Right now I speak LIFE

For a moment I paused.

Didn't identify where the discouragement was coming from. It had been going for awhile since a month ago. Then Legacy was the turning point. Was sharing in life group how I battled through only by God's amazing Grace. All I wanted to do was remain at the conference and not go back to the world. But reality was there, and the world was where I had to be in, not of.

But each day going back to Legacy, God made Himself present. His Presence made me just want to remain there. I asked God, why can't the world be like this? But God intended for us to take His Presence to the world. So I asked God, how can I live in this world? God told me, live in His Presence. Find acceptance only in Him. My Hope and Salvation is only found in Jesus.

And then He allowed Kuzi to wait for me to drive her home. Having such a housemate is wonderful... to ride to and fro church... God placed her in my car for that purpose, to encourage me, to know that I'm not alone.

And then Sunday was it. God said, 'GO'.  Come to think of it, I'm now reminded of one of my firey passions this year - the Great Commission. "Which part of GO do you not understand?" And to speak of more encouragement, Atieno spoke her word into my life.

God sent Evelyn to speak life into my life on Tuesday. Funny how the tables turned and I didn't need to shepherd her with the lesson I prepared. Somehow I allowed God's Spirit to take control, and He did. She ended up praying for me and even received a vision for me after I prayed for her. God is amazing!

Even more amazing, I was so sick today I had to go home from work. I thought I wouldn't make it for chairing today. My first time chairing in life group (after a training chairing at UDMM 1 year ago). It was only half an hour to life group and I was still stuck in bed, couldn't get up. But somehow Strength came, and I went...

God spoke more than what I prepared for the sharing. He took over... some said I was calm and didn't seem like my first time. The life group responded. God moved...

Whao... read Shin Yee a.k.a Da Sao's blog this morning at work... and just saw how much she missed God... it's amazing. I do have those 'miss God' times as well... and I pray that everyday I will yearn for God so much..

Moses told God:

Then Moses said to him, "If your Presence does not go with us, do not send us up from here. How will anyone know that you are pleased with me and with your people unless you go with us? What else will distinguish me and your people from all the other people on the face of the earth?"

- Ex 33:15-16

Really.. that is my prayer to God. I can't live this life no more without God..

It's not about me. So, discouragement shouldn't set in. Because it's not about me. It's not about whether I bear fruits now, or later... or what people think of me. It's not about me. Remaining in Christ, and yielding fruit in season. Let God decide the season.

He is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever he does prospers.

- Psalm 1:3

It's all about God.

Learning to decrease, so He can increase.

Back to rest. I thank God for today. The wonderful day He had made. :)

"...If His Grace is an ocean... we're all sinking..."

Who will you take with you? The world and all that's in it will pass and fade one day. The world is sinking... but I know I'm sinking in the right place. Instead of struggling and fighting for my own rights, I'll fight for souls, that we may sink all together in His Grace...

There's so much that I can want and fight for... but all that, I'm letting go, and learning to let go...
God, remind me.

...
And that's all for now folks. I wonder if people still drop by. Anyway, I'm going to believe what God said, and keep writing. Back to bed so I can rest this sickness away.

Conference Galore

Last weekend I was in Melbourne for the ASSCR Conference. Many international scientists came and talked about the progression of research and science in the world... and it was great. At one point, there was a huge debat on how Asia is currently leading research, such as, Singapore, Japan and Korea.

Coming back to Brisbane, there was our Legacy Conference... another wonderful weekend I had. I thought I was having post-conference withdrawal symptoms.. It was awesome, Legacy. I've still got heaps of recorded sermons to catch up on... Well, God's been great.

And then just yesterday and today, I was at another conference - Australian Lab Managers Conference at Southbank. It was humbling to be the youngest kid on the block, sitting in a conference packed with lab managers and many experienced professionals in this field. If this was not God's favour, what is? Was good to hear more about Occupational Health and Safety and its new legislations that were going to be put in place.. And somewhere along the way... they praised the Singapore, China, Taiwan and Korean education system - mainly Mathematics and Science. Hmm...

