane Street in St Lucia

UQ College Road... Algae from lake pushed up by flood waters

Sir Fred Schonell Drive - Nando under water...

Quote from Paul - they will sell chicken soup now?

Then... I unpacked my 'evacuation backpack'... and wonder... if I really had to evacuate.. would I really survive with just these...? Clearly... thank God I didn't need to evacuate... cuz... I think I lack a lot of essentials... and probably packed some weird (fish) stuff in there.. haha.

Now I realise it not about how much I can do... but how much the community can do. I found my friends helping one another.. and even people we don't know. Then also to feed a starving brother...

God's amazing plan

And initially I didn't really like the traffic jam.. but because of that, God enabled me to run a last errand before my dear friend left Brisbane for good... I couldn't stop crying, visiting and saying my goodbyes... and I knew it was God's perfect timing for me to be in that traffic jam, so I could make a last minute right turn and say my goodbyes...

All helping out

Came home and Lee Ying was washing her clothes with Wen. Her stuff were all stained by the river mud as they were submerged in a garage... If not for the unexpected traffic we could be helping her, but it was good to have Wen helping her there...

I guess everyone are doing their part in helping out... whether big or small... or even the simple prayer.. because it all counts. Though I sometimes wish I could do more, but I look at today without regrets... and am extremely thankful to be able to help Elysaa and Wei Ling, and even strangers that I don't know.

Wherever God directs my step.. I will go.
Living not for man, but for God.

The other thing

I guess I won't mention too much about the other few events... But I know God is faithful and will see through all He's begun. I know, faith is believing something you don't yet see... and it's hard when without faith, many ones can grasp hold of everything in their lives so dearly that sometimes find it hard to let go. The uncertainty of futures, and the present... today and tomorrow.

But the God I know... He never ever lets us down. Cuz all that He gives is good... and though what now may seem horrible, when looking back, we saw the path beautifully painted. All that, to give us a hope and a future. He's got plans to prosper us, not to harm us. With faith in God, we give it all up to Him.. let Him drive... ya, when I say let God drive... really, let Him drive. :)

Trust in God. Trust in Jesus. God NEVER fails.

Farewell

Right now... it seems to spell another episode of my life... I'm going to miss you so so so so much.... I can't stop crying... but.. God is good. He's taken you from me again... but we gon make it, wherever we are. I thank God for today... so so much.

Go... double A!

Starting 2011

2011-01-01T22:49:00.003+10:00

So I penned down a long entry yesterday. Oh, but that was LAST YEAR. Haha... It's a New Year today!

This year for me, started pretty chilled out. Wen Huey's sisters were here, so we wished each other a happy new year.

I was chilling on the couch watching the Taiwanese drama - 光阴的故事, also known as the 'Story of Time'. Was watching it with my parents while they visited me up here in Brisbane, and since the weather wasn't really great, we pretty much chilled out in the living room with this drama the whole time.

This drama isn't an idol drama, and I'm thankful for that. Sometimes idol dramas are too unrealistic. This drama tells of the lives of peope in a little town/village in the 1960s to 2000s.. and Dad enjoyed watching it, telling of how it was to be living in those times back then!

So yeah... that aside..

I guess I'm taking it easy at the moment before the year really pounces into another series of rushing waves, I thought I'd just chill while I can.

There are already some 'splashes' on my calendar and assignments/appointments already booked and locked in. At this point in time, I can't believe I'm more or less going to be kept pretty occupied till at least May.... Hm... But this year, I'm not going to strive with my own strength... I'm running on 'fuel Holy Spirit'. Yeah.

And right now... I'm on a saving spree... not spending..

But I need to get... a proper camera for filming. :)

The lesson on this 'Journey of Faith' has begun.

Recollections of 2010

2010-12-31T21:47:00.006+10:00

As the year move towards its closure in about 4 hours, I'd like to pen down a couple of thoughts about 2010 - A Year of Breakthrough. Indeed, as mentioned in my previous entry, 2010 has been a year of highs and low, but through it all, God's been faithful, and I'm sitting before my laptop, carving out this beautiful journey to remember what God's done.

Early this year

The year began quite abruptly for me. I never really sat down to think and lay down the steps that I wanted to take. I pretty much dashed into 2010 with a fire I didn't really know or understood. I still remember my shepherd, Elysaa, asking me to list and write down my New Year resolutions. So I listed down a few that came off the top of my list - reviving my media production skills, and improving my guitar skills. I can't really remember what else I wrote, cuz clearly, I was so 'interested' that I lost the paper I wrote, and had to re-write a second draft. Haha...

But God had His plans. I knew I had to go into 2010 with something in my hand. Thank God for blogs! I wrote down a whole entry at the beginning of 2010, called, "Hey 2010, Let's Freestyle". Looking at that entry right now, I laugh at who I was before, and who I am now... and I also appreciate the Holy Spirit's work in my life, back then, and now.

Right then, I knew little about what 2010 had. But I had the inclining that it was going to be great, and fun! So there you go, I dashed right in, with that God given fire and passion.... and history began it's making... :)

Came the first Breakthrough

It didn't have to wait till middle of May when I penned down one of the highlights of my walk. Prior to this entry, there were already many little things that God was doing in my life. I won't list all of them down tonight, else, I'd be writing a whole year out..!

The entry, "Going Gear 5 With God", sparked one of God's major faithfulness in my life. Last year, I gave my screenwriting dream to God and stopped writing the story that I've written for years. In return, God showed me His faithfulness and opened up the first door of the media industry to me. I never really thought I'd head into the industry in this direction. Awestruck, God's river of blessing continued to push me through 2010.

October 2010 - I turned 24

Turning 24 meant a lot to me. I began to look beyond myself and for the first time in my life, I engaged the opportunity to be a blessing on my birthday. And in returned, God blessed me even more. I wrote an entry called, "Faithstones", kind of like what I'm doing right now! Some of you might remember the little fundraiser I had for my birthday.

It took a simple step of faith and a little bit more to break past the fears of doing this, but God's been awesome. Because of that, a total of AUD$811 was raised for Compassion Australia! I was extremely touched by everyone's contribution to this drive and am so much more convinced of how I can be a blessing to others. God's blessed me that I'm well clothed and fed, as compared to many ones who aren't. And if you asked if I would do it again if given another chance to choose how I celebrated my 24th birthday, I'd probably do the same thing.

And something I didn't really want to share initially, but thinking about it now, why do we keep the good things hidden? So on my birthday, I've taken a step of faith to sponsor a child with Compassion. It's been something me in my heart for a few years now, but this year, I felt so strongly God saying that it's the right time. So.... He took me through the process of choosing the child, and ask me personally how, but I'm now a 'spiritual mum'! It feels so good... and I know I'm blessed by the child as well.

2010 Facebook Statuses

Facebook was great and so allowed me to do this 'summary of 2010 statuses'. I'm posting it up, because it's awesome, this whole 2010 Journey!

Friends

My covenant sister: Atieno

I take this opportunity to thank Atieno, a dear friend of mine. This faith-filled woman is now back in Kenya, by God's Grace, enjoying both Christmas and the New Year with her dearest ones.

We had many great conversations the whole of this year. Sharing our God given aspirations, inspirations, as well as our deepest struggles. God used our relationship with one another to stir even deeper passions for His purposes, and it is always amazing when we get together and speak the same message that God had been speaking to us over a period of time.

The crazy things we do together.... And the blessings God's given us together, we both know.

My dearest sister and covenant friend... Kenya is not too far, and the world can be small in some ways. We have dreams, and a God who is bigger than our dreams. We'll meet again... like we did again... and will so again. As God open our eyes, He'll give us the Grace to embrace these things..!

To the left, to the right - which we do we go? Yeah... wherever we go, let's remain in the Vine! :)

My chat till daylight sister: Siau Ying

This dear friend of mine, Siau Ying, is another gem in my life. Yes, we have 'romantic' moments. Hahaha... I'm so glad to have met her about a year ago, and now that she's back in KL, and going to Singapore next year, I look back and find that our friendship began last year, but really developed deeper this year, despite the physical distance we had.

I'm going to miss her company here in Brisbane, and the times we chat till late at night and not be tired, but instead, refreshed. The nights we hang out at my place... and the nights in my car outside her place. And those Cha Tea sessions... lalala... the list is short, but the conversations are exponential.

Well, you're going to be a GREAT DOCTOR, and Singapore will treat you well. Haha... through Grace, Mercy and Hope, you're going to do Singapore even better..! You go girl, and like I said, the world... isn't too big for us, cuz we got GOD!

My truth-be-spoken housemate: Wen Huey

I wouldn't be who I am this day if not for my wonderful housemate, Wen Huey. To be real, we have the most direct and honest conversations anyone might think of, and she's not slow to point out character flaws and strengths of mine.

But we've been through so much and I ought to thank God for her being in my life. Through our conversations and endless emails, I've come to know who I am and who I can be in God. And the times we cook for each other (her cooking for me more than me for her, I bake more), we've managed to fill in the gaps for one another's lives.

Making pizzas on my birthday

Through her, I've learnt as well, how to be there for friends. And her integrity and effort to go all out for her friends needs to be praised. I guess I'll never forget how she 'saved my life' when she sped to the airport, during morning peak hour traffic, a couple of weeks ago when I left my passport at home. The times we spent at Cha Time, Green Tea House, Dao Huey and just spending time over noodles and tea, ah... too many.

So, my little message for you is, thanks for being my friend. Though sometimes we are on different pages and opinions, I'm glad that we can still be friends and honest with one another. Learn to be better to yourself! It's great to go all out for friends, but sometimes, certain things are really not your responsibility. Protect yourself, your heart, emotions and physic, and don't over compromise your principles! And... whatever 2011 holds for you, embrace it as it comes along... God is good, and He will be with you. And my prayer still, is that you come to know Jesus as a friend and His love for you.

Cheers to our 2010 and 2011!

And the many more friends

Like to thank my life group members... and also my ex-life group members... who've all been so great and precious in my life. I don't want to list names, lest I forget names. But, you know who you are... and you being in my life and speaking into my life... and letting me speak into your life... or just your crazy company and brotherly/sisterly friendship in my life... you're all precious.

The deeper lessons

This year has been a year where God has broken me emotionally. I walked into the year wanting to learn how to love and serve more. And because I made that prayer, God let me be broken.

God helped me understand Love on a deeper level, by first breaking that outer shell of mine. God helped me face my greatest enemy, myself. And God showed me who He wanted me to be.

To be someone who is real and sincere. Someone who have no pretense. God broke me as a vessel, to reveal the treasure within. He taught me to understand His love for me. He helped me experience His Grace for me. I realise I could no longer make 'promises' to God, because in my weakness I am unable to fulfill them. But where God took me lifted me out of Christianity as a religion.

I used to hold it beside my lips that 'Christianity is a relationship with God, not a religion'. But I held that statement religiously. God didn't need me to make promises about how I was going to live my life. But through this whole year, Grace was what He gave me.

Looking back, my achievements, dreams and breakthroughs this year are encircled by an endless depth of His Grace and Love for me. Many times, I questioned and asked, "Why did God choose me, such a sinner?"

The only answer I could find was His Grace.

Everytime I hurt and suffered, He reminded me of His work at the cross for me. Each time I wanted to give up, He didn't reprimand me, but instead held me in His arms and encouraged me. The times I sinned and blamed myself, He spoke His gentle still voice in my life, reminding me of His Grace, and because He didn't condemn me at all, it broke and touched me so much to understand His love for me. Each time I cried, He collected my tears and carried them, and comforted me.

His love for me made me flee from sin.
His love for me made me cry and pray when I see others in sin.
His love for me helped me come out of that hole when I thought I was meddling too much into His affairs.
His love for me helped me forgive my weaknesses and find hope.
His love for me brought tears to my eyes... why did you choose me?
His love for me lifted me up... and when I was up there, I knew then, it was not by my own strength, but He was the one lifting me up. I wasn't standing, but was on my knees.

Pride had always been my greatest enemy. But God took me down to humility, and taught me what it meant to be humble. Pride arose from my past hurts. And because of that, I tried finding acceptance in the eyes of man. But God took it away, by first revealing to me the hurt I had hidden beneath the covers. My whole life, I've been looking up to man for inspiration, acceptance and courage. But this year, God rescued me once again, and imprinted courage in my life, helping me face my fears, through His word, and many ones around me. And I believe there is a deeper work that still needs to be done in my life... but God will be with me through those thick and thin.

So many things I didn't know, and I thought I knew it all back then. I was such a fool, when I thought I was wise. But this day, my wisdom will not come from myself nor man. Wisdom will come from God, and all I got to do is stop striving, and let God keep speaking to me... as a friend, the way He painted this relationship for me.

2010 indeed, has been a year of breaking but these breaking brought breakthrough. I would never have thought who I was 365 days ago, is I'd be right now. And all these I will boast in the Lord's work in my life.

Really soon, 2011 is coming. I've been writing for about 2 hours now... so it's only 2 hours to 2011. And in about 10 months and 20 days, I'll turn 25 - a quarter of a century.

Right now, I sense 2011 will be another year of breakthrough. But one that requires faith to step forth into. There will be challenges that I've never had... But God's is equipping me with His full armour, and one of the weapons that I have, the shield of faith, He'll train me to use it.

This year, I learnt a lot about Grace, Hope, Mercy and Love.... and I know next year, there is still so much more on that to learn. But on top of that, God will begin to teach me lessons on Faith. God lessons are so special as well! God is a great teacher, and the way He teaches, sometimes can be quite intimidating, but it's fulfilling and exciting. So.... I've signed up for another year! Haha...

God, my Shi Fu! Disciple Xuan is here!

In thanksgiving, I stand in Awe of You. :)

Happy Holidays

2010-12-30T18:05:00.000+10:00

Mum and Dad has just left Brisbane a couple of hours ago, and are on their flight right now, back to Singapore.

It's been a great time I've had over the past month, both back home and here in Brisbane. 2010 has been a year of ups and downs. Many 'ups' of breakthrough and awakening in my soul and spirit, and many 'downs' of learning to face the terrors of my characters and my shortcomings, and learning to flourish in the hide God's given me, not flourish behind a shell of 'godliness'.

I'll come into that in my entry, hopefully tomorrow - maybe... the 'recollections of 2010'?

Anyway, 2010 has been great. And deep.

For now, I've finished cleaning my room. And when I say 'clean', I seriously mean, CLEAN. Haha... oooh, it's shining.... and glittering, right now. Went for a run at the gym... and had a nice cool shower, followed my a beautifying rice mask for my tender face... ooh, lala... alright!

So, summing up today's entry so I leave the goodness for tomorrow's long entry... or maybe even 'tonight'? Yeah... Photos!

Mum and Dad's trip to Melbourne/Brisbane to celebrate Christmas and spend good time with me. Here's the only photo we've got with the three of us together.. haha... yummy Italian dinner in Lygon Street during our first night in Melbourne! Mum and Dad loved it! :)

If you ever asked me, what's my favourite food? Here it is... and nothing can beat it. Mum's homemade Teochew Braised Duck. My all time favourite, and the dish I miss the most everytime I'm away from home. Yep, so Mum and I made this duck here in Brisbane... Godsent. :)

My trip back home, and then to Muar (M'sia) to celebrate Grandma's 81 (82 Chinese?) birthday. Hee.. Happy Grandma with all her grandchildren. 1 more in Singapore and 2 in Taiwan.

And then... the epic photo. My closest and same aged cousin whom I grew up together with, together with Mum! Hee... Yes... Mama Chef and the two young 'masterchefs'. Haha...

Well, I guess that's all for now!

Time to head to Sunnybank with WenHuey and her sisters.... for Taiwanese dinner. :) Yum...

Christmas around the Corner

2010-12-19T22:05:00.000+10:00

With my travels of late, I've been meeting many people. It's interesting to see how diverse the ways many ones perceive Christmas. To many, it's a festive season for giving, to a few, it's indulging, and to some, a responsibility. To us Christians, Christmas reminds us of the birth of Jesus Christ, who came to bring hope, love and salvation to the world. Without the birth of Jesus, the world would not have known Christmas.

May many ones find hope, faith and love this Christmas. And may many one come to know the true purpose of Christmas - and to find God in their lives.

I've just touched down in Brisbane after my short weekend in Melbourne. Spent some good time with my colleagues at the ASCC Christmas Party, probably the last time for us to see one another before the company winds up. I joined my parents at Melbourne City after that, and had an awesome weekend with them, touring the city, and QV markets... and also just chilling and relaxing in the wonderful apartment we were staying at, with tea, wine, coffee, fresh fruits... etc!

Mum and Dad will be joining me in a few day, so it's great!

I know God is doing something this season. It's December and many are winding down, or summing up the year. But for me, summing up the year had painted a beginning for 2011, and the years to come. God's been so great at speaking, I can't deny He still speaks to His people! Whoever said God doesn't speak to us, that's so not true.

And as God beautifully painted my 2010, He did the same for many ones. The testimonies of people around me, and people I've been following in the media industry, has just been overwhelming. God's speaking to the generation He is calling, and His Spirit is at work, not just in my life and those around me, but also in the people all over the world. And because media has been used by God, we are able to praise God and glorify Him, as we noticed the same revelations and breakthroughs in the lives of totally unrelated people.

The Spirit of God! :)

Well, I'm off to bed! Have a great journey towards Christmas... that's JUST around the Corner. May your Christmas be filled with meaning and Grace.

Greetings from Singapore

2010-12-10T01:05:00.001+10:00

So me I'm sitting at my dining table with my laptop before me, yes, that's why I'm blogging.

My short holiday in Singapore is coming to an end. Seemed like I did quite a bit, but also, not a lot. I guess food is always on the agenda, so I had my fill. Two more days, so I believe I'll be fully stuffed by the end of the trip.

Got quite a bit of photos, but am so lazy to upload them right now.

Trip to Muar, Malaysia

Spent 3 days 2 nights in Muar with my family. It was good to be in Muar. Also, it was bitter sweet. Heart warming, and heart breaking. Seeing almost everyone coming back together for Grandma's birthday was great... on the other hand, seeing 3rd aunt and her condition getting worse was heart breaking. It was only less than a year since I last saw her, but she now can't talk nor walk properly. God's heart was breaking for them, seeing the family in this state. And 2nd aunt was also struggling to pull the family together with her own strength. On the other hand, my paternal uncle was also going through some health problems.

There is so much going on and I'm actually humbled to be able to see and appreciate them more than I used to. In the past, going back to Malaysia was just for fun, family and food. But now, there is a deeper meaning. I see a need for God in almost every situation, and every heart there. In the past, the tiniest strife would always seem like a character flaw and cause unhappiness, and fear in the hearts of many around. But as I was there this time round, I just kept feeling God's heart for them, not as a whole, but for every individual. God's heart for uncle, for aunt, for grandma, for her, for him, for the children, for everyone. In my heart, there grew even deeper a holy discontentment.. There would have been so much more joy in the family, if Jesus was present.

I'm praying they come to know God's love and providence in the family... please pray with me, that God will strengthen the weak in my extended family, and pour forth all His Love in their hearts, and comfort them in their own personal lives, every single one of them. Salvation will come to my family, I pray and believe. God's love, joy, peace and grace will overflow in our lives, to their lives, and to those around.

Meeting with buddies

Met Eliza and Eleen at Dempsey.. had a crazy, but refreshing time chilling over exquisite food, talking about our lives, and what God's laid in our hearts this whole year.

Then the next day, Eliza came over to my place. Cooked Mee Hoon Kway for her... haha, her special request, so I made it. Then we watched the 1040 Movie, powerful. And then we went for cake at Raffles City, and then met Andrea for Starbucks coffee till late at night that day. Lots of crazy laughter, and we even got to write our 2011 wishes on a floating ball and got it thrown into the Singapore River! Cool~~! Photos to come.

Next day, we attended Dage and Dasao's wedding lunch reception @ Goodwood Park Hotel. Was a very great reception they had... and through the videos they played (testimony + wedding video), many ones were touched and encouraged.

On Tuesday, spent a great deal of time at Orchard Road, and then met the wushu gang for dinner and dessert after that. Had a great time catching up and doing the crazy stuff (as usual)! Hm.. not photos to come... but VIDEOS to come!

Wednesday night... spent a great time chilling at dage's house, with Dasao and Eliza... and Auntie! Hahaha... so refreshing the talks we had... laughing non stop... and also some deep nice talks... and a powerful 1040 movie screening. :)

Today!

Whao.... went to Vivo to get some of my computer gadgets.... then walked around did some unintentional shopping... And then walk walk walk... someone sprung up on me... mam~~!!! Hahaha... oh, I should have said, 'da sao'~~!!! Hahaha... so funny la... so much of a coincidence as well! Hahaha...

So well, lots more, I guess photos will paint my thousand words in due time.

I'm gonna do a eye mask with my sis now, and then enjoy a nice sleep... I hope I'll enjoy.

These nights, I lay on my bed, and wonder and keep praying. I see the foundations laid.. the extreme holy discontentment... the misconceptions and misunderstandings towards God and His Church... and things people do. I pray everyone will see through Jesus's eyes of Grace in all situations..

God's work in my life in 2010 really helped me to appreciate and understand Grace. And to understand and learn Love.... and also Hope in God, and in the people of God... and even in people without God... or in people who are in God, but have swayed.

Our ministry and walk requires Grace. Grace... can't be taught. Grace can only be experience.

I'm logging off now.

Have a great evening, and coming weekend!

Right now I speak LIFE

2010-11-26T23:47:00.000+10:00

For a moment I paused.

Didn't identify where the discouragement was coming from. It had been going for awhile since a month ago. Then Legacy was the turning point. Was sharing in life group how I battled through only by God's amazing Grace. All I wanted to do was remain at the conference and not go back to the world. But reality was there, and the world was where I had to be in, not of.

But each day going back to Legacy, God made Himself present. His Presence made me just want to remain there. I asked God, why can't the world be like this? But God intended for us to take His Presence to the world. So I asked God, how can I live in this world? God told me, live in His Presence. Find acceptance only in Him. My Hope and Salvation is only found in Jesus.

And then He allowed Kuzi to wait for me to drive her home. Having such a housemate is wonderful... to ride to and fro church... God placed her in my car for that purpose, to encourage me, to know that I'm not alone.

And then Sunday was it. God said, 'GO'. Come to think of it, I'm now reminded of one of my firey passions this year - the Great Commission. "Which part of GO do you not understand?" And to speak of more encouragement, Atieno spoke her word into my life.

God sent Evelyn to speak life into my life on Tuesday. Funny how the tables turned and I didn't need to shepherd her with the lesson I prepared. Somehow I allowed God's Spirit to take control, and He did. She ended up praying for me and even received a vision for me after I prayed for her. God is amazing!

Even more amazing, I was so sick today I had to go home from work. I thought I wouldn't make it for chairing today. My first time chairing in life group (after a training chairing at UDMM 1 year ago). It was only half an hour to life group and I was still stuck in bed, couldn't get up. But somehow Strength came, and I went...

God spoke more than what I prepared for the sharing. He took over... some said I was calm and didn't seem like my first time. The life group responded. God moved...

Whao... read Shin Yee a.k.a Da Sao's blog this morning at work... and just saw how much she missed God... it's amazing. I do have those 'miss God' times as well... and I pray that everyday I will yearn for God so much..

Moses told God:

Then Moses said to him, "If your Presence does not go with us, do not send us up from here. How will anyone know that you are pleased with me and with your people unless you go with us? What else will distinguish me and your people from all the other people on the face of the earth?"

- Ex 33:15-16

Really.. that is my prayer to God. I can't live this life no more without God..