Pondering
Made me wonder a lot after watching the 1040 Movie, about God's work in Asia, and its purpose in being a nation to fulfil the Great Commission. Whao. I haven't really understood God's intent for me in the Science field, and have always questioned why I always felt God tell me to stay in my industry... but maybe the tip of the iceberg has begun to show itself.

Right now

Am feeling kinda sick right now. Throat was itchy yesterday....
Now I'm a little feverish... slight sore throat... and pulses of coughing contractions are making their way to eruption.

Before I go to bed... Praise God, My Encourager!

God's a great encourager. Been feeling quite discourage for about two weeks, but before and during Legacy, God's been encouraging me to take heart, and to drop disappointments and discouragement. I picked up, and let go, picked up and let go. Through Atieno, Evelyn, Kuzi and Yvonne... thanks girls, God's just kept bringing them to shower encouragement upon my spirit.

I'm so encouraged right now... and know God is one who affirms and pursues.

And for the rest of me, He gave me this as a reminder. :)


I watched Coffey grow from 'Trading my Sorrows' to 'All Ye'... and till today, I'm blown away. Please see his testimony:


In my entry on "Going Gear 5 With God", I wrote:

6th May, my Facebook status says: "Faithfulness is the KEY to unlock the doors God has promised He'll lead you to. =) Revelation!"

Faithfulness to God... not just God's goal. :)

Goodnight~ Let me rest up so sickness can't overtake.

Powerful Legacy Conference

The Legacy Conference is finally finished. And as always, after each major conference like that I always go back to the time God showed me a vision of the transfiguration.

Three years ago, in the vision...:

God, I just want to remain here. Can't I? It's so peaceful here.

No, my child, you have to go back.

Why????

And then my good big bro showed me the verses in Luke 9:32-42.

As the men were leaving Jesus, Peter said to him, "Master, it is good for us to be here. Let us put up three shelters--one for you, one for Moses and one for Elijah." (He did not know what he was saying.)

- Luke 9:33

The next day, when they came down from the mountain, a large crowd met him.

- Luke 9:37

Even while the boy was coming, the demon threw him to the ground in a convulsion. But Jesus rebuked the evil[2] spirit, healed the boy and gave him back to his father.

- Luke 9:42

Peter wanted to remain on the mountain top. But Jesus knew He had things to do, and that was to heal the world that God had given Him. Immediately after coming down from the mountain, Jesus continued His Ministry, and healed the boy who was demon possessed.

That's God's calling for us. And conferences really take us up to the mountain top, but then, we come back down, empowered by God Presence. And the greatest part of this that we all got to know, is that we can find that mountain top experience not only from conferences, but also from our daily encounters with God!

God's Presence

We need God's Presence to be in us and to go before us so we win the victory.

Then Moses said to him, "If your Presence does not go with us, do not send us up from here. How will anyone know that you are pleased with me and with your people unless you go with us? What else will distinguish me and your people from all the other people on the face of the earth?"

- Ex 33:15-16

I so need God's Presence in my life... so so need... more of God.

Everyday. Yes, every day. Not only from the conference, not only from Sunday and Friday... or yesterday.

Heidi Baker once said something like, '...many of us are living on the stale bread crumbs of yesterday's Presence (manna), but God wants to give us His fresh Presence everyday..."

Set Apart

This word Holiness is awesome. To be set apart at times we do things the world hates. But I'm praying for the wisdom and His guidance. I've learnt it takes to understand God's way before we can be set apart. Not approaching His Holy Place with what I think is right, but instead to seek God in Spirit and in Truth. The lesson from King David transporting the ark was so powerful.
 
I'm taking it slow, understand God, live for Him in His way.
 
Battles + Prophecies
 
"A warrior."
"Strong foundations being laid."
"To not be discouraged."
"Rejoice and let the Joy of the Lord be my strength."
 
Countless more prophecies.. Many tears of liquid prayers through the conference. I thank God for the opportunity to aid the visuals team with the DVD recording. I spent the whole conference at the back. Praising and worshipping God at the last row with all my heart. There was so many transactions... I was singing, and then I was not... I was crying, was on my knees.. I was questioning... and hurting... and then I was listening... and He lifted me up, and comforted me. Each worship session was powerful, and I was able to be a part of worshipping God in the main hall, at the back... having my own space and time with God, in such a personal space.
 
And then when the session started, I would be at the PA room doing the recording... didn't know pressing a start and stop button could be so challenging as well. Ps Wilson, now I understand how you felt!! No role is minor or less important! It was also humbling to see all the sacrificial hearts of PA and Visuals Crew members working at the back of the hall... and a lot of many other behind the scene activities..
 
Sleep..
 
So the DVD was successfully published after some late nights. So sleep is now tugging at me. Just had Siew Ching's farewell... it was really touching and humbling to see her heart for those around her... makes me reflect on myself and think of how I can do more for those around me... with a heart that is genuinely character transformed by God.
 
God doesn't need us. He wants us.
 
This new foundation that is stronger, firmer and deeper, is going to go deep and break new grounds... it's a painful journey... but God will help me.
 
Let God arise, for our God is a God who saves. I'll let Him take control.
 
So much more I want to write... but now I know why they say God is amazing for us human minds. Because when God comes, He comes like a tsunami, too much for us to handle. So in the same way, God's touch was so deep, I can't piece it all in words, nor in a single blog entry... and a lot of it is still being slowly revealed... and I'm learning to absorb so it doesn't just become words... but instead, let God's touch do a deep character transformation within me.
 

A life. Not a puppet.

To respect, not to misuse.

To treasure, to bless, to pamper, not for self use.

Amazing In-Control God

God is amazing.

In helping me be real to myself, to Him and to the things that I'm going through, He's taught me that I don't have to maintain a form of righteousness in order to try and be someone. And in accepting this, God has also given me courage to follow Him.

When you follow God, you make a decision. Many can be Christians but choose to lead a life away from God. But for me, I don't want to be like that.

Having experience God's real touch in my life, I am accountable to no one, except the saving love from God. I'm not being legalistic about this, or trying to live a life to please man no more. God has been reaching out to me, and helping me come out of this. I'm not quite there yet, and I don't know the day it'll be fully achieved. But that's faith, and trust that God is helping me. Don't ask me why I'm so sure. But I know God is faithful, and He has always proven to be.

Today Pastor Lance spoke at the Legacy Conference. He's targeted and spoke everything that God has been speaking to me about. A life that goes straight to our hearts. Being a real person.

Many people in the world nowadays try to do things because of society pressure, stress or even for their own fame. And as we have come out of the world, we still sometimes hold on to the things that controlled our lives in the past. Acceptance from the society, family or friends.

God's way isn't like that. God's way is very simple. Find acceptance in God. Only finding that place and acceptance in God will we be able to find true security. And when that happens, nothing in the world shakes us anymore.

If all my friends leave me, it wouldn't matter.
If all my friends reject me, it wouldn't matter.
If all my ambition reaches nowhere, it wouldn't matter.
If all my possessions are gone, it wouldn't matter.
Because I'm safe in God's hands, and that matters - because God sees the beginning and the end, and eternity.

Faith, comes down finally to that. That we know we have eternity with God.

The revelation is still building and the picture is just starting to get clearer.

Yes, I am permitted to question, because God isn't afraid of questions.... no legalistic or politically correct Christian answers, just a true life experience of God - that is how one will truly be able to shine for Jesus.

He's just amazing, and I mean every word.

More to come.

I am permitted to say I'm depressed with certain things.
That I am discouraged.
That things don't go well..
And that I've been hurt.

A lot has been put into this... a lot of emotions and effort. My heart has been put into this. But I feel like I'm hitting walls, and getting hurt. My sincere intentions were mistaken. My care has been made invalid.
Yes, I'm permitted to say. But try understanding how I feel.

Oil and water can never mix. Ten good deeds cannot cover up one bad action. Ten loving words cannot cover up one hurting word.

Why am I trying so hard, to end up hurt by man. When I try to love people, they don't see it. I'm always giving in to others, but then I get stepped over. I say my opinion, but it's always over ridden. I open my heart and life and make myself vulnerable, but they hurt and close me up.

That's why I can't put my trust in man anymore. They will all fail me but God wouldn't.

I'll take break, and keep trying. Be myself - be sincere. And be who God has created me to be.

At least through this I've learnt a lot, and looked back to some good old days... And through those good memories, God is now helping me ride on that cloud to take me forward.