It's not about me. So, discouragement shouldn't set in. Because it's not about me. It's not about whether I bear fruits now, or later... or what people think of me. It's not about me. Remaining in Christ, and yielding fruit in season. Let God decide the season.

He is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever he does prospers.

- Psalm 1:3

It's all about God.

Learning to decrease, so He can increase.

Back to rest. I thank God for today. The wonderful day He had made. :)

2010-11-25T16:35:00.003+10:00

"...If His Grace is an ocean... we're all sinking..."

Who will you take with you? The world and all that's in it will pass and fade one day. The world is sinking... but I know I'm sinking in the right place. Instead of struggling and fighting for my own rights, I'll fight for souls, that we may sink all together in His Grace...

There's so much that I can want and fight for... but all that, I'm letting go, and learning to let go...
God, remind me.

...
And that's all for now folks. I wonder if people still drop by. Anyway, I'm going to believe what God said, and keep writing. Back to bed so I can rest this sickness away.

2010-11-24T23:53:00.003+10:00

Conference Galore

Last weekend I was in Melbourne for the ASSCR Conference. Many international scientists came and talked about the progression of research and science in the world... and it was great. At one point, there was a huge debat on how Asia is currently leading research, such as, Singapore, Japan and Korea.

Coming back to Brisbane, there was our Legacy Conference... another wonderful weekend I had. I thought I was having post-conference withdrawal symptoms.. It was awesome, Legacy. I've still got heaps of recorded sermons to catch up on... Well, God's been great.

And then just yesterday and today, I was at another conference - Australian Lab Managers Conference at Southbank. It was humbling to be the youngest kid on the block, sitting in a conference packed with lab managers and many experienced professionals in this field. If this was not God's favour, what is? Was good to hear more about Occupational Health and Safety and its new legislations that were going to be put in place.. And somewhere along the way... they praised the Singapore, China, Taiwan and Korean education system - mainly Mathematics and Science. Hmm...

Pondering
Made me wonder a lot after watching the 1040 Movie, about God's work in Asia, and its purpose in being a nation to fulfil the Great Commission. Whao. I haven't really understood God's intent for me in the Science field, and have always questioned why I always felt God tell me to stay in my industry... but maybe the tip of the iceberg has begun to show itself.

Right now

Am feeling kinda sick right now. Throat was itchy yesterday....
Now I'm a little feverish... slight sore throat... and pulses of coughing contractions are making their way to eruption.

Before I go to bed... Praise God, My Encourager!

God's a great encourager. Been feeling quite discourage for about two weeks, but before and during Legacy, God's been encouraging me to take heart, and to drop disappointments and discouragement. I picked up, and let go, picked up and let go. Through Atieno, Evelyn, Kuzi and Yvonne... thanks girls, God's just kept bringing them to shower encouragement upon my spirit.

I'm so encouraged right now... and know God is one who affirms and pursues.

And for the rest of me, He gave me this as a reminder. :)

I watched Coffey grow from 'Trading my Sorrows' to 'All Ye'... and till today, I'm blown away. Please see his testimony:

In my entry on "Going Gear 5 With God", I wrote:

6th May, my Facebook status says: "Faithfulness is the KEY to unlock the doors God has promised He'll lead you to. =) Revelation!"

Faithfulness to God... not just God's goal. :)

Goodnight~ Let me rest up so sickness can't overtake.

Powerful Legacy Conference

2010-11-21T22:23:00.001+10:00

The Legacy Conference is finally finished. And as always, after each major conference like that I always go back to the time God showed me a vision of the transfiguration.

Three years ago, in the vision...:

God, I just want to remain here. Can't I? It's so peaceful here.

No, my child, you have to go back.

Why????

And then my good big bro showed me the verses in Luke 9:32-42.

As the men were leaving Jesus, Peter said to him, "Master, it is good for us to be here. Let us put up three shelters--one for you, one for Moses and one for Elijah." (He did not know what he was saying.)

- Luke 9:33

The next day, when they came down from the mountain, a large crowd met him.

- Luke 9:37

Even while the boy was coming, the demon threw him to the ground in a convulsion. But Jesus rebuked the evil[2] spirit, healed the boy and gave him back to his father.

- Luke 9:42

Peter wanted to remain on the mountain top. But Jesus knew He had things to do, and that was to heal the world that God had given Him. Immediately after coming down from the mountain, Jesus continued His Ministry, and healed the boy who was demon possessed.

That's God's calling for us. And conferences really take us up to the mountain top, but then, we come back down, empowered by God Presence. And the greatest part of this that we all got to know, is that we can find that mountain top experience not only from conferences, but also from our daily encounters with God!

God's Presence

We need God's Presence to be in us and to go before us so we win the victory.

- Ex 33:15-16

I so need God's Presence in my life... so so need... more of God.

Everyday. Yes, every day. Not only from the conference, not only from Sunday and Friday... or yesterday.

Heidi Baker once said something like, '...many of us are living on the stale bread crumbs of yesterday's Presence (manna), but God wants to give us His fresh Presence everyday..."

Set Apart

This word Holiness is awesome. To be set apart at times we do things the world hates. But I'm praying for the wisdom and His guidance. I've learnt it takes to understand God's way before we can be set apart. Not approaching His Holy Place with what I think is right, but instead to seek God in Spirit and in Truth. The lesson from King David transporting the ark was so powerful.

I'm taking it slow, understand God, live for Him in His way.

Battles + Prophecies

"A warrior."
"Strong foundations being laid."
"To not be discouraged."
"Rejoice and let the Joy of the Lord be my strength."

Countless more prophecies.. Many tears of liquid prayers through the conference. I thank God for the opportunity to aid the visuals team with the DVD recording. I spent the whole conference at the back. Praising and worshipping God at the last row with all my heart. There was so many transactions... I was singing, and then I was not... I was crying, was on my knees.. I was questioning... and hurting... and then I was listening... and He lifted me up, and comforted me. Each worship session was powerful, and I was able to be a part of worshipping God in the main hall, at the back... having my own space and time with God, in such a personal space.

And then when the session started, I would be at the PA room doing the recording... didn't know pressing a start and stop button could be so challenging as well. Ps Wilson, now I understand how you felt!! No role is minor or less important! It was also humbling to see all the sacrificial hearts of PA and Visuals Crew members working at the back of the hall... and a lot of many other behind the scene activities..

Sleep..

So the DVD was successfully published after some late nights. So sleep is now tugging at me. Just had Siew Ching's farewell... it was really touching and humbling to see her heart for those around her... makes me reflect on myself and think of how I can do more for those around me... with a heart that is genuinely character transformed by God.

God doesn't need us. He wants us.

This new foundation that is stronger, firmer and deeper, is going to go deep and break new grounds... it's a painful journey... but God will help me.

Let God arise, for our God is a God who saves. I'll let Him take control.

So much more I want to write... but now I know why they say God is amazing for us human minds. Because when God comes, He comes like a tsunami, too much for us to handle. So in the same way, God's touch was so deep, I can't piece it all in words, nor in a single blog entry... and a lot of it is still being slowly revealed... and I'm learning to absorb so it doesn't just become words... but instead, let God's touch do a deep character transformation within me.

A life. Not a puppet.

To respect, not to misuse.

To treasure, to bless, to pamper, not for self use.

Amazing In-Control God

2010-11-19T23:22:00.000+10:00

God is amazing.

In helping me be real to myself, to Him and to the things that I'm going through, He's taught me that I don't have to maintain a form of righteousness in order to try and be someone. And in accepting this, God has also given me courage to follow Him.

When you follow God, you make a decision. Many can be Christians but choose to lead a life away from God. But for me, I don't want to be like that.

Having experience God's real touch in my life, I am accountable to no one, except the saving love from God. I'm not being legalistic about this, or trying to live a life to please man no more. God has been reaching out to me, and helping me come out of this. I'm not quite there yet, and I don't know the day it'll be fully achieved. But that's faith, and trust that God is helping me. Don't ask me why I'm so sure. But I know God is faithful, and He has always proven to be.

Today Pastor Lance spoke at the Legacy Conference. He's targeted and spoke everything that God has been speaking to me about. A life that goes straight to our hearts. Being a real person.

Many people in the world nowadays try to do things because of society pressure, stress or even for their own fame. And as we have come out of the world, we still sometimes hold on to the things that controlled our lives in the past. Acceptance from the society, family or friends.

God's way isn't like that. God's way is very simple. Find acceptance in God. Only finding that place and acceptance in God will we be able to find true security. And when that happens, nothing in the world shakes us anymore.

If all my friends leave me, it wouldn't matter.
If all my friends reject me, it wouldn't matter.
If all my ambition reaches nowhere, it wouldn't matter.
If all my possessions are gone, it wouldn't matter.
Because I'm safe in God's hands, and that matters - because God sees the beginning and the end, and eternity.

Faith, comes down finally to that. That we know we have eternity with God.

The revelation is still building and the picture is just starting to get clearer.

Yes, I am permitted to question, because God isn't afraid of questions.... no legalistic or politically correct Christian answers, just a true life experience of God - that is how one will truly be able to shine for Jesus.

He's just amazing, and I mean every word.

More to come.

2010-11-19T16:14:00.002+10:00

I am permitted to say I'm depressed with certain things.
That I am discouraged.
That things don't go well..
And that I've been hurt.

A lot has been put into this... a lot of emotions and effort. My heart has been put into this. But I feel like I'm hitting walls, and getting hurt. My sincere intentions were mistaken. My care has been made invalid.
Yes, I'm permitted to say. But try understanding how I feel.

Oil and water can never mix. Ten good deeds cannot cover up one bad action. Ten loving words cannot cover up one hurting word.

Why am I trying so hard, to end up hurt by man. When I try to love people, they don't see it. I'm always giving in to others, but then I get stepped over. I say my opinion, but it's always over ridden. I open my heart and life and make myself vulnerable, but they hurt and close me up.

That's why I can't put my trust in man anymore. They will all fail me but God wouldn't.

I'll take break, and keep trying. Be myself - be sincere. And be who God has created me to be.

At least through this I've learnt a lot, and looked back to some good old days... And through those good memories, God is now helping me ride on that cloud to take me forward.

I'm only but a human. Be patient with me. Like how Jesus showed me Grace.

Rayson & Shin Yee's Love Story

2010-11-18T22:52:00.000+10:00

It's my honour to present Da Ge and Da Sao's Love Story :)

Hee hee... True love waits.
Yes. TRUE love. True LOVE.
WAITS.

It's deep. Very deep, and true.

2010-11-07T23:43:00.005+10:00

Hee~ many of us are still floating in the overflow of the wedding love...~~

But as I was going through facebook, I noticed many posts get pushed down as new ones arises. Therefore I thought I'd post up a recent post I wrote on my facebook status.

I realise I can no longer limit myself when I ask God for something. Because my God gives as we so desire. Spiritual Gifts - all of it! Mission field - the nations! That's what Jesus meant when He said to have a Childlike Faith. Put 10 gifts before a child, which one would they pick? Given a choice, they'll take ALL of them!

It's been something that God has been speaking to me a lot lately, especially in the last two months, and I've been feeling that challenge and excitement as well. God is indeed amazing. Yes, amazing is how I will describe Him. He never fails to surprise me.

And I've been seeing more victories in my life. Yet, more tests coming. I pray for God's strength in my life, and take each step at a time. And something I desire is victories over my dreams. A person is actually in their weakest and most vulnerable place in their dreams. But God has been using dreams to speak to so many ones.

We see prophecies, and we also see ourselves. One's state of mind is uncontrollable in dream state, and when you find yourself doing things that you don't ever think you'll do when you're awake, reveals a certain part of yourself that you might not have fully surrendered to God. Sometimes in our consiousness and alertness, we know what we are not supposed to do, because we're Christian. But in our dreams, we see our true self, and also find out where we thought we might have been strong, but actually are weak. So it's always good to evaluate our dreams, to know whether it is from God, the devil, or ourselves.

From God, test the prophecies, pray about it. Then trust and have faith that God's promises will come to pass. God is a comforter and encourager.

From the devil, test, identify and bind the enemy, pray and command with authority & victory. The enemy brings fear and doubt. Identify it and rebuke!

From yourself, test the source and find our heart condition, our weaknesses and strengths, and pray for victory and the truth to set us free. Our hearts are deceitful above all things. Let deception neither rule nor hinder our walk in Christ.

God is sovereign and He'll always protect us. Trust God, put on your spiritual armour and pray in the spirit all ocassions, even during your dreams!!

And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests.

- Ephesians 6:18a (NIV)

Have a great God-filled week ahead!

Joined by God's Love

2010-11-06T23:57:00.000+10:00

Today was the BIG day for my Da Ge & Da Sao (officially Da Sao now!).

I'm so happy for them. Happy can't even describe how I feel! But you know what I mean!

God has brought two different people from two different countries to Brisbane together.

He sang while she walked down the aisle. And she sang as she walked down as well. The song finishes when she reaches him.. ah, how it so sings of the Songs of Solomon!

Their lives had never been about themselves since they came to know the saving Grace and Love of Jesus. And even in their wedding, I knew there was a special touch from Heaven that came down. It wasn't about themselves. It was about everyone there who came to share this joyous occassion with them. And it was about God, and His hand upon this marriage.

Whao... If I'm not wrong, not a single person who came walked out without a tear in their eye. Tears of joy, touched by the amazing work God has done in their lives, and touched by their genuine love for one another.

May this be a beginning as they embrace this journey together, with God, the 3rd strand in their lives. :)

"...A cord of three strands is not quickly broken."

- Eccl 4:12c

Congratulations, Mr and Mrs Low! Hee hee...

Clap clap clap.... applaud!!!

Peek-a-boo November

2010-11-05T00:01:00.001+10:00

Hey everyone, it's November!

Time Flies
Time is just rushing and hitting me in gusts on my cheeks day by day. I was just mentioning to my colleague how amazing it is, and in a month's time I'll be on my little trip back home for 2 weeks!
There's been so much that God has jam-packed into my 2010. And I really felt that extra stretch and test that God's been taking me through. Having said that, there has been also, many breakthroughs. Whao!

Atieno has told me that I didn't need to seek my own ministry. But as I sought God, He would bring my ministry to me. Indeed, God has done so. And through this year, God has revealed more of His purpose for my life, and the little steps that He has been taking me through seemed to fall into the big picture.

1040 DVD

I ordered my 1040 DVD about 4 weeks ago, and it finally arrived early this week - praise God! I thought I should do a little movie screening at my place, but before I could fix a date with anyone, I put the DVD into my laptop, and started to watch it.

It's really powerful, what God is doing in Asia. And it strikes me more in the video, of the hearts of different ones who gave up so much in their lives, knowing that the things on earth (money, fame, career, or even their lives) do not matter when compared to the Kingdom of Heaven.

It touches my heart so much, to know how we can do so much more for those in need. And this video speaks deep into my heart too, because I know how Jin and Van Ness were before they became Christians. Both their testimonies always remind me of how faithful God is.

God's Deep Lesson

Lately, I have been doing some self evaluation and thinking on a recent turnout of events. God had by His Grace enabled me to see things and pray for things, and before all things happened, showed me His way and purpose. In this 2010, the many breakthroughs and things that happened showed me that God is sovereign.

Some things turned out to my naked eye, not good. I look back and think how I could have done better, and I knew there were some things I could have done, and not done. But in the midst of all these reflections, I also hear God telling me not to be too hard on myself. I guess God's been teaching me to be a bit better to myself, because He loves me as well. And I guess I'm still learning to find that balance in life, learning to sit and listen to God more, and learning to sit and be there for those He brings in my way.

The other thing that I have been thinking of is this awesome Church that God has placed me with. Through tears and joy I have journeyed with Hope Church and here I found a loving family who would always be there when I needed them. And I have also learnt to be there for others when they needed me. Even though some of us have moved on to different places that God has called us to, for example differen life groups, I still feel so connected with them. Some times it is not the time spent with one another, but it's just that bond that is so strong and powerful, and the few words exchanged, yet you know you have a place in the heart of one another. That is the power of LOVE from God that unites us together.

I love all the times where we can be real and honest before one another, and talk about the great things that God has been doing in our lives, and also to share about our struggles and difficulties and pray for one another. And even as different ones might be called further away from their ministry, there is this powerful element it seems, that unites us, and though far, we are still connected.

I love this family of God that God has blessed me with. I know many ones are always so busy serving God, and despite the times where all their hard work goes un-noticed, they still continue to love and serve the different life group members. At times, they even get misunderstood for not caring enough or doing enough. But I know they have been doing so much beind the scenes and praying so much more for all of us. God has been good to us, and my prayer is everyone learn to see the GOOD that God has done in our lives. Because God is GOOD! :)

God has been faithful to us, and He has been adding to us. As a church grows, there will be pruning and purification, and the enemy would seek to create more strife between believers. But God is sovereign, and as we choose to walk in the Light, we will not stumble.

"Walk while you have the light, before darkness overtakes you. The man who walks in the dark does not know where he is going. Put your trust in the light while you have it, so that you may beome sons of light."

- John 12:35b-36 (NIV)

In the third quarter of this year, God has been reminding me so much about John 15. And my prayer is that everyone would receive and embed this chapter strongly in our hearts.

As we embrace positivity, hope and joy in the Lord, obeying and responding to God step by step in faith, we will see the value of God's word in our lives. Let us be TRANSFORMED as we allow God's word to shape and change us to be better people, living that life of FAITH, HOPE and LOVE...! :)

I won't be quoting many Bible verses today, but all that's written above have been what God's been speaking to me about, and affirming me with the different Bible verses in His word.

Hope that changed a Sinner - Transformed into a Soldier of Light

Many years ago, some might admire Van Ness from afar for his position in F4. Another might dislike him for the fame in F4 as well. And one who knew how deep Van Ness was struggling with his fame issues, have thought Van Ness was a gone case and hopeless person, doom for destruction by the terrors of the entertainment industry. But many ones had that Faith, that Hope and that Love for him. So many ones prayed for him, which he may never know. But most importantly, God loved him, and was pursuing him.

My favourite verse in John 10:10 speaks so much, and sums up a major part of my ministry that God has given me.

I know I've posted so many entries about him, from the day he made that decision to be born again till today. But I'm still going to post this one.

Enjoy, and at the end, you'll hear his new song - glorifying God.

Yes, I like it when he sings his English songs.

Peace, and I'll see y'all again!

Faithstones

2010-10-23T22:08:00.006+10:00

What's faithstones? It's not milestones. It's faith stones. Because it's like reaching a milestone, but not exactly a mile. Faith is believing something you do not see.. so, I'll call it Faithstones, cuz I can't see the distance. But... read this entry, to see 3 faith stones that God has highlighted in my life, and those around me... and those far-yet-near to me.

Faithstone 1: Heaven Smiled

I had a great opportunity to witness 3 brothers and sisters' water baptism this morning. It felt awesome there to witness that moment that they publicly proclaimed their faith in Jesus. That moment God kinda nudged me in my elbow and that silent approval and peace was there.

I'm so happy for them, and in moments like that, I learn to appreciate the work that God is doing in many individuals. And at times like that, it was just like Heaven came down.

God is raising up a generation of faith filled people who would respond to Him, both with their hearts and hand.

Faithstone 2: I'm 24 and Thank you

So, my 24th birthday just passed. It's been a different year, and a great year that I've learnt a lot about myself and how to treat others. I also learnt compassion, not just in my head, but in my heart. I also learnt to appreciate others, and be real to myself and others. I don't want to name the few names here, but you know who you are, and you have been a great blessing to me by boldly speaking truth and honesty into my life.

I want to thank God for the floodgates of resources that He opened and how He multiplied one small heart intention greatly. I was a little fearful of doing this fundraiser because I was worried a poor response I might get. But God encouraged me to go ahead and just within 3 days, a total of $723.00 was collected for Compassion Australia. And more is to come... I know, cuz some people said they were going to still add in their share, so I'm going to keep it going! Thank you all, who blessed my heart so greatly in blessing children in poverty on my birthday. And if you still like to donate, please go to my fundraiser website here!

This year has just been a year of great spiritual blessing and that infilling from God just overflowed. Instead of waiting for others to throw me a party or surprise, I decided to have just a couple of friends over to enjoy pieces of my home made pizza. It was such a great time - see more photos on my facebook.

And in just giving, God gave me even more on my birthday. Four birthday cakes, love and a huge present. :) A present in a vision. Don't know what it is yet... :) But God has great gifts!

In addition, I want to thank God for the many people around me and my family... all you who know you've played a part in my life, whether big or small, too many to list. Thank you. You're in my heart and prayers, not just around me.

Faithstone 3: The Potter's Faithfulness - His Work to This Day

You know what makes my heart joyful these days? Knowing God's heart and seeing people rising up see God's heart. People who are willing to lay it all down and say, Jesus you pick it up.

This morning I saw Jin's latest post and it once again reminded me about God's faithfulness:

2002: Age 20. Sitting on the top of the world.

2009: Age 27. Trying to change the world..

In conclusion, each strand of hair represents a life lesson I learned throughout the years.

If you read in my past entries about how Jin played a huge influence in me before I (or him) became a Christian, you'll be so amazed by his every step. I love this man, his willingness to humble himself fully and respond to God, not just in words, but in his heart. Go Jin!

Whenever I'm discouraged, God will remind me of the works He did in both Jin and VanNess's lives. Amazing.

To end my entry, so I can go back to do what I was doing (I really had to get this entry out), I'll just post up part 2 of the NOW I CAN short film. Hee.. ok, I'll post up part 1 again in case you forgot! VanNess and Jin, keep GOING4GOD!

Part 1:

Part 2:

Marvelous Monday

2010-10-18T23:23:00.000+10:00

People tend to have Monday blues. But I was excited for work today.

I'm learning to take each step in life with God, instead of always thinking about tomorrow.

Yeah, God's made my Monday so awesome.

Spent this evening being a listener and encourager for two different sisters. Whaoed by God of how He multiplied my time, and even helped me to speak forth words in His Spirit.

I walked away both times claiming them victories in Jesus Name!

Couldn't help but sat in my car at 11pm shouting and worship praising God. Too powerful!

So, 2 days to my birthday. But since I made a bold prayer/wish last year, it's been so awesome. This year, my birthday prayer is even more powerful, and God has helped me to appreciate it, and showed it that it's more BLESSED TO GIVE than to receive.

Please see my birthday fundraiser at http://www.everydayhero.com.au/hero_pages/view_posts/shannon24bday :

Looking Out

I'm turning 24 in 2 days! Every year, I'd be receiving many gifts and cards on this day.

I have been thinking doing this for the past year now and was hoping that this year, instead of having my birthday be all about myself, I'd like to do something much more meaningful.

So I was hoping to be bold enough to make this request. Please instead of giving me gifts this year, why not be a part of helping me fund raise for children affected by poverty?

Having reflected on my life in the past 24 years, I have never really been in lack. I've had a great family, a great society upbringing and now a great God who has constantly blessed me both physically and spiritually in my life.

One of my heartbeats have been to be able to pass on these blessings in my life to those in need.

As much as I'd like to be out there in the mission field, I have not yet acquired resources and time to reach out into the community out there. So meanwhile, I'm going to start with the little I have, right here, to make this dream come true.

So my shout out here is happening! Hope you'll give generously to Compassion Australia for the work they are doing for the children living in poverty in many part of the world.

If you'd like, I'm hoping you'd donate $24 since I'm turning 24.. but if not, any amount is still going to make a difference!

A mustard seed is extremely small, but it grows into a HUGE TREE. So your little contribution will be able to bless many more as well. :)

Thank you!