I'm only but a human. Be patient with me. Like how Jesus showed me Grace.

Rayson & Shin Yee's Love Story

It's my honour to present Da Ge and Da Sao's Love Story :)



Hee hee... True love waits.
Yes. TRUE love. True LOVE.
WAITS.

It's deep. Very deep, and true.

Hee~ many of us are still floating in the overflow of the wedding love...~~

But as I was going through facebook, I noticed many posts get pushed down as new ones arises. Therefore I thought I'd post up a recent post I wrote on my facebook status.

I realise I can no longer limit myself when I ask God for something. Because my God gives as we so desire. Spiritual Gifts - all of it! Mission field - the nations! That's what Jesus meant when He said to have a Childlike Faith. Put 10 gifts before a child, which one would they pick? Given a choice, they'll take ALL of them!

 
It's been something that God has been speaking to me a lot lately, especially in the last two months, and I've been feeling that challenge and excitement as well. God is indeed amazing. Yes, amazing is how I will describe Him. He never fails to surprise me.

And I've been seeing more victories in my life. Yet, more tests coming. I pray for God's strength in my life, and take each step at a time. And something I desire is victories over my dreams. A person is actually in their weakest and most vulnerable place in their dreams. But God has been using dreams to speak to so many ones.

We see prophecies, and we also see ourselves. One's state of mind is uncontrollable in dream state, and when you find yourself doing things that you don't ever think you'll do when you're awake, reveals a certain part of yourself that you might not have fully surrendered to God. Sometimes in our consiousness and alertness, we know what we are not supposed to do, because we're Christian. But in our dreams, we see our true self, and also find out where we thought we might have been strong, but actually are weak. So it's always good to evaluate our dreams, to know whether it is from God, the devil, or ourselves.

From God, test the prophecies, pray about it. Then trust and have faith that God's promises will come to pass. God is a comforter and encourager.

From the devil, test, identify and bind the enemy, pray and command with authority & victory. The enemy brings fear and doubt. Identify it and rebuke!

From yourself, test the source and find our heart condition, our weaknesses and strengths, and pray for victory and the truth to set us free. Our hearts are deceitful above all things. Let deception neither rule nor hinder our walk in Christ.

God is sovereign and He'll always protect us. Trust God, put on your spiritual armour and pray in the spirit all ocassions, even during your dreams!!

And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests.

- Ephesians 6:18a (NIV)

Have a great God-filled week ahead!

Joined by God's Love

Today was the BIG day for my Da Ge & Da Sao (officially Da Sao now!).

I'm so happy for them. Happy can't even describe how I feel! But you know what I mean!

God has brought two different people from two different countries to Brisbane together.

He sang while she walked down the aisle. And she sang as she walked down as well. The song finishes when she reaches him.. ah, how it so sings of the Songs of Solomon!

Their lives had never been about themselves since they came to know the saving Grace and Love of Jesus. And even in their wedding, I knew there was a special touch from Heaven that came down. It wasn't about themselves. It was about everyone there who came to share this joyous occassion with them. And it was about God, and His hand upon this marriage.

Whao... If I'm not wrong, not a single person who came walked out without a tear in their eye. Tears of joy, touched by the amazing work God has done in their lives, and touched by their genuine love for one another.

May this be a beginning as they embrace this journey together, with God, the 3rd strand in their lives. :)

"...A cord of three strands is not quickly broken."

- Eccl 4:12c

Congratulations, Mr and Mrs Low! Hee hee...

Clap clap clap.... applaud!!!

Peek-a-boo November

Hey everyone, it's November!

Time Flies
Time is just rushing and hitting me in gusts on my cheeks day by day. I was just mentioning to my colleague how amazing it is, and in a month's time I'll be on my little trip back home for 2 weeks!
There's been so much that God has jam-packed into my 2010. And I really felt that extra stretch and test that God's been taking me through. Having said that, there has been also, many breakthroughs. Whao!

Atieno has told me that I didn't need to seek my own ministry. But as I sought God, He would bring my ministry to me. Indeed, God has done so. And through this year, God has revealed more of His purpose for my life, and the little steps that He has been taking me through seemed to fall into the big picture.