2010-10-17T02:46:00.000+10:00

Some questions that I've been tugging at God lately.

Some inklings and burdens God's placed in me lately as well.

Today was a great spiritual transaction.

I did something that I know God is smiling and happy about. Responding.

And I also believe, today unlocked a beginning in another's life, as well as my own life.

Blessed to be able to bless. Blessed to be able to rest and worship in His Presence.

My God, Jesus reigns forever. No doubt.

Claiming the Media for God

2010-10-02T00:39:00.001+10:00

I'm on a special journey with God. He's taking me on a magic carpet ride.

In the last 25 days, it has been more than just awesome. God has been showing me visions and even speaking into my heart.

I want to in this moment take some time here and thank both Atieno and Elysaa for being such great spiritual covenant friends and mentors in my life. Getting to know God more and more do bring about some difficulties from the world, but God who has been faithful in pursuing me has sent great angels like them to watch over my life.

The Pathway of Preparation

Over the past year God has been speaking to me more and more about cutting off from secular music. That is also why you realise I don't like to listen to the radio in my car while I drive. I think there is already a lot that the world is speaking to our minds in our day to day life. The last thing we really need are worldy songs that can resoud and stay in our heads for a long time.

The Holy Spirit has just been further convicted in discerning the times and trends arising. Something inside of me wants to be shut off from what the world or hollywood is telling me, but maybe I have not truly been addressing this issue.

Protection from God during times of Training

Today I watched a snippet of an extrememly long documentary that exposes what the enemy has been doing lately. As I was watching it, I felt that there was something not right within. Thank God for protecting me and letting me go to work instead of staying at home. And something in me knew that I had to get Atieno to watch this with me.

God is soverign and amazing. Atieno received a word from the Holy Spirit this morning to stop watching what the media shows. And... so when she came over to my house and watched the video for the first 4 minutes, she decided it was time to stop. The Spirit spoke to her. And then we spoke. And at that point, I knew why the Holy Spirit wanted me to get Atieno to watch this video with me. The thing is, the video talked so much about the enemy and his work, and even showed many things that can be deterimental or make us fearful.

Stop deciphering the enemy's lies

There's no need to know what the enemy is doing. Yes, we know the anti-Christ is coming, and he is mentioned in the Bible. But our role as a Child of Light is to remain in the Vine, be a tree planted by streams of living water, which yields its fruit in SEASON.

Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked or stand in the way of sinners or sit in the seat of mockers. But his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever he does prospers.

- Ps 1:1-3

We need to put on the armour of God, so that we may stand against the schemes of the enemy. Note how the Bible does not say 'determine the schemes of the enemy and use our own wisdom and understanding to fight them'. It says, TAKE YOUR STAND AGAINST, with the FULL AMOUR of God.

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armour of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armour of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled aroud your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.

- Eph 6:10-18

Have we got the belt of truth and the sword of the spirit well buckled and handled? If not, why not focus on that? There's so much more about God that we can know and grow in. We can never know enough of God.

I thank God for His protection in my life, and His protection of my inner being.

The ministry is there, but the ministry has to be an outflow of the wonderful relationship that we have with our magnificent God.

Let's Pray.. for the Saints

I pray for the media industry, and that men and women of God rising into fame will continue to be rooted in Christ and wait for the SEASON to come where God will allow you to bear fruit and prosper, with His strength. Let us not debate about what the enemy is doing, but instead, stand firm in God and take instructions from only our General Commander - God, the Holy Spirit.

Ah... that's all I really wanted to write for now...

I know there's a lot more, but I know God is saying, all that rest, put on hold till the SEASON comes for me to write them.

Have a great weekend guys! Me, I'm going to be on an exciting trip in Sydney with Atieno until Wednesday~~~!!

Let God move as He desires

2010-09-28T16:54:00.000+10:00

You know God has been speaking so much in this season. If you realised, I removed my recent entry. For one, I didn't think it was explained clearly enough, so I thought I'd do up another entry on a later date.

But for now, here's the power of what God can do through media.
Hope you take 5 minutes to hear this message.
This has been what God has been speaking to me since early this year, through different people and even in my heart. And now, here's another snippet of the move of the Spirit. The same message, shared all over the world by different ones!

Have a great day!

Hello!

2010-09-19T22:27:00.003+10:00

Hey all, I have been missing in action lately.

Some things been going through and I'm just taking some time off with God. Yeah, I'm on this journey with God I can't exactly write in words now... but it's exciting and breath taking, I know something good's gon come out of it.

God's been putting this in my heart lately. In Luke 13:18-21:

Then Jesus asked, "What is the kingdom of God like? What shall I compare it to? It is like a mustard seed, which a man took and planted in his garden. It grew and became a tree, and the birds of the air perched in its branches." Again he asked, "What shall I compare the kingdom of God to? It is like yeast that a woman took and mixed into a large amount of flour until it worked all through the dough."

- Luke 13:18-21 (NIV)

Next up, snippets of God's Faithfulness

Christmas 4 Kids Promo:

Cardboard Testimony Multimedia:

Unpublished WAC promo:

Maybe photos of what I've been up to...

Cooking my Medium Rare Salmon

Making Gula Melaka Kaya

Planting Pak Choy

My first harvest! My first fruits!! :) God thanks to God!! And my mum for those green fingers!

Cooking and eating my 1st harvest! Man, it's extremely sweet and crunchy!

Harvesting 2nd round...!

Eating my 2nd harvest. That was 5 bunches... can you believe how much they shrunk?

Well, that's all for now folks!

If you'd like to pray for me.. please pray this simple prayer for me.

And that is, that I will be able to hear God's voice clearly and accurately, being fully set apart for Him and being able to discern the voices and make wise decisions.

Time is a Precious Gift

2010-08-08T12:37:00.005+10:00

So right now, I'm supposed to be working on a multimedia but before I start, I thought to write some things here.. Hopefully I don't take too long!

Inception
Watched Inception yesterday. Nice movie. The producer of the movie must have analysed his/her dreams very well... and it's kinda amazing how people come up with such plots. Amazing. So I came home last night... and slept, and dreamt! Haha... as usual.

Only God is Stable and in Control
On another note, I'm tired of trying to figure out what others are thinking. I know I'm a very sensitive person. In fact, over sensitive. And it's not my first revelation that we have totally no control of how others feel, or what things happen.

I'm just really sad that some people shouldn't be thinking the way they should. It hurts to see others in bondage. It hurts to see others not respond the way you want them to. That's why we should never put our hopes in people cuz ultimately, the best person in the world still have their flaws and weaknesses. Only God won't fail us... believe only God.

Your loved ones may fail you, but God wouldn't. I wished the world, and even myself, will start to involve God in everything situation and relationship in our lives.. then the world wouldn't be so bad. Because if we gave our hearts fully to God, know that it is in safe hands.

But humans... forever, unpredictable and unstable. Trust me, it's true.

Don't worry, I'm not writing this because of any BGR thing (just in case you are wondering).

But I think I can understand how Jesus feels when we keep getting hurt by people around us. I mean, look... Jesus said, 'Come to ME'. And yet, we keep going to man for the security and get hurt in the end.

Time Spent Loving
Sometimes, I think I have built too high a wall as a barrier that prevents others from getting too deep into my life. Because I hate being vulnerable when opening up my life to others. But at the same time, without opening up your lives to others, you don't make a friend. In opening up, I do not mean just sharing your feelings and deepest secrets. In 'opening up', I mean just choosing to spend time with others, choosing to go an extra mile for someone... choosing to give up your precious time for others... because time is precious, and it's something you can give and never get back. Sometimes the heartbreaking thing is that no one realises that you gave TIME to them... but they realise it when you don't give TIME to them.

Time.. if you haven't realise, is a gift. And it takes effort for the giver to GIVE, and effort for the receiver to RECEIVE.

To me, TIME is the most precious gift you can give anyone. But at the same time, TIME is the gift that no one sees when you give it. EFFORT is what makes me give TIME as a gift. I always feel that I don't have enough time. But really, God made 365 days in a year, and 24 hours in a day, because He knows that is ENOUGH time for us. There is so much wisdom involved in spending my time. I need God to give me wisdom. Life isn't just about myself, but it's about living with many people around who have different commitments and lifestyle. No one is better than another.... I hope we all understand that.

God has helped me to see the sacrifices of the people around me. And I really want to thank many different ones who gave me their precious gift of TIME. I believe that all the TIME you spent giving, will be greatly poured back into your life by God, whether now or in Heaven when the time comes. As for myself, I pray for God's strength in my life to endure the difficulties of not being appreciated, and yet continue to press forward towards the finishing line.

In friendships, people get hurt. Are we willing to forgive and still love others when hurt? Yes, because I know, if I hurt my friend, I won't want her/him to close up to me, just because of my weaknesses. In the same way, I should forgive others who hurt me unintentionally, because we have different characters. A character clash doesn't mean someone can't be your friend. A character clash means you learn to appreciate the uniqueness of others.

That's what friends are for. Sacrificial love. Unconditional love.

And that's the LOVE that Jesus is talking about.

I'm going to work on my assignment now... till then.

It feels like a Long Day!

2010-08-01T01:20:00.004+10:00

So after I posted my little entry this morning... I'm back again, at 1AM (the next day). But it's still the same day, cuz a day doesn't end until I sleep and wake up the next morning...
But let me say according to the calendar... HAPPY 1ST OF AUGUST 2010!

Welcoming myself into another month of this amazing year... I really ought to thank God for all the love He's showered upon me.
I had a good time of thinking to myself, about my life, my God, my surroundings, my family and my ministry. God is still amazing... and I stop at this point in my life, being still and knowing that He is God.

Yes.... Godliness with contentment is great gain. I really want to thank Elysaa for sharing this verse with me. We can never be pleased and satisfied with what we can get from this world, until we realise that our security and life is in Christ. Then... we understand that to be able to enjoy things in this world is actually God's love and grace upon us. For dust we came from, dust we will return to. But certain things, we take eternally in eternity.

I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven; whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.

- Matt 16:19

So it's been an extremely long day it felt. I woke up in the morning to send Kuzi and Wen Huey to Guyatt Park for their Amazing G-Race game, and then went back home, got excited with my plants and took them out for a nice sun bath on the grass. Then for some reason I began washing the porch and made our porch look really sparkling clean, I don't know if anyone would even notice, but I felt happy.

And then got back in my room, spent some time on the computer filling myself with things I have missed out for awhile, checking how everyone else has been going. And then I wrote my PREVIOUS entry... and headed to Sunnybank to buy hotpot stuff... and myself a nice Cha Time bubble tea that I've been craving for. Hm... Black Bean Sesame Matcha Green Tea! I didn't know there were pearls in there... so I took a small straw, went downstairs to the carpark and my straw got stuck. Then I headed back upstairs to get a larger straw.............. I wonder why some times certain things gotta happen to allow time, events and places to hit at the same spot. For this same season I certainly didn't appreciate entertaining a repeated encounter. But oh well... I love my Matcha Tea anyway!

Well, then after that I came back, researched more on After Effects, and then began the night of hotpot at Eddie's place.

It's been a long day... and we ended with dessert at 16th on the Park. I think that's like my new hangout place... but on the other hand, I am started to get a little bored of it. See... humans, never satisfied!

So tonight, I sit here and wrap up this day, and sign off....

And as I wait for my hair to dry, I'll go read Battlefield of the Mind... and try taming my mind. Certain things may happen and some times I wonder if that was from God, or was my long-time-ago prayer answered... are certain things signs from God...? Or is it just spiritual warfare?

I'm past the stage of choosing to avoid the answer. And so whatever comes come. But sadly to say, I'm also not at the right state to practice spiritual discernment. But, I think at this point in time, it's more of trust and faith in God. For now it's for me to understand contentment, and for me to soak in His Love and Living Water... the rest, won't need to wait. They are not important anymore.

All I want to do now, is to pray for people close to my heart to come to know God... people whom I care for and hope they will come to know the saving Grace of Jesus...

It's not a religion I'm preaching.

It's a relationship with God.

A relationship with our Creator.

Then God said, "Let us make man in our image, in our likeness, and let them rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the livestock, over all the earth, and over all the creatures that move along the ground." So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.

- Genesis 1:26-27

I pray God's Light will shine and touch every heart He cares for, and eyes will see and know that He is God.

"Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free."

- John 8:32

Each time I surrender, You test my heart.

Each time I get tested, I am on the verge of failing.

But that is how I know the depth of Your Love for me...

It's because You love me, that You show me my inmost feelings...

And as You mould and refine me, will my faith be able to withstand the furnace.

Thank You Lord, for Your Word says...

No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.

- 1 Corinthians 10:13

Now I Can (Part 1)

2010-07-31T11:07:00.002+10:00

All things happen for a reason... and I'm walking this journey with God above. Learning once again His Grace and patience in my life.

Reading Joshua and Judges lately does help to know my God is a Victorious God, and nothing will be too difficult for my God. Yep.

So... a quick update, and an awesome video at the end you ALL got to watch.

Been reading Battlefield of the Mind by Joyce Meyer since Thursday. Been wanting to read it but never got the chance. Finally, Evelyn lent hers to me.

Way to go... what a nice time to read it.

And now for the best part of this entry.. you will watch something God inspired and totally out of the box. Yes... Go for God, Jin.. and Vanness!! :) I love you both, my brothers in Christ... I always think back to those days before we came back to God... and now we're all in Christ. God is good. :)

Yes.. I'm writing as though we were the greatest of friends, but we're not... but, I'm still happy to see how God has used them both so much in my life personally... before and after I became a Christian. God is Awesome, and we'll meet in Heaven one day. Or maybe before that.. if God permits!

Another Moment

2010-07-28T21:46:00.003+10:00

The Swig

For a moment today, as I was driving home from Toowong after my shopping at Coles, and the car came to a stop at the traffic light outside Sizzlers... I stopped and marvelled at the prior encounter, and the shepherding session prior to that. This was ridiculous. My mind seemed to have become the devil's playground. The devil must have found my mind fun to toy and play with... and seems to be sitting on my swing of emotions, slide of fears, stairs of ambitions....

When the devil had finished all this tempting, he left him until an opportune time.

- Luke 4:13

Then, I wondered...

Why is it that each time I raise the white flag of surrender, the battle seems to begin? Shouldn't the battle usually stop when the white flag is raised in a war?

Maybe... I raised the flag to God... The God of Victory. That's where I pledged my alliance.
I didn't raise the flag of surrender to slavery. That's why the enemy's army isn't very happy... I guess.

And then a revelation in the shower...

But if my God is for me, then who can be against me?

The Army of God... who shall defeat?

With God we will gain the victory, and he will trample down our enemies.

- Psalms 108:13

My Gratitudes

Many thanks to ShinYee mam and Elysaa for their timely advices today... I'm waiting for a spiritual breakthrough to happen...

I walk by faith... each step by faith!

But godliness with contentment is great gain.

- 1 Timothy 6:6

Need your prayers, so if you drop by... you know you can always shout out to Daddy! :)

Really... God, what are you doing?

Each time this happens, I find it funny. But... right now,

In Your Power, command Your protection over me...

'Cause figuring You out is totally impossible....

Silly of me to even have tried.

You're awesome God.

Finding Myself

2010-07-27T23:25:00.000+10:00

Oh Shannon where have you been?

I've been in the kitchen.. yes.... doing some baking...

I've been in the limelight... yes... doing some entertaining...

I've been in the room... yes... doing some reading...

I've been in the field... yes... doing some labouring..

I've been in the gap.. yes... doing some bridging...

I've been in the hole.. yes... doing some reflections...

I've been everywhere... yes... losing my focus.

I've been to the Sanctuary... yes... finding my Strength...

I've been on my knees... yes... surrendering again.

God... be the Driver of my life. Tell me and I'll obey... not try to obey.

Knowing the Truth is meant to help.

So, let the Truth shine, so darkness can be exposed.

Therefore, open up to the Light.

Pray till we break through

2010-07-07T21:37:00.000+10:00

Everyone is called to stand in the gap and pray.

Though I'm not specifically called in the intercessory ministry.... I feel a need to pray.

Lately, there's been so many things happening... in my ministry, in the lives of my friends around me... in my family.... so many things, even in Shannon's little world of emotions, there's been ups and downs.

Some times the fear of failing really strikes... not just in my life, but failing to handle what the Lord has entrusted me to carry, some times... is scary. But I'm rest assured what God has for me is for good and for a purpose. Jesus said, take HIS yoke! His yoke is easy... and His burden is light!

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

- Matthew 11:27-30

Trusting God for the things I have no control over, but only a burden to lift them up in prayer.
For those under my care... for those dear to me.... for a sister to receive emotional healing... for a relative to receive physical healing... for family members to come to know Christ.... for a brother's breakthrough grow so history does not repeat itself... for a sister to see her obstacles broken down one by one... for my dear friends' salvation... for a break through in faith and influence in the marketplace... for the sensitivity to hear the Lord... for so many things...

There is something great for the Church at this point in time... that's why the warfare is even stronger. But the enemy will not hold us down... Ps Lance once said, "Spiritual warfare is not what the enemy does to us. It is what we do to the enemy!"

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

- Romans 8:37-39

Good night friends. I'm gonna pray and sleep early tonight.

Take care and let's unite in prayer!

I have learnt what it means to obey...

Have I really learnt it?

I have learnt escaping solves nothing...

So it's time to face and get real.

But know Daddy is with me to fight this battle!

Concluding WAC2010

2010-07-04T21:49:00.000+10:00

After almost 4 months of hard work, WAC (Working Adults Conference) has finally concluded with a blast!

Seeing all the delegates blessed from WAC2010 is such a joy to my heart and all the committee members.

It's really been the first church event I've organised, and it's been a learning curve. The last time I organised something so huge was in 2005 - Return of the Warriors..

But I know the experience is so different. Because God was in this, and so much lessons were learnt. And also to learn to put up an event with humility, covered by His Grace... is been such a great journey to have taken.

It's been also great to sit under the Word of God brought forth through Ps Jeff from Hope Singapore. The first times I've heard his preaching was when I was in Singapore for a holiday this recent Christmas. But to hear him preach in WAC2010 has a different meaning. I'm so glad to have been blessed by the message God has entrusted him to bring forth to the congregation, and even to hear the Truth being brought forth boldly. Many of us had to come to a place of being real before God, and just wanting to do it the RIGHT WAY of making God the Source of our Influence in our lives.

I've also learnt to discover and develop my giftings from God through this whole season... and I'm still in the journey of discovering where God wants me to use them... I guess it'll be a time where God mould my character so I might faithfully and fruitfully handle them well.

Having to run around the event endlessly, but yet still being greatly blessed by this whole event, both personally and spiritually has been one of the greatest gift to me. And yet God wasn't done in blessing me - I was blessed with a wonderful lucky draw prize - a Jamie Oliver Pasta Maker. Whao... and to think I was the person bringing the gift and dip out.... lol, God is funny. :)

Oh well, I think I can have a good break now... and spend some great quality time with God.. ah...

For now, I'mma meet God in my dream. :)

There may be many things I still gotta learn..

One of that is to learn to say 'Thank You'...

And not take others for granted.

So... Let me say Thank You now... cuz I didn't.

And hope I get the chance to again.

But God, You know that whole thing.....

It's puzzling. But You're in control. So I surrender... again.

Body of Christ, It's Time To Unite

2010-06-23T18:52:00.006+10:00

i have a long and heavy entry here... but I pray it'll speak to you. :)

Introducing....
I'm supposed to be off work and running my legs off in the gym right now. But somehow I just don't feel like it... Been really slack on the threadmill lately... and even to the point I've cancelled my gym pass. The costs of having to maintain a car, and save up for my Kenya trips have enabled me to make that decision. Yes, Atieno, if you're reading this, you gotta feel honoured.

On the other hand, I've been having weekly jogging expeditions with my life group. We're all training for the Bridge to Brisbane 5km run. It's good to see everyone gearing up out of those couches and start running together. Good stuff.

Diverting - Let's Organise
So why am I writing here, in the midst of my hectic schedule. You know I have better stuff to be doing right now since the Working Adults Conference 2010 is just two weeks away. Speaking of that, I thougt I had graduated from organising things when I left SP Wushu 4 years ago.

Some how, in the journey of my Christian walk, I managed to ease away from event organising... and it felt pretty good for awhile! And this year, I received the invitation to join the committee for organising this conference.

I think it's been a journey since I joined this committee. Time has flown by and the conference is just 2 weeks away. And it's been a great learning curve to just being in this committee. A united committee with one main goal.. all just wanting to do this for Jesus and His People. A very different style of organising... I like it.

The Crux - Body of Christ, It's Time To Unite
So let's come to why I am really writing today, staying back in my office, instead of going to the gym and back home to enjoy my wonderful bowl of ramen...

As many might have already heard the news that the City Harvest Church (CHC) in Singapore is currently under investigation from the Office of the Commissioner of Charities (COC) and the Commercial Affairs Department (CAD) as of the 1st of June this year. I'm sure many mixed feelings must be going through the minds of people in CHC and even believers all over Singapore and Asia.

For some reason, my heart aches when I hear believers smirking at the news. I know CHC has always been either a hot fav or totally opposite - a name that rakes up controversy each time either believers or non-believers talk about them. But we got to be careful and identify the work of Satan who is trying to rip apart the church by having so many controversies and rumours spread. And the enemy is a liar, we all know that. And if we're not careful, he'll have us believers flying arrows against one another!

Having been a non-believer and strong anti-Christian in the past, I do remember being one of those CHC critics and haters. Even in my younger Christian days, the mention of CHC would always take the black of my eyes on a journey to the back... ok, that means ROLLING MY EYES.

But as I grew in my walk with God, God began to reveal to me the need for Christians to stop judging one another and the need for the Church to unite.

"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?

- Matthew 7:3 (NIV)

And this whole thing about the Church uniting has also been a deep message that God has placed in my heart over the earlier half of this year! Earlier and throughout this year, God has been revealing to me a process of purification and breakthrough and as this has been happening, I have begun to see even more clearly God's heartbeat for the Church and to understand how His heart aches for His Body when different parts constantly don't see that the body is ONE with Christ.

For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.

- Ephesians 5:23 (NIV)

I do know that churches on one hand should understand the responsibilities they hold in being an impact and influence in the lives of many Jesus has entrusted them to. With great power comes great responsibilities. As churches grow in size, there has to be a need for greater accountability and management of funds and the lives of the people. I believe that many churches are striving to be transparent, open and accountable in the way they handle their funds and lives.. and I greatly applaud church leaders for their effort. It is definitely not easy. But despite the possibility of criticism and judgement, harder roles and many lives under their care, many ones have chosen to dispense themselves to obey God's command to be like water poured out for His people.

Our Role As Part of the Body
We as believers should understand that God has placed our leaders over us to help us understand authority. At times some might have failed and fallen, but who are we to judge God's chosen ones? Instead of judging them, why not understand the GRACE that we can show them the same way God showed us Grace? Encourage them and pray for them instead?

Sometimes, leaders need the same amount of support and encouragement we need. A lot of times I see leaders pouring out their lives, time and money for the lives under their care... but they hardly get appreciated. Yet they are willing to do so. But when things like that happen, the worldly eyes of man jump straight up and finger pointing and condemnations begin. This is so heart breaking!

One of the great message and gifts we all have as believers is that we have the privilege of coming to God personally because of what Jesus has done for us.

So now.. what?
Right now, in the context of CHC's investigation, instead of hurling accusations and critics towards the founders and pastors of that church, won't believers unite and start praying? Instead of listening to what others are saying, why don't you pray and see what God is saying? A lot of times critics and rumors arise from people who go to the church for only a couple of occassions and so determine how that church functions. We can't do that!