1040 DVD

I ordered my 1040 DVD about 4 weeks ago, and it finally arrived early this week - praise God! I thought I should do a little movie screening at my place, but before I could fix a date with anyone, I put the DVD into my laptop, and started to watch it.

It's really powerful, what God is doing in Asia. And it strikes me more in the video, of the hearts of different ones who gave up so much in their lives, knowing that the things on earth (money, fame, career, or even their lives) do not matter when compared to the Kingdom of Heaven.

It touches my heart so much, to know how we can do so much more for those in need. And this video speaks deep into my heart too, because I know how Jin and Van Ness were before they became Christians. Both their testimonies always remind me of how faithful God is.

God's Deep Lesson

Lately, I have been doing some self evaluation and thinking on a recent turnout of events. God had by His Grace enabled me to see things and pray for things, and before all things happened, showed me His way and purpose. In this 2010, the many breakthroughs and things that happened showed me that God is sovereign.

Some things turned out to my naked eye, not good. I look back and think how I could have done better, and I knew there were some things I could have done, and not done. But in the midst of all these reflections, I also hear God telling me not to be too hard on myself. I guess God's been teaching me to be a bit better to myself, because He loves me as well. And I guess I'm still learning to find that balance in life, learning to sit and listen to God more, and learning to sit and be there for those He brings in my way.

The other thing that I have been thinking of is this awesome Church that God has placed me with. Through tears and joy I have journeyed with Hope Church and here I found a loving family who would always be there when I needed them. And I have also learnt to be there for others when they needed me. Even though some of us have moved on to different places that God has called us to, for example differen life groups, I still feel so connected with them. Some times it is not the time spent with one another, but it's just that bond that is so strong and powerful, and the few words exchanged, yet you know you have a place in the heart of one another. That is the power of LOVE from God that unites us together.

I love all the times where we can be real and honest before one another, and talk about the great things that God has been doing in our lives, and also to share about our struggles and difficulties and pray for one another. And even as different ones might be called further away from their ministry, there is this powerful element it seems, that unites us, and though far, we are still connected.

I love this family of God that God has blessed me with. I know many ones are always so busy serving God, and despite the times where all their hard work goes un-noticed, they still continue to love and serve the different life group members. At times, they even get misunderstood for not caring enough or doing enough. But I know they have been doing so much beind the scenes and praying so much more for all of us. God has been good to us, and my prayer is everyone learn to see the GOOD that God has done in our lives. Because God is GOOD! :)

God has been faithful to us, and He has been adding to us. As a church grows, there will be pruning and purification, and the enemy would seek to create more strife between believers. But God is sovereign, and as we choose to walk in the Light, we will not stumble. 

"Walk while you have the light, before darkness overtakes you. The man who walks in the dark does not know where he is going. Put your trust in the light while you have it, so that you may beome sons of light."

- John 12:35b-36 (NIV)

In the third quarter of this year, God has been reminding me so much about John 15. And my prayer is that everyone would receive and embed this chapter strongly in our hearts.

As we embrace positivity, hope and joy in the Lord, obeying and responding to God step by step in faith, we will see the value of God's word in our lives. Let us be TRANSFORMED as we allow God's word to shape and change us to be better people, living that life of FAITH, HOPE and LOVE...! :)

I won't be quoting many Bible verses today, but all that's written above have been what God's been speaking to me about, and affirming me with the different Bible verses in His word.

Hope that changed a Sinner - Transformed into a Soldier of Light

Many years ago, some might admire Van Ness from afar for his position in F4. Another might dislike him for the fame in F4 as well. And one who knew how deep Van Ness was struggling with his fame issues, have thought Van Ness was a gone case and hopeless person, doom for destruction by the terrors of the entertainment industry. But many ones had that Faith, that Hope and that Love for him. So many ones prayed for him, which he may never know. But most importantly, God loved him, and was pursuing him.

My favourite verse in John 10:10 speaks so much, and sums up a major part of my ministry that God has given me.

I know I've posted so many entries about him, from the day he made that decision to be born again till today. But I'm still going to post this one.

Enjoy, and at the end, you'll hear his new song - glorifying God.

Yes, I like it when he sings his English songs.

Peace, and I'll see y'all again!