Something that hurts my heart so much is that when believers from different backgrounds and understandings hurl accusations towards different churches, judging the way they worship, the way the preach, etc, without really understanding what God might be doing in their lives or saying to us.

Can I please say?
If in our imperfections God has still chosen to love us, why then are we judging imperfections of others?
If one is good at doing something and sharing a message of prosperity because God has anointed him/her to, why are we judging that gift?
If one is anointed with making music and writing songs of worship for believers all over the world to sing and worship God, why are we judging the gift?

Definitely, people who share and preach the word needs to be firmly grounded and rooted in Christ, and to be very Bible based. Being firmly rooted will prevent us from flying too high and carried away with 'imbalanced' teaching. But instead of critizing and condemning, will we start praying and supporting? Will we choose to dispense our lives, rise up and ask God to use us so we can help alongside other labourers in Christ?

When Jesus comes back, He will call the Bride - His Church.

"Let us rejoice and be glad and give him glory! For the wedding of the Lamb has come, and his bride has made herself ready."

- Revelation 19:7 (NIV)

There will be only ONE Bride.

God will not call just your church, my church, his church or her church. God calls HIS CHURCH.

If we can see that, I pray that believers stop pointing fingers and criticising. Instead, let's pray against the work of the enemy and pray for the unity of the Church. Do you see the power of the Church when all the different giftings are brought together and produce the worship and glory that God so ever intended for His Church?

When one part of the body is injured, do we not help out?

Brothers and sisters, see the work of the enemy. Satan is attacking the Church. Not your friend's church. Not a church in your country. He is attacking a part of the Body... and You are a cell in that BODY.

Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it. And in the church God has appointed first of all apostles, second prophets, third teachers, then workers of miracles, also those having gifts of healing, those able to help others, those with gifts of administration, and those speaking in different kinds of tongues. Are all apostles? Are all prophets? Are all teachers? Do all work miracles? Do all have gifts of healing? Do all speak in tongues? Do all interpret? But eagerly desire the greater gifts. And now I will show you the most excellent way.

- 1 Corinthians 12:12-31 (NIV)

What's the most excellent way? Paul goes on to talk about LOVE in 1 Corinthian 13.
And then in 1 Corinthians 14, Paul writes about the spiritual gifts and orderly worship.

Let's Pray
My prayer is that we put our faith, hope and love firmly upon Christ and let nothing shake us. But let us see God's intend for the Church, His Bride.. and what Jesus wants us to be like. Do church God's way.

Whether or not there has been a misused of funds in the CHC, no one knows right now. If there is, we don't condemn. We PRAY. For restoration, repented hearts, and for anyone who has been shaken to find their faith planted strongly on Jesus Christ The ROCK once again. If there isn't, we PRAY. We pray against schemes and attacks from the enemy, and pray for covering over all church leaders in the world! And pray for the unity of churches all over the world!

We pray cuz we love! We pray cuz we know God wants us to LOVE. We pray because we know God hears our prayers. We pray because the Kingdom of God is forcefully advancing and the gates of hell will not stand against it! We pray because we know our prayers make things happen! Let us advance forcefully - YEAH!

From the days of John the Baptist until now, the kingdom of heaven has been forcefully advancing, and forceful men lay hold of it.

- Matthew 11:12 (NIV)

"And I tell you that you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of Hades will not overcome it."

- Matthew 16:18 (NIV)

Lastly...
I'm writing this cuz I went to bed really sad last night when I heard the news (I'm slow cuz I'm in Australia)... more so, even sadder when I found that other churches in Singapore were actually condemning CHC, instead of praying for them. I don't know them very well, but I know that God has used CHC to touch and save many lives... and countless lives have been transformed. At the end of the day, we are looking to God and not to man. God, in His Grace, chooses us as vessels to bring His Love and Grace to others.

When we look at problems through man's eyes, we see heaps of judgement and bitterness. But if we look at things from God's eyes - there you will understand God's Grace, Mercy and Love.

Let's have a God-Centred faith, and pray for one if we don't. :)

Alright, I might just stop here.. and head home to continue on the conference tasks.

And I'd just like to mention quickly, that all the above was written based on what I've been burdened about and on my understanding... and if certain things are not fully theologically correct, please let me know! I'm still growing and learning in understanding God's word! :)

Thanks for reading and dropping by...

GoodTV - JMa + VanNess

2010-06-19T00:52:00.006+10:00

Been extremely busy again... God has been speaking to me so much about many things... and also stretching me in my heart attitude and ability to love and serve Him in many different ways.

Let that be a story to tell and write in near future... for now, let me just show you Jaeson Ma's GOODTV interview... Shin Yee shared with me a couple of weeks ago... Go JMA for JESUS!
(oh the interview is in English - for those who worry it's in Chinese)

And since we're at GOODTV, why not watch again VanNess kor's interview I shared with y'all awhile back... here it is again!
(oh the interview is mainly in Mandarin but VanNess did speak bits and pieces of English when he couldn't find the right words in Mandarin!)

I sit here... and pray that one day we will see XiaoZhu on GoodTV.
Just watching VanNess' interview made me think of the current life that XiaoZhu is living... something within me just burdens for him... I can't do anything man... but I can pray! And so can you!!

Let's pray!!!
Oh yes... and now it's time to sleep! :) Exhausted from a whole week.... ooo~~

Being busy keeps me from SWS~~

JMa - Prophetic Evangelism with Van Ness & Ed

2010-06-03T00:28:00.000+10:00

I thought I wouldn't be blogging... So tired right now, it's 12.30am.

Just finished another multimedia clip for Church... but I think it's really bad this time... So I'm telling the committee to show it only if they think it fulfills its purpose.

Maybe it came together with my mood... I remember last year in June 2009, I blogged about SWS (Shannon's Winter Syndrome). LOL.. I'm still thinking about it... I love winters... but I think my emotions are still something I gotta deal with... again and again.

So... I guess like Paul said... sometimes a thorn in us helps us rely on God more...

Anyway, I'm not blaming SWS... but I guess things haven't really been working well lately.. so I guess I'm a bit discouraged. Glad to capture the thoughts the enemy is putting in my head right now...

But I'm happy I've got all my brothers and sisters praying for me... and just the awesome fellowship God has placed around me... the shelter over my head... and blessings in my life... I'll be glad and rejoice.

Anyway, while waiting for my video to be uploaded and sent to the committee, I watched a clip here from JMa's blog...

Prophetic Evangelism with Van Ness Wu, Jaeson Ma, Ed Huang- 1040 Movie

Hope you guys enjoyed it.

Goodnight! :)

I Offer Short Term Contracts

2010-05-31T12:49:00.004+10:00

Once again I'm sick at home. Rest is good, keeps you going in the long run. Was already feeling quite sick during service yesterday...

So won't be writing too long an entry...~ but I thought I'd just give a shout out here! :)

Yesterday was ministry fair at Church. Think it was quite cool... and I got to know lots more on the different ministries in Church. Not only that, lately I have also found where my calling was... and also how God has created me to operate.

Being in the Security ministry has definitely opened up my eyes to many things and how service functions, and also being able to serve in different events as the security helped me to see how events functions. I've slowly begun to feel like a watchman in God's house. And it's so fun being 'behind the scenes'.

And with regard to multimedia production, it has also given me a chance to contribute into events that are happening and also to be a blessing as much as I am able to for other ministries. Yesterday I found myself telling to many ones (when asked to join their ministry for multimedia production purposes), "I offer short term contracts".

The phrase came when I was driving Jenny Lee from Morning Service back home... and as we were chatting, we kind of came to this 'conclusion' - I offer short term contracts. I used to think I was a 'Jack of All Trades - but good at nothing'. But God has indeed used the little that I have and blessed both myself and others. And I find more joy being able to serve churchwide... offering my skills to all who needs them. My skill is not great ya know.... but God can still use it!

So...... I'm a happy little kid right now. And I'm still loving my Security Ministry... And my life group ministry...! And of course, media production ministry!

God is my creative director - so it's a journey of faith and trust. And... my source of strength..!

And now I'm about to snuggle back into bed to get some rest... and fight this virus or whatever that's causing me to be unwell!

But before that - a little something I did for my security ministry yesterday. Short and simple - but cool if you play it on loop at a booth! :)
i don't think u can see the right alignment on my blog though... need to see it on youtube.

Holla!~~

See y'all again.

I'm following the God Most High

He's taking me on a Magic Carpet Ride!
Showing me the world

From a new fantastic point of view.....
Shining, shimmering, splendid~~~~

Glory to the God Most High

2010-05-23T23:43:00.001+10:00

It's me again. As promised in the previous entry, here are the videos. But before that... let me write some reflections.. :)

Time to embrace other things in my life... keep running the race, and learn to rise up to other things I'm being called to. I really thank God for the 3 months of gruel intensive media training... where my media skills skyrocketed - from the basic Windows Movie Maker to PowerDirector to Adobe After Effects.

From the simple Working Adult first promo video, to the Oceania Convention Rediscovering our Core Values... to Working Adult 2nd promo... and then Unleash.

I, myself, am even amazed by the growth... not to mention it was definitely not my own work... but only the guidance, opportunity and ideas from the Holy Spirit..! And I remember throughout the whole 3 month training process I contemplated giving up so many times. I remember crying in my room when I ran dry of inspiration... "God, am I really called for this?"

And time and again, more than once, would I receive words of encouragement at either Church or Prayer Meeting... Time and again, I wanted to give up, but God never gave up on me..

2 weeks ago, I was praying for inspiration before I embarked on the UNLEASH conference video.... amazing as I sat on my bed, prayed... worshipped God... closed my eyes... and the inspiration, peace and idea just flowed and I found on a journey that led up to UNLEASH!
Ah... like a plane taking off...
Like a rocket, about to go to space!

Hence, here... I'm about to show you... ALL the videos... From the mediocre first video... coming up to Unleash... it's totally God's work and to His Glory it shall be.

First WAC promo video:

OC2010 Rediscovering Our Core Values Shekinah Competition:

WAC 2010 Influence Promo Video 2:

CCM Unleash Promo Video:

I'm amazed by you Lord. :)
I'm affirmed by you...

God has been my most faithful friend, my great heavenly Father who cares, my awesome Lord who leads, my great Teacher who teaches. His Grace upon me... makes me just stand in awe of Him... nowadays, I feel like all I can do is to stand in awe of God... and since of late I've been going through the Book of Proverbs and the Book of Ecclesiastes... nothing facinates me more than God's wisdom and the insights God has reveal in my spirit.

Just want to share the following verses:

Guard your steps when you go to the house of God. Go near to listen rather than to offer the sacrifice of fools, who do not know that they do wrong. Do not be quick with your mouth, do not be hasty in your heart to utter anything before God. God is in heaven and you are on earth, so let your words be few. As a dream comes when there are many cares, so the speech of a fool when there are many words.

When you make a vow to God, do not delay in fulfilling it. He has no pleasure in fools; fulfill your vow. It is better not to vow than to make a vow and not fulfill it. Do not let your mouth lead you into sin. And do not protest to the temple messenger, "My vow was a mistake." Why should God be angry at what you say and destroy the work of your hands? Much dreaming and many words are meaningless. Therefore stand in awe of God.

- Ecclesiastes 5:1-7

Mid year is about to come... Looking back at my journey so far.... 2010 has indeed been one of the most fruitful year in my life. Pray that I will keep up with this pace and God unravels even more treasure as we break the hard soil. :)

Lord I'm amazed... by You
Lord I'm amazed... by You
Lord I'm amazed... by You
And how You love me....! :)

2010

--mission: back to intimacy . training ground: media production . battle: the desire--

Heavenly Dad above...

What are You doing?

It's not tug of war I pray...

Cuz I'll let you win...

Take my heart and purify it.

Going Gear 5 with God

2010-05-13T23:15:00.002+10:00

There's been a lot going on in my life lately. A lot, does not mean a lot of events. But yeah, God doesn't wait too long when He chooses to use someone! Hehe.. But yes, here's an update you have to read!

Right after I posted my previous entry, God began His work. For some reason, like I mentioned a month ago in my previous entry, that God was speaking something to me through JMa's preaching. That was a Saturday.

That night I responded after watching the video - can you see the power of media? Jaeson Ma doesn't need to be here to preach a message from God. God has anointed him and given him this gift of using the media as his pulpit to preach the good news!

Look, here I was crying, "Yes, God. Use me!"

So... there went Saturday night. Little Miss Shannon climbs into bed, hugs Daddy and goes to sleep.

Next day, at church.... I went up at the end of the service during the altar call. And I can't remember what I went up for now, but the person who prayed for me instead gave me a prophetic word and encouragement! God spoke a vision through her:

I was holding a tool and digging the soil. It feels like I've been hitting the hard rocks and my tools are about to break and I don't seem to be getting anywhere with my labour. Even to a point where my tool was exhausted and broke! But God is telling me to persevere and hold on! Because God will provide me with a new tool! And then I will see the rocks began to break open and the receive whatever is in there for me!

Guess what? Doesn't that sound like the vision that God gave me early in the year? Yeah, it has been on my Facebook all these while since the year began: "Embracing the treasures of 2010. Yes... Treasures hidden below hard soil... :) Faith, Hope, Love - LIVE and RUN!"

Amazing! Let me tell you what the prophetic word revealed!

Hitting Rocks
It has been really hard meeting the expectations of the videos that I was asked to create, I was already hitting rocks as I decided that this was what God has called me to. But I believe God was also teaching me faithfulness and perseverance! Which was very much the prophetic word that was given! I was really encouraged to hear the word... and also to embrace my heart as the prophecy told of what was to come. Anticipation!

I had a dream...
I felt the anointing of the Lord come upon me and God was enabling me to do what He has called me to. God used a person as a vessel, and through that person He gave me that anointing. It was an affirmation, a tangible empowerment and an experience that I knew that the message in the dream had already come to pass.
Tuesday 20th, I wrote in my Facebook status that day:
"....and he said, 'come closer', and with a strong and mighty breath, it felt like he blew the Spirit unto me... there was empowerment, joy, strength, gentleness, peace and warmth."

First part of prophetic word came to pass - My tool broke
A couple of weeks passed, and the software I was using to create my videos for the Working Adult Conference expired. There I was sitting in my room, staring at my computer, knowing it wasn't good. The deadline for the video was drawing near.. but I had no software to complete it! The software costs AUS$1700++, where was I to find such a software!!
Wednesday 21st, my Facebook status wrote: "portion of tool just broke... waiting for Providence..."

I sat there a couple of days... asking around for the software, asking who would provide me one... seeing the days go by... not knowing how I could continue the work entrusted to me....

Second part of prophetic word - Tool Provided by God
Thanks to God's grace, someone told me that any full time student can get it for a student price as long as they have a minimum 2 year degree course. So Kuzi agreed to help me out despite not knowing much about computers! The amazing thing is that I got the package shipped to me within 1 day and it got verified within 12 hours.

A miracle! Why a miracle? Because there was so much complications within the process, too much that I can type here. I couldn't register Kuzi's email, and there was 2 emails linked my account. Kuzi was receiving emails for 'Shannon', and I didn't want to lie that I'm Kuzi.... etc etc.

Cut the long story short, God provided...!! Because.... the software is right here with me!!!

Thursday 29th April, my Facebook status wrote: "The prophetic word came to pass... my tool was broken... God provided. I got a new tool! the work continues.. :)"

Third part of prophetic word - receiving what was in there for me
I began the next part. Endless nights of toiling in this field. Ok, don't take that literally. It was not a field, but my room. Sleeping around 2-4am over a couple of nights to finish the multimedia for the Working Adults Conference. When it finally finished, there was that sense of accomplishment within. It wasn't easy at all! But it was such a great feeling... This was my feeling, totally. "It felt so awesome I actually completed what seemed like the FIRST MAJOR kingdom assignment ever entrusted to me, and God has been with me throughout the time of making it!"

The day I submitted my video to the Church, I got an email asking if I would like to join WAM's media department where I can be trained to take the skill to the next level. Words will not express how elated I felt. To me, it's an honour, not to feed my pride, but to know that my work is appreciated. And at the same time, it's a great affirmation to me what God has placed in my heart. To me, this whole media industry has always been 'taking small steps at a time, not knowing where I will head'. In the past, I did it without God. Now, I'm doing it with God...

I look back to where I was a month ago, and where I am right now.... This was definitely God. And definitely, looking back beyond 1 month... or even to last year, where I decided to entrust this burden for the media industry wholly to God.... it's all about surrendering what is really precious to us... isn't it!

But God didn't take it away!! God took it and refined the skill.... God took it and remoulded my heart... God took it and washed it's impurity! And now God has placed the new tool in my hand, much better than before.... because He has given this gift to me, not to use it the way I intended to... but they way He intended to! Only the Maker knows the purpose of each and every creation!!

Where is the video? You will see it at Church this Sunday. :) I'll post it up only after it has been screened at Church. :)

Shin Yee, Nicole... yes, God has surprised me. And I'm still awaiting more surprises!

And doing what God wants me to do is really exciting... and I also learn to fully rely on Him, because He is the creative director of my soul! Hee...

The next video that I've been currently working on is the Student Conference - Unleash.

And then another one soon...

I don't know where it's going to go ya know... but I'm just learning to be faithful, learning to persevere.

I won't say I'm faithful... because I have heaps to improve and learn on what being faithful is... In fact, I am so far from being faithful... and I know my weakest link is faithfulness. But I am definitely having a faithful God who is teaching me faithfulness through His faithfulness. :)

6th May, my Facebook status says: "Faithfulness is the KEY to unlock the doors God has promised He'll lead you to. =) Revelation!"

Thank You Lord... for everything. I'm still finding my way... learning to be faithful with the little I have..

So yeah, I've been really busy. And was talking to Kuzi about how busy we were! And her's a contribution of a positive view about being busy! Here goes:

Being busy does keep temptations away.

It's good to be busy... because when King David wasn't busy when he was supposed to be busy....

Yeah, you know... He stayed back during spring when kings go to war...

Walked around his house....

Looked out of his house.... and knowing he was already looking at the wrong place...

He saw her bathing... and then used one sin to cover up another sin.

Haha.. that's a bit random. But it makes sense doesn't it! Hee..

Ok, I'm going to sleep le.Thanks for reading and praying! :) Hee...

God bless you!

God's plans rock and He is sovereign.

I'm just sitting back and relax.

No, I'm also labouring as He calls.

But... I'm enjoying this whole journey....

And you know, the life lessons and all.......

The sense of humour my God has......

Yes yes, what are you doing God?

The Media Wave - Calling of the Artisan by JMa

2010-04-17T22:49:00.001+10:00

God is definitely using the media to touch lives. I can't help but say whoever has a heart for the media industry, you got to hear this message. If you don't, then I hope you do see what God is going to do in this current generation.

This message is so powerful and real in my life. That's because I was having the same revelation and passage during my quiet time yesterday morning. And today, after I watched this sermon, I was affirmed.

Here goes:

At the last “Kingdom Come” in Los Angeles I gave a message on “The Calling of the Artisan” from Exodus 35, 36… watch this youtube flip cam sermon part 1-8. This message is a clarion call to those who have a calling in the arts, media & entertainment field. It is key to understand that God can not create culture without the “artists” creating on earth as it is in heaven. The Spirit of God fills artisans to create, influence and shape culture for His glory. Watch this messages series, be inspired, and know that God has given you a gift to create, innovate and infiltrate culture with His creativity personified through you! Read more here...

He talks about Jin in this part of the clip.

Journey of Rediscovering

2010-04-16T17:14:00.002+10:00

My 2nd major production... together with Atieno and Kuzi.

May God use this media to touch many hearts. :) I think you'll need a Facebook account to watch it!
Comments in facebook? hee~~~ much appreciated.

Take Authority!

2010-04-13T22:15:00.003+10:00

I was speaking to a sister who was going through a toughest time in her life.

It seemed as though all doors were closed and she had thoughts of giving up, and even spoke dejecting words and murmured about suicide. There I was at her house, and felt called to pray for the whole house. I was hoping there would be other brothers and sisters around to assist me, but God reminded me it was Him in me, not man! It will definitely be good to have bros and sisters around.. but in times where it's just you alone, believe it, God can do amazing things too!

So, I prayed against any spirit that was causing stress, depression or suicidal thoughts upon her and asked for the Holy Spirit to fill her house, her room and her being.

That was just my simple faith and I believe God opening the door for me to understand more of Him and also allowing me to see what He was going to do in the next few days.

Day 2, she emailed me saying how ultimately depressed she was and wanted to see me after work. I rushed to her place again and we had a long talk and tried to find both practical and spiritual solutions for her case. I was amazed because God had given me words to speak and courage to command. And I never was so firm yet able to minister through gentleness and authority. It was definitely the Holy Spirit!

Anyway, at night when I sent her home, she suddenly mentioned that my prayers the night before worked. For in such a long time, she hadn't been able to sleep due to the endless worries and troubles she had. But that night, she slept so well.

It was awesome.

Day 3 - I visited her again, and she said she was so encouraged and inspired after speaking to one sister who helped her in her work. She then told me how awesome God has been in her life, and she actually slept till 11am that day.

I'm still following up on her but I can see that God has used this situation to teach me how to show sincere love, and love with His love. God helped me to see things and people that matter to Him. And also showed me His intention when He wants to bring someone closer to Himself. Yes, and ALL GLORY TO GOD!!

We all have the authority to command the enemy to LEAVE and GO AWAY. We ALL have the authority in Christ Jesus. It's not just for people who are pastors, leaders or called in the deliverance ministry. Jesus said to His disciples, "...In my name they will drive out demons..." (Mark 16:17b)

Children of God, soldiers of Light - TAKE AUTHORITY!

Yeah... right after that incident, I read Jaeson Ma's blog which he personally experienced a similar incident, his friend wanting to commit suicide... I'll post it here for you to read:

Sometimes you just never know when someone may really try to take their own life. At 4:30AM I received a blackberry messenger message from a friend in Asia that was cutting herself. Not only this, but she was hearing multiple voices in her head telling her take her life. She got to the point where I had to call her, when I did, she was crying hysterically and screaming over the phone in desperation. I immediately realized this was more than just a mental breakdown, but this was spiritual warfare. I began to pray for her and bound every evil spirit attacking her mind in the name of Jesus Christ.

The Bible makes it clear that as a believer we have power to bind and loose. We have the power to cast out demons (Mark 16:15-18) and to heal the sick body, soul and spirit. It got pretty intense, but I began to pray out loud and I bound the voices speaking to her, she began to tell me that she felt something, a presence choking her and she could barley breathe. That is when I prayed and commanded whatever was tormenting her to come out in Jesus name…. read more here.

It was a lesson for me. And I learnt a lot through this incident.. and am still learning.

God has been really humbling me and taking me on a journey... and at altar call at Church on Sunday, I received prayer and a vision from a leader who spoke exactly what God was doing in my life.

I'm so encouraged and blessed... At the start of this year, I placed the vision God gave me for the year on Facebook... this is what it says, "Embracing the treasures of 2010. Yes... Treasures hidden below hard soil... :) Faith, Hope, Love - LIVE and RUN!"

The vision was a portion of what I'm doing through as I'm getting to the treasure below... too much to share here, but I'd love to share with you if you asked me! :)

Thanks for reading... and may this post bless your heart!

Take authority:

Pray - draw close
Command - see deliverance and healing

Here I am again...

Laying it down... surrendering...

If it'll happen as you show, then I will wait...

At least I'm blessed for who I am... that I can wait. :)